I think GS is so full of trolls/flamers recently that sadly anyone who has a real problem, noone will believe them, thanks to the others who pull these cheap jokes.
So, if this isn't a troll and it si a real person... getting surgery over something innocuous as tampons just doesnt' make sense.
If it was the other thing, fair enough, she wants to start over and has changed her ways...BUT...i also think we should not forget that even if she did sincerely repent, she did commit a sin and this is just one of the consequences...I know its not fair that men wont suffer as much consequences (on earth) as women might (unwanted pregnancy, tarnished reputation, etc) but two wrongs don't make a right, that doesnt mean she should "lie" to him......Hopefully her husband will not notice/not ask/not care.
and what do u think about a relationship that has at its core a lie. and what do you think about the people. whether the girl has done something wrong or not, if the person she is marrying can not understand this and a lie has to be manufactured to make the wedding work then there is a problem at the foundation of the wedding. I am not sure what kind of person has to inspect the sheets to validate the quality of goods
Now assuming that someone who goes for this procedure has a different history, tell me is it fair to lie to someone and present things differently. just because some men may be boating about their victories, does that in any way shape or form justify lying to one particular man?
So ur hearing this "Excuse" from guys who heard it from their wives after they got married...right? Those guys shouldn't be talking abt their wives. barray beghairat hain if they're talking abt their wives........
guy
1-nikkah to this hijabi girl for 2-3 years, I respected her like my real bhabi.
one day guy called me crying that it was over.
Girl openly said it on my friends face that she was doing "stuff" with other boy, over and over.
2-Married to to this girl who later filed for divorce, in court room she described her "S "life with my friend.
All nasty stuff, almost send my friend to jail just because he wanted to work things out with her.
Both of the dudes are happily married to normal girls both have babies.
Both B_tches are miserable , unable to get married etc etc etc.
by the way they spoke about those B in the manner we describe a NIGHTMARE.
^you wont believe the pain those short sighted girl caused my friends.
But now after years passed by every one knows who was right and who was wrong.
An other similaites in both stories , both father in laws admitted to my friends "beta mery beti bywaqoof hy, I feel sorry for you. Mager meen bybas hoon"
some thing along those lines.
I do agree that a marraige based on a lie is totally wrong and that is why I suggested that she go have a talk with her husband to be..or else let it be(meaning the operation)..If the truth (whatever that it really is) cannot be taken by the husband to be…then I would say that being in such a relationship may not be worth it.Yet at the same time I think about our culture’s views..A woman is considered as"impure goods" if they believe she is not as pure as they come, while the husband no matter how many flings he had..donot count and just is considered as the “coming of Age” for him, while a woman is reduced to looking for ways to try to redeem her proof of her chastity.All in all it does not justify for covering up a lie but then again..you cannot change a whole culture’s view point.Why is she reduced to such a way? What is making her think of going to such extreme measures…surely its not appearances only.
Just look at the reaction from this thread..people are all so ready to decide on what she did or didnot do for her!!
guy
1-nikkah to this hijabi girl for 2-3 years, I respected her like my real bhabi.
one day guy called me crying that it was over.
Girl openly said it on my friends face that she was doing "stuff" with other boy, over and over.
2-Married to to this girl who later filed for divorce, in court room she described her "S "life with my friend.
All nasty stuff, almost send my friend to jail just because he wanted to work things out with her.
Both of the dudes are happily married to normal girls both have babies.
Both B_tches are miserable , unable to get married etc etc etc.
by the way they spoke about those B in the manner we describe a NIGHTMARE.
That my friend should be under the topic of "cheaters'
I do agree that a marraige based on a lie is totally wrong and that is why I suggested that she go have a talk with her husband to be..or else let it be(meaning the operation)..If the truth (whatever that it really is) cannot be taken by the husband to be...then I would say that being in such a relationship may not be worth it.Yet at the same time I think about our culture's views..A woman is considered as"impure goods" if they believe she is not as pure as they come, while the husband no matter how many flings he had..donot count and just is considered as the "coming of Age" for him, while a woman is reduced to looking for ways to try to redeem her proof of her chastity.All in all it does not justify for covering up a lie but then again..you cannot change a whole culture's view point.Why is she reduced to such a way? What is making her think of going to such extreme measures...surely its not appearances only.
Just look at the reaction from this thread..people are all so ready to decide on what she did or didnot do for her!!
"men" are not one monolithic entity so the reasoning of men have it easy has no bearing here
and yeah society is bad, etc etc. does it mean we further fuel the beast?
answer this question
whatever the reason of the situation, would fooling the husband be fair to him?
"men" are not one monolithic entity so the reasoning of men have it easy has no bearing here
and yeah society is bad, etc etc. does it mean we further fuel the beast?
answer this question
whatever the reason of the situation, would fooling the husband be fair to him?
yes or no.
