-u spend ur whole life with him
-u love him
-u TRUST him
-u RESPECT him
to me it was a arranged marriage like mostly are. i felt in love to him. he shows me the colourful lights of life and been so kind to me.
but after marriage he changed his face…
beforehand i told him that i smoke (dont give any lecture i know its bad and i quit ) it was my secret that i entrusted him.
my parents and siblings went back to europe after my wedding and i stay over in pakistan after a few days the drama should be began he began to tackle me tumare ghar waloon ne tume bas itni kaam jewellery di hai unn ko mere status ke bare mahlum nahi tha muhje suzuki cultus dih hai. yeh furniture kya tumare ghar waloon ko free me mila tha. muhje tumari ek cheez nahi pasand yuh tumare ghar wallon ne tume dih hai even my younger sil came and say ur dinnerset looks so paindo! this is a small brief…
all this things hurts me alot i was crying all the time my parents call me every single day but infront of them i act and say i am happy.
my SIL live 400km apart from my in law my husband pack his bag and went to her and leave me alone than he tell my in-laws abt the thing with the smoking.
i was so much dismayed abt that. than i began to hate him i scarded abt that. but i declare my heart. and say no he is my husband.
now i am back in europe and he is now same like the person who i met. i loved thi sman and i have a baby inside me…
should i turst him again? he apologize for his behave
well it wouldnt make sense to not give it a second chance. The possibility of him learning his lesson by u going away is slim but it could happen. Sometimes u have to be stern with them and kick them up the backside which u have done by coming back to europe. Go back and see what its like. Tomorrow no one can say u never tried. Maybe he has learnt his lesson. I cant guarantee it but dont u thinka marriage is worth checking out the possibility of whether it can be fixed? And maybe you should try giving up smoking (im not giving a lecture) im just saying it so that HE doesnt have an excuse to say ANYTHING to u at all. I always hate giving the next person a reason to pick on me or point fingers, i would be angry at myself!
-u spent ur whole life with him
-u love him
-u TRUST him
-u RESPECT him
to me it was a arranged marriage like mostly are. i felt in love to him. he shows me the colourful lights of life and been so kind to me.
but after marriage he changed his face...
beforehand i told him that i smoke (dont give any lecture i know its bad and i quit ) it was my secret that i entrusted him.
my parents and siblings went back to europe after my wedding and i stay over in pakistan after a few days the drama should be began he began to tackle me tumare ghar waloon ne tume bas itni kaam jewellery di hai unn ko mere status ke bare mahlum nahi tha muhje suzuki cultus dih hai. yeh furniture kya tumare ghar waloon ko free me mila tha. muhje tumari ek cheez nahi pasand yuh tumare ghar wallon ne tume dih hai even my younger sil came and say ur dinnerset looks so paindo! this is a small brief...
all this things hurts me alot i was crying all the time my parents call me every single day but infront of them i act and say i am happy.
my SIL live 400km apart from my in law my husband pack his bag and went to her and leave me alone than he tell my in-laws abt the thing with the smoking.
i was so much dismayed abt that. than i began to hate him i scarded abt that. but i declare my heart. and say no he is my husband.
now i am back in europe and he is now same like the person who i met. i loved thi sman and i have a baby inside me...
should i turst him again? he apologize for his behave
This is so often when a greedy family arrange a marriage of their son with a paindu guy.. its really scary..... smoking is apart but other things cant be tolerated. really... its better to be aprt from him with legal actions..
No i think u shud give it another chance. We as outsiders are usually unaware of many other factors.. I always say you never know what goes on behind closed doors, let alone a computer screen.. Maybe he just needed a bit of polishing, maybe he will learn to respect u. On the other hand maybe u need to set out some rules that need to be followed for when you go back.
he said to me gave all my nephews gifts and brought my sisters to eid some clothes from barezze. i do... including there husbands and my mil and fil after eid my fil says tumare salaami ke paise kahan geh hai? but no one was happy abt my gifts they said the clothes look crappy bla bla
kya meri eid nahi thi? i was alone in pak it was my 1st eid after wedding. my fil gave me 500 rs as eidi. when i ask after some socks and clohtes cuz the winter is coming my husband says salaami ke paise hain na tumare paas unse leh lo aur waise bhi waari main tume itne kapre mile hai (all fancy and in chiffon) woh tum pehn sahkti ho. i asked my sister that she sent me some money that i can brought socks and winter clothes. but never ever told her the reason y i want the money.
