Wish you all the best fairy.
From fella's perspective..he is not interested nor attracted to you. The guy does not even talk to you..this is not good.
Re: I am just Tired.
You work and your husband doesn't say a word to you so you think you should have another kid, quit your job and stay at home? The most absurd solution ever. I'm so dumbfounded I'll just save the rest of my words and maybe that's what your husband does and perhaps this is why?
Re: I am just Tired.
If it wasn't for the fact that you said that he loves your daughter and seems to treat her differently, I'd think he has Asperger's.
(not that that's an excuse for emotional abuse)
Re: I am just Tired.
After 5 years you can't make a person change and frankly it doesn't seem he wants to change either. As it was a arranged marriage you got dealt a bad set of cards and you have to play your hand. The important aspect of change is that everybody does change for the good or for the bad. Some changes are natural some aren't. But there also has to be a will to change your ways and address the happiness of someone else in the mix. There also has to be a desire to see the other person happy and make time for them. In your case none of this working. I highly doubt your husband cares to change or has the will and desire to make you happy. When that is the case you can not do much.
If someone is not willing to change for the happiness of their spouse, or does not believe it is necessary you can not force it. If you force it, you will basically have fights, resentment and a horrible marriage. Not much of a change from what it is now, but it could be much worse. In your case I truly am sorry you have such a horrible marriage, but bringing another kid into the world would be a very very bad idea. And it wouldn't benefit anybody and it won't affect your husband at all.
Life and relationships are about managing priorities. Who or what is more important. In your example, if the man can not make time for you, or you are always last on the list of stuff he doesn't care for you. Sorry to say he doesn't love you, he doesn't care for you and you may wish to see better roads down the line.
Re: I am just Tired.
I use to have separate account and he thought I give money to my parents so for my parents respect I had joint account and also we give rent to my parents as they can't afford us. Whatever I spend he is aware of that but where he kept his i have no idea. My parents have no choice coz they are helpless. You guys are aware of all that izzat stuff!
I'm sorry, no...I'm not aware - what izzat stuff? Are you kidding me? Your parents nor you are helpless. I don't understand this mindset. If my husband treated me like this, my parents would kick him out of the house and let their daughter be free of such a man. But it wouldn't come to that because before them I would kick this kinda man out of my house.
Please learn to stand up for yourself and realize you are not living in the 12th century. And your reasoning for 2nd baby also makes no sense. How is that going to help you be free from stress and being over worked?!
Re: I am just Tired.
Hi reha we don't argue or fight coz I believe it will effect my daughter's mind. I think we had a fight about a year ago. So I just avoid that. And last time when we had a fight. He left me and came back after 2 months because his parents made him come back. My parents also tried to talk to him since than he never talk to my mom. I always text him if I want to say something but he doesn't reply back.
He's living with your parents and still so disrespectful?
I am always frustrated and sometime because of him I get mad at my daughter and sometime hit her then later I feel so sorry for my daughter that I just regret.
I don't even know what to say to this...do you not feel terrible?
Hi guys I want to have second child coz I am always burden with a lot of work as he doesn't do anything expect work. And I want to leave my job. So that way I can stay home and take good care of my home and kids. Because he uses whatever I make and keep his separate. So if he thinks that I have no right to discuss our financial issues than its better to stay home. Working and plus taking take of home and my daughter makes me so tired everyday that if I don't stress than wht I get.
You want to have a second child so you can use that baby as an excuse to stay home? And what will happen then? You will run out of cash and be a helpless stay at home mom who has to depend on her husband to even get her a toothbrush...a husband who does not want to even tell her what he does with his money? You want to have another baby with him? How are you even attracted to him after all this?
I use to have separate account and he thought I give money to my parents so for my parents respect I had joint account and also we give rent to my parents as they can't afford us. Whatever I spend he is aware of that but where he kept his i have no idea. My parents have no choice coz they are helpless. You guys are aware of all that izzat stuff!
Hmm...so he suspected you were giving money to your parents and that's wrong how? So what if you were? How is this bad? How can you allow this to happen? How can you knowingly allow this to happen right in front of your daughter who will grow up with the same mentality?
fairy doll, I know its easier said than done. Believe me I know. But there comes a point in life where you really have to evaluate your priorities and see what is important. What is really really important to you right now? What is your top priority? Once you figure that out, you will know better what to do.
Re: I am just Tired.
. And your reasoning for 2nd baby also makes no sense.
She is looking for an excuse to sit at home, as her husband isn't letting her otherwise..... but even then its a dumb thing to do in this situation.
Re: I am just Tired.
You should go and see a therapist to help you cope with these issues sooner rather than later. As you already know, it isn't right to take out your anger and frustration on a helpless child, regardless of his/her age. If you aren't going to leave this situation, then take steps to channel your anger and frustration into a different direction. Get a punching bag if you have to but do not ever lay a finger on your child unless you want that child taken away from you, permanently.
I certainly do not understand how having another baby will help you cope. Popping out kids is not the solution.
You already know what his personality is like. Say you do get pregnant, have another child and stay at home - you will be 100% dependent on him. Why do you want to put yourself into that position?
I am just Tired.
Does he have his green card? Maybe hes waiting for that before he legs it. Id so send him packing. Either way, you are not helpless.
Either demand he treats you with respect or ask him to leave. He doesnt give two hoots about you or your family... Not sure why he should get the chance to enjoy all the benefits. Get rid of joint account asap and transfer all your money to your account. Dont leave your job or even think about another kid, youl be even more dependent on this abusive numpty making you feel worse, not better.
Re: I am just Tired.
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