Faisal bhai, Per Islam main yah kio kaha hain kay agar tumhara spouse ghalat rastay pe ja rahi ho to pehlay us ko samjao, per tora sa danto, per bistar alag.... Yes your right that everyone is responsible for their own deeds, but not if they are ur family members... Agar Ap kay oulad batameezi karta ho to u have the right to stop them and teach him the right way or even raise hands on them.. same things applies to spouse.. Some how on the day of judgement you will be responsible for it as well.. just telling your spouse to fast and if they do not listen to you, un ko unkay haal pe chorna yah to koi stranger say hee karta hai na.. biwi ya hubby say to nahi
Why you stopped at bistar alag? :) There are muslims (men, mostly) who'd argue that Islam allows a husband to beat his wife (lightly, of course) if she doesn't obey her husband in matters of religion. While I don't disagree with the premise of this "permission" nor do I question the authenticity of this (pls no long cut-paste here on this), its not something I personally subscribe too. So while some men think its ok to beat their wife, and believe that Islam actually allows it, I prefer to use my own judgement on this.
Secondly, it helps to give your spouse some credit for using their own brain cells. If their judgement is so poor that they can't make the right decisions for themselves, even after you have given them good advice, then actually you have bigger problems in your life than you realize.
And lastly, roza depends a lot on niyyat. As we all know, merely starving is not roza. So whats the point of beating your wife (or husband) or getting angry over it, to make them comply? This logic is a bit too mind-boggling for me to comprehend. I am guessing smarter people here have this figured out.