what would you do if your wife refused to fast during ramzan and she had her reasons but u thought they r not valid and that shes just bs-ing?..would u get angry..or not mind?..would u force her or not care?..would u taunt her but not force her?..etc etc..
Re: husbands..
hmm depends on the reasons..
my hubby sometimes cant fast.. at first i would get mad at him (as ive been fasting since i could remember), but ive realised its hard for him... so i dont push it. I let him know that id like him to fast.. or at least try to... but yeah if he doesnt, thats totally up to him
Re: husbands..
you have to give him benefit of the doubt.
what would you do if your wife refused to fast during ramzan and she had her reasons but u thought they r not valid and that shes just bs-ing?..would u get angry..or not mind?..would u force her or not care?..would u taunt her but not force her?..etc etc..
my dad does not want to fast sometimes as he too had his reasons but i would get angry with him and not talk to him and than he would fast
my hubby doesnt have problems with fasting but he does with praying. i can remember the fight we had during saheri time about him not fasting.
i would not and will get angry if my hubby wont fast.
Re: husbands..
if my wife to be did not fast, i would be beat the %$#@ out of her
Re: husbands..
In matters or faith or religion, everyone has to answer for their own deeds. Our job is to give our opinion and recommendation. Whether someone complies or not is up to them. Getting upset on such things is a waste of time and energy.
Re: husbands..
Check out this link, someone asked a similar question to the one posted.
Re: husbands..
Contrary to common belief , Islam has also made all the religious rituals a personal matter . There is no worldly penalty for not performing any mandatory or religious obligation. Even the Islamic state is not allowed to punish people for not performing their salaat, fast , hajj , zakaat etc.
Why because if someone is performing his/her salaat they do not have to announce it to the world similarly if they are not performing saalat they do not have to announce to the world.
Yes Islam emphasizes that people invite each other to good deeds and forbid each other from doing bad deeds, that is the end of it. There is no ghunda gardi or dada geeri in Islam for enforcing obligations to Allah.
Islam has penal system only for worldly crimes like murder , theft etc.
Now if a husband or wife does not have a valid reason for fasting all we can do is tell them that we would love to be togather in Jannat and salaat and fasting will be one of the contributing factor to make it possible. We can cry over their lack of interest and love for their religion.
if my wife didnt have good reason - i would diffo be angry or then agian just leave her to it she get punished when her time comes ;
:o
Re: husbands..
Or the hubby could fast for her too (as in 60 days instead) 
Re: husbands..
[QUOTE]
Getting upset on such things is a waste of time and energy.
[/QUOTE]
Ditto. Her not fasting would be her personal business IMO. For me religion is between a person and God. If she wouldn't fast then its up to her.
^^ haha
I’m not a husband neither a wife , but if my husband was not fasting i wud be extremely angry, if the parentz don’t fast how will the kids grow up to follow the basic beliefs 
its compulsory, everyone shud fast unless they hav very valid reasonz affecting their health which does not enable them to do so…
I think itz better to find this info’ out all before marriage, i kno i’d like to kno all this before hand 
Its amazing how many of you said you would be extremely angry and upset if your partners didnt fast. Or maybe the ones who would let them be havent really bothered replying. How can you force someone to fast? IF their neeyat is not to fast, thats that... no matter how many days they spend staying hungry, they arent fasting for Allah, they are fasting for you. Like Faisal said, when it comes to faith and religion... every person has to do their own thing and answer for their own deeds... you can encourage them to, but thats about it. Let them decide what they want to do. You can bring up roza's fazeelat and the sawab and how good it is etc. and get them to start to want to fast,, which would be great, but you simply cant force someone to fast. I dont quite get the reason why you'd be upset either. Namaz comes before roza... worry about that if you really are looking for an excuse to get angry. Bhooka rehna isnt the same as fasting.
Totally agree:k:
i Wouldnt be mad at my partner for not fasting he would have to answer to God for his own actions not me all i can do is guide him
Contrary to common belief , Islam has also made all the religious rituals a personal matter . There is no worldly penalty for not performing any mandatory or religious obligation. Even the Islamic state is not allowed to punish people for not performing their salaat, fast , hajj , zakaat etc. Why because if someone is performing his/her salaat they do not have to announce it to the world similarly if they are not performing saalat they do not have to announce to the world. Yes Islam emphasizes that people invite each other to good deeds and forbid each other from doing bad deeds, that is the end of it. There is no ghunda gardi or dada geeri in Islam for enforcing obligations to Allah. Islam has penal system only for worldly crimes like murder , theft etc.
Now if a husband or wife does not have a valid reason for fasting all we can do is tell them that we would love to be togather in Jannat and salaat and fasting will be one of the contributing factor to make it possible. We can cry over their lack of interest and love for their religion.
totally agree, imagine if in islam it was ok to force/make people to perform their salat and have a worldly penality for not doing it etc... do you thnk those people would be praying for Allah, and their prayer will be worth something? it would right out negate the whole point of the ibadat anyways ...
i think the only time this is ok, is with very young kids ( e.g. sometimes you have to discipline them to sit down, leave their play or cartoons and read quran with their qari sahib ), but for any baaligh kid or adult (and teenagers are baligh once reached puberty) you can in no way at all force them to fast or pray, and most of the ibaadaat like fasting etc become only farz when you are baaligh for this reason...
the only thing you can do , i s talk to them about how good it is to do something, why people who do it, actually do it, what do they get out of it... etc... what do quran and hadith say about these ibaadaats etc.