Only you know this but does he have good qualities? Did he give you any reason to believe he deserves a 2nd chance or was he all materialistic and coming down you? Doe she have any positive attributes, that can allow you to live with him? Only you know if he is worth it? How did you have a baby if he treated you so badly?
this baby is a part of me i want this baby to know that i have someone who call my. its like a bad bollywood story someday he was very kind and lovely and someday like a monster like someone makes me bad infront of him.......i dont know.
yes sure i want that the relation works. i thought abt it i will send him a visa that he came over here that i can distinguishable from each other. maybe its his family who makes this **** and works agains me.
^How gullible can a guy be if every vile action of him can be attributed to his family? And if indeed one is this way, are they mature enough to handle any situation? Whether or not his parents. sisters or other family members added to the problem, it is your husband who needs to realize that he is being unfair to you. He needs to realize that your parents weren't under any obligation to provide household furniture and car and what nots for him. On the contrary, it's his job to provide these ameneties to his wife. Unfortunately people in Pakistan have come to see dowry as their justifiable right.
Secondly, why does he expect you to buy gifts for his family? Gifts are something that should be given out of love, or because you feel like giving them, they shouldn't be DEMANDED for heaven's sake!
Honestly how much did you get for your salaami that they constantly keep bringing that up? Regardless of what you got in Salaami, it's your husbands religious duty to pay for all of your expenses. And in failing to do so, he is not fulfilling his duties. If you really wish to go back to him, or for him to come to you you need to consider all of these things. To me they just sound like a greedy bunch of folks. Maybe now he is being only sweet to you to garner more 'material favours'. If I were you, I would think twice before sending a visa to someone who has already shown how greedy and materialistic they are. Apart from being an uncaring spouse.
^ true! whatever the guy and his family are doing is totally degrading to a woman as a wife and a member of their family! What is the value of a marriage come down to? a piece of furniture, a china set? 20 tolas of gold? 2 goats?
they all told me senior citizian holder hai tumara baap kya woh tume jeep nahi tha deh sahkta khana hai uski saab savings. i am not of this daughters. i answer my dad gave me things for my use not for u or ur family than he calls me "zuban dahraaz"! he gave his sis this and this but man i am his wife. i remeber one day we wana left with the culuts that he dont like to bazar and he stopped the car on gas station and say to me tumare kaam jahra hu tum gas ke paise do. i dont wanna create any scene so i pay when we came back home i asked abt that against he told me ZUBAN DARAAZ i am honestly not a person who bear everything but i see and saw him as my husband and dont wanna make him angry. but he didnt care abt me also not his mum or dad forget the sisters.
but i wanna gave him one last chance, so nobody can say i didnt tries. how this chance looks be i dont know still confused.
he force me to gave them gifts, even i dont want that.
i told him onse that i note that all in his house are greed. i think maybe my mil listen it. and come in began his bahkwas speech abt farma bahdar bahuu hum KHUDA ne saab kuch dia bla bla i was never thinking that aur ppl aur so much greedy. KHUDA SAAB KO EK ACHA PYAR KARNE WALA SHOOHR AUR SUHSRAL DEH!!
I think instead of jumping straight to seperating, she should call him over to germany away from family. He will need loli to help him settle, she can sort of show him the way she lives her life and how to be happy and not so materialisitc at the same time.
I know it sounds harsh but if he depends on loli for a while she will have more control over the relationship and they can maybe build and bond and maybe he will change.
If not then kick him right back to pakistan!
Plus a baby needs its father so maybe it is time for him to come over.
loli seems like ur husband is either easily persuaded by others, or is a total dumb arse. how ever good u feel about ranting on here its not gonna make things better. u should sit down and share ur problems with ur family, at the end of the day they are the ones who can really help u. Do u think ur husband will change? if so how? work on it and make it happen, mayb its a good idea if he moves to Germany with u. if he doesn't change will u be able to live with him for the rest of ur life?
On the other hand u say u now hate him becoz of the way he has treated u. and ur pregnant a baby is no cure for an unhappy marriage think things through thoroughly, and make a wise decision