mine is a love marriage. my husband works for an american company so he is in office all week 4pm to 3am. i take very good care of everything. his clothes food tiffin llunch/dinner everything.. after he leaves i have nothing to do than wait for him. i cant socialise coz i dont have family and frnds nearby. i go to my mom’s place for a week every month.
so i really look forward to the weekend. but we always end up fighting on the weekends. he is an outgoing person who likes to be with his frnds so do i.. i cant go alone so he has to take me out. i have no other option.
there is one of his frnd who doesnt work wealthy rich guy ABC. this guy always turns up every saturday and sunday leaving harldy time for us to be together. my husband thinks i m over reacting. he thinks he is spending good time with me..
for example last week was my bday, my husband took LEAVE for my birthday. after lunch husband was out with ABC for like 2 hrs. came back watched tv. we went out for dinner which was done in an hour. came back were sitting nicely. ABC calls and takes him out for like 4 hours.. he came back at 2 am.,. WTH it was my bday you got leave for that and this is what i get???
and the whole week he doesnt bother calling. its only on the weekends. ABC spends all his week with his wife and kid so it doesnt make a diff to him but it does to me.. i get so irritated.. feel so helpless and suffocated and my husband doesnt find aything wrong with it.
am i expectingt tooo much?? how do i deal with all this.. i hate self pity but i m going thru it
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
Well Kareena, these things happen in Saifs' line of work. :D
On the serious note, whenever ABC comes to your house, ask him to bring his wife, as both men are together, its unfair that their women remain isolated. May be he will get the point, if not still insist that you want to meet his wife and befriend her. Once you meet her you can tell your point.
While I believe that, we men need space of our own and should be able to carry our friendships after marriage but it should be managed.
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
Sometimes people do things without realizing. Your husband's friend might be one of those who just doesn't get it. Maybe you could talk to your husband and set a day where you ask him kindly that no matter what...please let's just enjoy our time together. No interruptions.
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
after he leaves i have nothing to do than wait for him. i cant socialise coz i dont have family and frnds nearby.
i cant go alone so he has to take me out. i have no other option.
Exactly what is preventing you from making new friends in the area you live in? Why can't you go out without your husband? Since you have nothing to do all day but wait for him to come home....why don't you get a job? Or even go volunteer somewhere?
Your frustration/anger is justified. However, I think part of the problem is that you're inside the house by yourself all day long so your entire week's focus is on the weekend going out with your husband.
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
Since your husband works late afternoon/night I am assuming you can not leave the house due to security issues in Pk. Is that the reason or is it something else?
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
Since your husband works late afternoon/night I am assuming you can not leave the house due to security issues in Pk. Is that the reason or is it something else?
Ah yes....I just noticed the timing. So husband works 4:00 p.m. to 3:00 a.m.
OP: I assume your husband sleeps most of day on weekdays b/c of his work timing. What do you do while he's home sleeping during the day?
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
he comes home.. i have to serve him dinner. if nothings is left i also make anything for him to eat.(i cant sleep and wakeup so i am up till hes back) so yes we both sleep at the same time and i get up an hour earlier or so.. then i have my daily chores which hardly leave me an hour when he relaxes before going to work.. watching tv and laptop wagaira wagaira
seemingly ABC thinks his wife doesnt like going out much. and he comes from a conservative big family so he cant take his wife out on weekends everytime. so he takes my hubby out lol
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
He doesnt enjoy doing anything with me.. I feel hurt!
likewise these days i am also not enjoying or liking doing anything for HIM. i loved to bake for him but i just dont feel like doing it now. i just do it for the heck if it IF I HAVE TOO. i feel guilty too :(
i think this is straining my relationship and i dont want that to happen.
he thinks i make a mole hill.. and i m the one trying to bring ISSUES in our happy life..
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
today was saturday and abc and some frnds turned up as soon as we woke. then left. my hubby took me to the parlour back in an hour.. abc comes and takes him for like 6 hours.. its midnight and he is still not back.
i msgd my hubby saying " ab plz ask abc not to show his shakal tomorrow lol" to which he replies " lol kal ka toh plan hai" ..
i msgd him back saying "oh sure feel free"
i cried and cried for so long. what do i do? i hate that *******