husband strong in values

Lifestyle Relationships
1

what do u do if a guy is a little conventional, as in hes strong in values the old fashion values and the wife is not? there would be a clash right? how do u deal with it??? can someone answer? whats the option, how to deal?

2

Re: husband strong in values

Clash would happen .. for sure.

Could you elaborate further, what those difference in opinion would be ..

3

Re: husband strong in values

is it a question of 'values' or lifestyle.
somethings that arw considered 'values' are not necessarily values they are simply family or cultural traditions, but are noted as values to make them seem more than they are.

like when ppl say, our family values dont allow for girls to get educated, are they really family values?

the same old fashioned values clause is pulled out where women are expected to be subservient.

4

Re: husband strong in values

The solution to long lasting marriages = compromise.. on both sides. Other than that, clashes will be the understatement.

5

Re: husband strong in values

a good compromise is an outcome which comes from mutual respect and maturity.

6

Re: husband strong in values

i absolutely hate when people say marriage is compromise-- why do it then?!
WHy would you take your wonderful independant life and make it a compromise.
A marriage is a merging of two people, families and lives.....

I'm taking ineverything he has to offer not giving up all I want or had...

Bul buli jaani no offense to you at all... please dont be offended

7

Re: husband strong in values

Muniya, a compromise in marriage is not a sacrifice, its an understanding of each other's strengths and weakness and to adjust accordingly

8

i have seen 3 divorces recenlty and all three the fault is at women side

9

Re: husband strong in values

Well, Lakkis25, I don't think an outsider can know both sides of the story.

Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
10

yes that may be true, i heard it from the husband and his version obviously is his side
but all three didn't last for more then 3 months
in one case the wife didn't allow him to touch and later from chat scripts of his wife he found out she has an affair with her classmate

and other two are bit similar
and all three are arranged and all are very highly educated like studied in IIT's

Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
11

dear AMna,
try not 2 discuss the topics on which u and ur husband clash on. tyr to avoid topics nd situations where u know there'll b conflict. focus on stuff that can bring u guyz 2gthr. dont worry, in a little while iwth passage of time his storng values will be watered odwn a litltle the longer he lives with u.

this seems like an arranged marraige, am ir right? did ur husband come 4rom paksitan and ur nrp(non resident paksitani)? if so then my advice will be useful 2 u.

good luck

12

in that case both of them need to talk , talk and talk .........try to discuss that particular prospect , tell each other what yr point of view is , but this is only possible if both partners r open to discussion and come up with a mutual decision without hurting anyone's sentiments ......whereas in situation where husband ( or wife ) wanna impose something on his spouse against her will than i would say that's not fair and that would definitely end up in a clash.

13

yeah exactly! why compromise, thats what i dont understand as well......

14

no its not arranged marriage, it s love and its not about me its about a friend of mine, they both are from pakistan..........but the guy still believes in some of the old fashioned stuff that are old fashioned for the girl but not for the man.......like husband ko aap kehnay mai koee buraee nahi, kehna chaheay, even if there is only one year gap...

15

Re: husband strong in values

invite to meet half way. begin to understand the logic or illogic behind the expecations.
then take an action plan to implement consistently.
this is perhaps the only one prized bond in human relationships, that both sides need equal proportion of, to ensure keeping & maintaning it.

16

things like husband ko aap kehna chaheay, chahay age difference sirf aik saal ka ho, things related to that..nothing family related........in other things hes pretty decent and broad minded, infact he encouraged his wife to do whatever she wants, as in she wants to build her career so he encourages her, but when it comes to these issues there is a clash

Time pass
17

other wise the husband wife are still in love with each other its almost 3 years since they got married.......now they are in a terrible fight koz it got aggrevated and aggrevated........

18

Re: husband strong in values

^ ehhh couple fights usually start b/c of something silly or stupid...

if the big things are okay, then just let the little things go, like calling him aap or whatever.

19

Re: husband strong in values

What's the harm in calling him 'aap'?

Time pass
Time pass
20

Re: husband strong in values

phewww.........so yr friend's husband wanted her to call him aap , and she think he's old fashioned ?? if they both r from pakistan than , they must have known that millions of women over there call their husbands aap not b/c it's old fashioned but out of respect . and how long they've been married ?? and if they've known each other before getting married didn't they discuss this @ that time ??