I think instead of jumping straight to seperating, she should call him over to germany away from family. He will need loli to help him settle, she can sort of show him the way she lives her life and how to be happy and not so materialisitc at the same time.
I know it sounds harsh but if he depends on loli for a while she will have more control over the relationship and they can maybe build and bond and maybe he will change.
**
If not then kick him right back to pakistan! **
Plus a baby needs its father so maybe it is time for him to come over.
yup if all else fails then that seems like the best option.. The time spent on him jsut about getting citizenship could be the time u take to understand his true intentions towards you. If you dont see change then do what the girls suggested.. boot the fool
if he is not willing to respect his wife in pakistan, where he is at ease and comfort, then he is hardly going to "change" in a new country where he will be struggling to start a new life. Guys are different under pressure. She will have to deal with a lot more of him along with the newborn.
if he is not willing to respect his wife in pakistan, where he is at ease and comfort, then he is hardly going to "change" in a new country where he will be struggling to start a new life. Guys are different under pressure. She will have to deal with a lot more of him along with the newborn.
Ditto. I agree. Give him an ultimatum if you are able. Tell him how you feel and how his actions hurt you. Try to do it in a manner that doesnt offend him and hopefull yhe will understand that this is what it takes to keep you happy & not miserable. Instead of sponsoring him and taking a big risk and wasting your life, I would go spend some time in paki with him to see if his behavior has changed. If not then you really need to think through what your course of action should be.
loli seems like ur husband is either easily persuaded by others, or is a total dumb arse. how ever good u feel about ranting on here its not gonna make things better. u should sit down and share ur problems with ur family, at the end of the day they are the ones who can really help u. Do u think ur husband will change? if so how? work on it and make it happen, mayb its a good idea if he moves to Germany with u. if he doesn't change will u be able to live with him for the rest of ur life?
On the other hand u say u now hate him becoz of the way he has treated u. and ur pregnant a baby is no cure for an unhappy marriage think things through thoroughly, and make a wise decision
-good luck
i hate him for his behave yes. but as i said i explainted my heart to cut this feeling of hate.
r u sure that a baby is gurantee for a 100% happy marriage? i dont think even when they all talk behind ur back pata nahi bacha bhi paida kar sahkti hai ya nahi.
in this time i was already pregnat i come back go germany than i told him abt it and he was more happy than anyone else on this world. i really get confused dont know what should i do sometime?
if u really wanna find is he changed or not go back to Pak for a while n spend few more months there. make clear ur dad can't spend on them any more. if things look well sponsor him otherwise he might go there n then make ur life hell. n stop giving in to their demands. make excuses or say nothing but stay quiet.the money u spent on buyiing them edi u should hav spent on urself.
Ordinarily speaking, I would say "leave him, he isnt good enough for you, he is scum, etc". However, I believe you are pregnant and for the sake of the baby...you should try to make it work. I know you have been trying but try a little harder only because you might regret it later. If all fails, then leave him and make sure he absorbs medical bills, child support and is responsible for the child as much as possible.
hi loli
my suggestion wud be.....
make him come 2 germany,
Do Not and i repeat DO NOT support him financially even for a single day, if u work take leave .. if he s educated make him find a job for himself, if he s not ..... bad luck . also he wud have the perfect excuse of not knowing the language.... so tell him 2 get enrolled in a course n learn n make sure frm day 1 that ur family doesnt support him.
im saying this coz frm ur posts ive come 2 know that he s greedy to his bone n may be he doesnt know that its the guys responsibility to take care of the wife n not the other way around ,,,, he sud take pride in that ...(that ting abt complainin abt the dowry not being up to the mark was vvvvv cheap) unfortunately ppl in pakistan r takin after hindus.
so the soon he learns the better. otherwise there s no point continuing. he wud continue being a pest. WUD u like that??
best of luck.
makes me wonder where have all the men gone????? real men who take pride in taking care of their women n children n not accept dowry, or support frm the inlaws.
Loli !!! your inlaws sounds exactly like mine. esp the "bacha paida karna " wala thing u said.
although i am still trying to make my marriage work but deep down i know he wont change and i think ur husband will not change either. if u have the courage and ur family supports u leave him for your own good future......
Ordinarily speaking, I would say "leave him, he isnt good enough for you, he is scum, etc". However, I believe you are pregnant and for the sake of the baby...you should try to make it work. I know you have been trying but try a little harder only because you might regret it later. If all fails, then leave him and make sure he absorbs medical bills, child support and is responsible for the child as much as possible.
Unfortunately he is in Pakistan, no concept of Child support there