Re: husbands..
If i fast, he should fast.. My dad is diabetic and he needs to take his medication 3 times a day but during Ramadan he AlhamduAllah fasts and he says tat Allah always helps him cause he wants to take full benefit of the holy month of Ramadan.. Now if an old guy like my dad can do it i think everyone else can as well.. Now ofcourse there are situations or sickness tat avoids u from taking fast which Allah has always allowed…
But for other stupid reasons.. I rather leave his house for a month then watching him eat infront of me cause he has headache
Re: husbands..
Sorry for the long reply.
Before taking any step I would like to discuss with her the matter in detail, and try to find out her reasons. If she convinces me that she is leaving them only because of laziness and carelessness,...then I would follow my Plan. (by the grace and mercy of Allah (s.w.t)
Such matters are usually situation sensitive. One has to deal with the spouse in terms of his/her psychology.
I can't be angry at her, because Allah (s.w.t) has not appointed me a "Thanedar" (police inspector) to force her to do anything.
I can't remain "unworried" in my daily life behavior because the following hadith would constantly bother me
[quote]
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar: Allah's Apostle said, "Surely! Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charges: The Imam (ruler) of the people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects; a man is the guardian of his family (household) and is responsible for his subjects; a woman is the guardian of her husband's home and of his children and is responsible for them; and the slave of a man is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for it. Surely, everyone of you is a guardian and responsible for his charges."
[/quote]
So, it IS my responsibility to do "something" because if my beloved wife is intentionally making my beloved Allah unhappy, then I have to do something to resolve this relationship, as I love both Allah (s.w.t) and my wife, otherwise how would I be able to sleep comfortably. I need to do something** BUT keeping in mind how does her psychology works.**
Hmm.. Lets see,...
Does she gets motivated and realize her mistake if I start telling her the attributes of Allah (s.w.t) ? Allah (s.w.t) has been so kind to us all our lives, He keeps giving us even when we are disobedient to HIM. He has made us more privileged than most of the people around us........(Imaan is strengthened by mentioning of Allah's attributes).
BUT if she is not ready to listen, then I have to follow PLAN (B). I would cut short my chit chat, frank talks and switch to silent treatment....etc. If she asks me the reason of this, I would humbly tell her, *" My beloved wife, I love you very much !! BUT how can I remain happy with you while you are intentionally making unhappy someone who is more dear to me than you. Secondly, I love you very much and it is not possible for me to let you do such a sin that might become a cause for your entering hell or a reason for the nature to punish you in this world. I don't want anything to cause you pain. And I am sure you would also try to do anything to stop me if I try to harm myself in anyway because you love me. And you shouldn't allow me to disobey Allah because you love Allah more than me. Remember, if Allah is not happy with us, our relationship can never survive, because there won't be any "barakah" (blessings) in it"
*
Meanwhile I would keep praying to Allah (s.w.t) to bless her with the realization of this important duty, because my efforts are of no value if there is no "Barakah" (blessings) of Allah (s.w.t) in them.
I might be wrong in some places. Allah knows BEST! May Allah (s.w.t) guide us all towards the right path. Ameen!
**
thats the answer!
Re: husbands..
^ Thats true but your faith doesn't always remain the same, sometimes its strong sometimes its weak.
I think if my hubby didn't fast, I would be mad at him but offcourse i would be upset, I would want him to. First, i would pray to Allah a lot to change his mind and to make his and my faith stronger. And then like Sub to peace said talk to him, make him understand how important fast is. Not force him into it but talk to him about it and not rest until he is completely convinced its something he NEEDS to do. And I would expect my hubby to do the same.
Re: husbands..
If my wife is not fasting then I would ask her why, if it is medical reason than I would encourage her to see a doctor and see if we can solve the issue find a solution.
If it is non-medical than I would ask her to keep at least 1 fast in the whole month. After she has completed her first fast, I would encourage her to keep another fast. I won't push her, just encourage her like setting a milestone in ones life and trying to work towards it.
IMO the best way to tell someone what Islam is or what being a Muslim is, is to show them by actions. I used to ask my non-muslim friends to fast with me once in ramadan if they wanted to know how I feel during fast, most of them did try and they got to know a bit better about Islam I guess. I also used to take them to mosque if they wanted to just sit in the back to observe what we were doing, during jumma or during eid namaz or during halaqas. We have to be open towards them, invite them to experience our lifestyle and then inshaAllah rest can be left to Allah to put noor in their hearts.
I have gone to churchs, sit through their sermons just to show my willingness to learn their religion and in return they learn a little about my religion. The same should be done with the wife (in this case). Get her indulged in fasting slowly. Like we do with our young children. We ask them to start by keep the last 10 fasts and then so on.. they might not understand completely about why are they fast except for the "coolness" factor but I guess its OK to feel "cool" to be a Muslim :)
spread the religion by love, not hate.