so last few days ive been on walks, within our home area, not outside. anyway today i went out and onto the road, and apparently its not ok for me to do that here. my husband saw me and asked why i was on the road at that time ( its was 7pm!) and he was really angry. wtf. i do not understand this. seriously. sometimes his stupid xxxxxxxxxxxx makes me so angry. i dont see why theres an issue. and he doesnt even say why. he just got angry and said next time i dnt wana see u there. why.
i feel like im becomg a shadow of myself. i wish there was a way to hate him sometimes. just hate him.
Pesahwer is still very conservative compared to the rest of Pakistan. When I am there (well now that Im married they cant say anything to me, but before marriage), my male cousins would get super mad if we went outside the house. And if we were all going out, they would make us wear chaddors, and in some places cover our faces.
I understand that being from UK, you arent used to all this (Im from Canada, so for me it was weird too!), but living there you have to understand the dynamics. I know its not fair, and it can get so depressing always being cooped up in the house. But I think you should just continue your walks within the walls of the house. It sounds like you have a pretty large area to walk there. Sometimes, even just the fresh air outside can help.
I know a lot of people give you grief cause of all your threads, but I do understand where you are coming from. You were brought up in UK, where you most probably had a lot of freedom (I dont mean partying and clubbing and stuff) - going out when you pleased, driving on your own or even taking the bus, not needing someone with you when you were going out - and now all of a sudden that has all been taken away from you. I only go to Peshawer for a few weeks at a time, and I start to feel completely suffocated by the end, so I can only imagine what its like for you to live there, and also have to live in a family where you have problems. Just try to hang in there for a few more months - if I remember correctly you are going back to UK in the new year.
i understnd, but he coudlve been nicer about it. not get pissed and angry. and now hes not talking to me anyway. and contradicting me. just now FIL asked me something, and husband interrupted and went against whatever i was saying....all deliberatly, why? cos hes still angry about so called incident. if hes worried, ok be worried. why get angry and act like my dad. hes not my parent. and yes im in peshawar. i swear theres loads of girls walking around, maybe not alone. fine. but i was a 2 second gap away from my home, not on the outskirts of nowhere.
I woke up in the morning and found my husband in the bathroom doing gurgles, his voice was so creepy that I feel like throwing up, I told him......
blah blah blah
blah blah blah
I often feel I am I am slave of my MIL, can I kick her, just once
at the moment, gupshup is a haven for me. and yes i may make people go mad, in reality im perfectly normaL. YOU would never ever believe it was me here if you ever met me. i keep things to myself in real ife. but here i can be ME, and vent. and you guys are kind of like my friends, who can give me unnbiased advice and alot ALOT of critiscism, which by the wya i have never minded and always come back for more.....so ....whatever. !
He could have said it nicely, of course. But of course Allay miyan made your match according to you, so he told you it in an angry way so that you understood it well. Hopefully mission accomplised and you wont be wandering around in Peshawar at 7 pm, acting as if you're fresh of boat aka. walati. :) Problem solved.
^ Nadz, yes…I agree with you that your husband could’ve been nicer about. But on the flip side, you also could’ve used a little more common sense in picking the time go be outside on your own.
Forget Pakistan…I’m in the U.S. I live in a gated community in a safe neighborhood. Yet even I don’t go outside on the roads on my own in the evening/afterdark!
Your husband was obviously in the house, and you obviously didn’t let him know that you wanted to go take a walk on the road. And this is the part that absolutely baffles me. Firstly, I have no idea why you chose to take a walk at 7 p.m. instead of going during the day…since you do not have a job and don’t do much housework. Secondly, why on earth would you not let your husband know that you were going outside on the road if he’s IN THE HOUSE!
Like I said…yes you’re husband could’ve handled this better. But you also really need thinking about how you’re doing things.
i was living in karachi in 90s and we never went out for walks in the evening and that too alone, you dont do these kinds of things in pakistan especially now a days.
PAHELI- he wasnt at home, he saw me as he was coming home from work.
and ok i get it. but it wasnt dark and reason being almost 7pm- cos its less humid and bit cooler to go out. and only my husband has an issue with it. no one else.
why are you testing his patience ?