Hi everyone Plz give me some advice about my relationship. My husband and me we are together for almost five years. He is still a stranger to me. His family says he is very reserve type person. He ignores me all the time. I work in the morning and when I go home. I cook food for him and he leaves for work. He work 7 days a week and by the way I live in USA. When I am home, he is always on phone or watching something. If i ask him something or say something he will be like hmmm. I live in my parents house. He doesn’t talk to anybody in my family. There has been many problems since we married. He hide every single thing from me money, documents, etc. I have one daughter and he loves her alot and care for her, but for me no love and care. I share everything. I ask him if we can have second child coz my first one turning 4 soon. He says not yet and also I ask him if I can leave my job coz we can moveout and I can take care of my daughter. He said no. He doesn’t talk to me about anything whether about are future, his families, nothing.
I feel my life is a machine, and he doesn’t care. He doesn’t give me any value. sometime I think he just married me to come to usa and just make money. He doesn’t go anywhere with us either. I am so stressed out that I feel suffocation in this relationship. Guys please help…
Hi reha we don't argue or fight coz I believe it will effect my daughter's mind. I think we had a fight about a year ago. So I just avoid that. And last time when we had a fight. He left me and came back after 2 months because his parents made him come back. My parents also tried to talk to him since than he never talk to my mom. I always text him if I want to say something but he doesn't reply back.
I am always frustrated and sometime because of him I get mad at my daughter and sometime hit her then later I feel so sorry for my daughter that I just regret.
leave him to his haal, you should go out and have fun with your family, friends and most importantly your daughter. if he wants to act like such an arse of a husband then let him, don’t allow your daughter to feel the tension. focus all your energy on her, if you keep getting concerned over what he does or doesn’t do he’s just going to get more of an ego massage from it. stop caring for a while, honestly it will keep you sane. cook for him, clean whatever needs to be done and don’t give it another thought. he’ll come back to the ground when he realises no one is going to put up with his nakhray.
I try to avoid everything but I m afraid I will loose him coz marriage needs communications trust and love. If I don't cook or do his other work I feel worried for him and he would go away more day by day.
I try to avoid everything but I m afraid I will loose him coz marriage needs communications trust and love. If I don't cook or do his other work I feel worried for him and he would go away more day by day.
Exactly WHAT do you stand to lose if he goes away?
Please list his good qualities and how he contributes to the relationship in a positive manner.....
It’s good to know you’re so focused on how YOU feel and what YOU want…do you ever stop and think about what your 4 year old daughter is going through? You think its a good idea to continue living with a man who frustrates you so much that it leads to you HITTING your CHILD? And on top of this…you want to have a 2nd child?!
^She’ll be too busy with the second child to hit the first. The next baby is a life saver, a beacon of hope. See, that’s not so hard a paheli to crack, Paheli. Sheesh.
Now she just needs to figure out how she’ll make the next baby if husband avoids her like the plague.
^Which just brought to mind that one Rani and Sharukh movie where they get married n he has no interest or time for her. Similar to OP’s dilemma. And ironically the movie was called…Paheli.
Hi guys I want to have second child coz I am always burden with a lot of work as he doesn't do anything expect work. And I want to leave my job. So that way I can stay home and take good care of my home and kids. Because he uses whatever I make and keep his separate. So if he thinks that I have no right to discuss our financial issues than its better to stay home. Working and plus taking take of home and my daughter makes me so tired everyday that if I don't stress than wht I get.
1) ulterior motives/manipulating your husband/marital situation is the WORST possible reason to have another child...you're setting yourself up for even more failure
2) how does your husband "take" your complete income? Get it direct deposited into your own account
3) he's basically a ghar damad/jamaai right? How do your parents tolerate such blatant disrespect of their daughter under their own roof? And if he left you once before, why he heck would you even want to stay with him?
I use to have separate account and he thought I give money to my parents so for my parents respect I had joint account and also we give rent to my parents as they can't afford us. Whatever I spend he is aware of that but where he kept his i have no idea. My parents have no choice coz they are helpless. You guys are aware of all that izzat stuff!
yeah well you all should've thought of that before going through with this arranged marriage and now being in such a crappy position where you feel it's okay to take your anger out on your little kid (that post i did not see before). grow up before you decide to bring another poor soul into the world in that environment. i don't know what else you will continue to endure in the name of izzat.
If you and your parents care more about culturally imposed “izzat” then you being stuck in an emotionally abusive marriage with a man who doesn’t love or respect you then there really isn’t any advice anyone here or anywhere can really give you..it’s just going to fall on deaf ears