Same goes for the women not being "goods". And yes men do have it easy..I still believe that...Do they or would they have to have the "talk" with their partners to tell about the the quality of the goods there??Would they just volunteer such info..or do they?
Would you condsider being Silent a form of lie too? The reson"What they dont know wont hurt them" kind? Yes or No? The guy who doesnt divulge his information about his patners or whatever considered to be lying?
Fooling the husband, fair or no fair, doesnt really matter. He could be fooling her for all she knows too... but there'd be no way to ever find out... what he knows certainly cant hurt him. Especially in the case that she has repented, then why even add that part you know? The way that some men react to a nonvirgin bride is completely unfair too... I mean the girl could have everything BUT the hymen, and she's considered complete trash... if men werent so obsessive then women certainly wouldnt have to go to such extreme measures to ensure happiness and respect for themselves in their marriage.
Its not a life or death situation where he absolutely must know. Boo hoo im gonna die if I never know if shes been around the block before. Gimme a break.
[quote]
Would you condsider being Silent a form of lie too? The reson"What they dont know wont hurt them" kind? Yes or No?
[/quote]
Doesn't it say in our religion, if u commit a sin (any sin) and you sincerely repent for it, in that you never do it again and change your ways, then you should keep quiet about it?
Doesn't it say in our religion, if u commit a sin (any sin) and you sincerely repent for it, in that you never do it again and change your ways, then you should keep quiet about it?
I didnt know about the last part...That would make sense though. I have heard about keeping quiet about your flaws. Thats the thing, it is for Allah Mian to judge us for whatever that is that we have done wrong and not the people. Repentence sure is the key if we are to stray from the path.
Same goes for the women not being "goods". And yes men do have it easy..I still believe that...Do they or would they have to have the "talk" with their partners to tell about the the quality of the goods there??Would they just volunteer such info..or do they?
Would you condsider being Silent a form of lie too? The reson"What they dont know wont hurt them" kind? Yes or No? The guy who doesnt divulge his information about his patners or whatever considered to be lying?
sorry dont dodge the question here. whatever society is and whether men in general have it easy or not is not the question that I asked. Please answer my question first.
do you think teh guy needs to be lied to? Y/N
once you answer and stop dodging the question we can talk further.
Fooling the husband, fair or no fair, doesnt really matter. He could be fooling her for all she knows too...
'could' being the key word, which is not a defintite situation.
so basically we are saying that since a possibility ecxists that he can be keepingt hings froma woman that it is okay to use the possibility as a reason to lie to him?
The way that some men react to a nonvirgin bride is completely unfair too... I mean the girl could have everything BUT the hymen, and she's considered complete trash...
simple solution- dont marry such men.
if men werent so obsessive then women certainly wouldnt have to go to such extreme measures to ensure happiness and respect for themselves in their marriage.
correction not men..'some' men
you know what else is a betetr way to ensure happiness and respect? to be honest, and if the guy cant handle it, dont go for him.
Its not a life or death situation where he absolutely must know. Boo hoo im gonna die if I never know if shes been around the block before. Gimme a break.
maybe to you truth and honesty in a relationship is not a big deal, for some people it is.
Thats my humble opinion.:) **I would suggest you talking to your husband to be **or just let it be.
I do agree that a marraige based on a lie is totally wrong and that is why I suggested that she go have a talk with her husband to be..or else let it be(meaning the operation)..If the truth (whatever that it really is) cannot be taken by the husband to be...then I would say that being in such a relationship may not be worth it.Yet at the same time I think about our culture's views..A woman is considered as"impure goods" if they believe she is not as pure as they come, while the husband no matter how many flings he had..donot count and just is considered as the "coming of Age" for him, while a woman is reduced to looking for ways to try to redeem her proof of her chastity.All in all it does not justify for covering up a lie but then again..you cannot change a whole culture's view point.Why is she reduced to such a way? What is making her think of going to such extreme measures...surely its not appearances only.
sorry dont dodge the question here. whatever society is and whether men in general have it easy or not is not the question that I asked. Please answer my question first.
do you think teh guy needs to be lied to? Y/N
once you answer and stop dodging the question we can talk further.
I think I have answered your question. See the above posts. If you want me to say it again then, No I donot think that a guy needs to be lied to...but at the same time He shouldnt lie to her either....may it be being silent at the time about his own sins.It is a two way street. A marraige is based on trust.
And for the record I wasnt dodging the questions, personally I have to think about the why..why a person stoops down to do such a thing.Do we put women on such a pedestal that they can never come down from it safely, and the only way they do is usually a fall.
One thing that Sara516 brought to light does make me wonder if its a good idea though.
Now your turn to answer my questions that I asked.
