Re: I am confuddled
You do see red flags. The reason girls ignore them:
They feel real life explanations for a guy's behavior doesnt really apply to their situation. He is different, he has a good heart, blah blah blah.
They are caught up in wedding planning and dont notice the signs.
They make excuses for bad behavior...the most popular is stress.
As for inlaws...it doesnt dawn on any girl until she has to deal with them on a very very very real basis...like everyday or even a few times a week. Seeing your future MIL once every few weeks is nothing compared to living with her. Even if the warning bells go off, girls ignore them because they want to be respectful and the ideal Bahu.
However, its easier to be an ideal Bahu once a month, thousands of miles away...when compared to a Bahu who lives with her inlaws and deals with them every single day.
So yeah, warning bells go off left and right...but you ignore because you want to really give your relationship a good shot.