redvelvet, i dont think she was seeing anyone at the time i proposed her. and i did not know that she had had a mangni break up before that. she hangs out with this two girls. and both of them are friends with a couple of guys. so in order to understand the situation better, let me call them by letters. so we have our girl in question, X, and then her friend, Y. and then there are these two guys, XX, and YY. we thought X was dating XX and Y was dating YY. I am not much friends with XX. it has to do with his attitude. not many people like him. he is a jerk, attitude problem and all.please dont assume that i dont like him just because he has been hanging out with X. YY is a great fellow. very soft spoken and no attitude problem whatsoever. the other day we were working on a class assignment and i was teasing YY about Y. and he said that he was not dating her. I did not ask him anything about X or XX. but i think X was interested in him because there were some signs that i saw. for example, laughing at everything he said. you know like showing real interest. and ofcourse statements like "XX is learning pashto" etc etc. these were the things like from three weeks or older. yesterday three things happened. we were making presentations in the class. I was feeling bored in the class so i started reading a book not related to the class. my turn for presentation came so i had to leave my desk and go to the podium. anyway after i left, she took the book i was reading and started leafing through it. perhaps she was looking through my notes. dont you think that you are not supposed to pick up the stuff of the guy you dont like? anyway, the second thing happened in the evening. we have different tournaments. in the earlier tournament(football) i played, and XX played too. X and Y rooted for him. yesterday a new tournament (volleyball)started. my team was not playing. XX's team was playing. but surprisingly neither X nor Y were rooting for them. the third thing happened last night. we had this function and there was a song being played for everyone, that showed their personality one way or the other. when my turn came there was big clapping ( i am a friendly jolly fellow and and friends with almost everybody so may be that the case). but the surprising thing is that X was clapping to. she has not much clapped for me before. the other surprising thing was that she did not clap much for XX. there were a couple of other things that have happened too. maybe i am reading too much into all this. or maybe this indifference thing is really working and all.
Jaanaan,
Yaar, this is easy to figure out. And I think you know after all these signs.....and YES she is giving you SIGNS...........that she's interested....or at least open to communication with you.
You said that XX is a jerk and has an attitude problem. Well, the reason why X and Y don't clap or cheer or root for him is because they can tell that he's a jerk and they're turned off by him (whether he realizes it or not).
This girl, X, is at least open to friendship. And she's showing you signs of that. There is a possibility that she could have been flirting with Y to get your attention or she could be interested in him. But one thing is for CERTAIN........she's letting YOU KNOW through certain subtle signs that she's not repulsed by you and would not be against some pleasant communication with you.
The way I see it....if you totally did not care about her at all........even her slightest behavior would not matter to you to the point of posting about it on a public thread. So, **subconsciously **you at least care enough about her to think about and contemplate over her actions.
As I told you in my previous post Jaanaan, just be calm and pleasant. Don't be too rude and don't ignore her completely. Just be friendly but dont' go out of your way to chase her. Smile/nod/say hello and how are you when you see her....listen to her response.....and then move on to someone else. That way she'll know that you are at least open to saying hello/how are you to her. And she might feel more encouraged to "ask you a question", seek your "help" on an assignment. Don't shut her out completely.
The girl could have acted like a ***** because she was playing hard to get. Girls do that all the time, trust me, because they dont' want to appear needy. It's kind of like how some guys will wait 3 days before calling a girl to appear more confident and less needy. It's also like how some guys will deliberately blow hot and cold to appear more confident and less needy. It doesn't necessarily mean that the person is not interested in you. She could be interested in at least a friendship and she's showing you signs.
Jaanaan......you have two choices here. You can either let your bruised ego get the better of you and completely blow this girl off. Or you can be the bigger person and the better Muslim......and just show a calm and polite attitude without playing games. If a friendship develops between you two......that's great! It's always nice to have friends. And if that friendship potentially blooms into a deeper affection.......then that's wonderful. Maybe Allah has it in His plan to bring the two of you together. But regardless of what destiny holds for you both.........just be a gentelman and continue to act calm and pleasant (but not needy).