Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
Do you think he will agree to spending at least once a week with you? Tell him he could go once a week with his friend, and spend another day entirely with you.
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
and what if he says i m behaving like a nagging wife and all that crap..
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
Well explain to him that you want to spend time with him also. Tell him that it will be a fair way to solve this. And you both need to compromise.
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
Kahani ghar ghar ki . U seem to b in similar situation that I used to b in. I was also new in country and hubby has million friends in every city. It took lots of fights/discussions/time away from each other for him to realize my point. He still sees his friends but AH he manages time.
R u in isb by any chance cuz I m desperately looking for friends.
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
Your husband is being a jerk and so is his friend. I'm sorry but this is just not normal. My hubby's best friend used to have a key and just turn up whenever. I used to come back from the supermarket and find him in the flat and I'd be like WTF!! He was like the interferring MIL I didn't have. Hubby didn't get it in the beginning, too used to his bachelor ways, but after much discussing and arguing, the friend began to realise that he couldn't any more just roll up like in the bachelor days.
Yoru hubby hasn't made the transition from bachelor life to married life. You need to lay down the line and tell him you need time with him, and yes if necessary admit how jealous you are that his friend gets so much of his free time and you're just left alone all day. It's totally wrong. In the meantime you need to find something to do. From my own POV, it's a lot of pressure on a husband when he has to be your husband, sibling, best friend, entertainmetn, taxi driver, everything. I too moved to a foreign country and got involved in some hobbies just to ease that pressure off him, but the first few years were really hard.
There are some habits that are very hard to change. I have compromised and accepted the ones I worked on and saw no change (eg my hubby almost always prefers to go on holiday us with friends, rarely us alone, and I can tell you I nearly blew up like a pressure cooker over that one for YEARS and then just gave up and accepted it, he's a good hubby, holidays with friends isn't a deal breaker)
Get yourself a hobby or some friends. If all else fails, go to your mother's and don't go back, or have a sex strike. Childish? Yes, but then he too is acting liek a child and not a married man who puts his own family first.
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
How long have you been married btw?
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
How long have you been married btw?
we have been married for more than an year now. whenever i expalin him with valid points he understands feels guilty, says sorry..and the week goes very well.. as soon as the weekend arrives. he hears the car's horn. he just cant control lol..
he comes back and again the cycle continues.. i sometimes feel like calling up that friend abc and explaining him how much prob he is causing between us.. coz apart from that all is well between us Alhamdulilah. its just the abc prob lol
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
No I don't think you shuold talk to the friend. This is an issue between you and your husband. You need to bring it up with him again. You should never let a third party get into your relationship, whether it's another woman, a best friend or a job. Don't come screaming at him with this, find an appropriate moment, say on a Thursday evening and say so what are we doing this weekend? If he says I have plans with ABC, explain that you would like to do something with him and have him to yourself all weekend, because ABC gets him all the time. If he gets defensive and says you are making him choose, tell him he made that choice already once he got married. You are not telling him not to meet his friends, but every weekend is too much.
Also, don't hide your feelings with lols etc. You need to be upfront about how you feel. What caring husband would feel happy that his wife lay in bed sobbing her heart out while he stayed out till midnight? For example, say tell ABC not to come around tomorrow because I have plans with you, we're going to see a movie/going hiking/baking cakes, whatever. If he said the plan is already made, that's not on. You can't just make plans and not inform the other party. it may be old fashioned but I still ask my husband if it's ok that I will go to see so and so or if so and so comes over, and he does the same. If he insists, don't say as you wish, let him know you are not happy about this. You could take an unexpected trip to your parents, and when he asks why you're going just say "kal ka plan hai" :P
Communicate very clearly. You need to get across to him just how upset you are over this, and that you love him and can't get enough of him, that's the only reason why you want some more time with him, not to isolate him from the people he wants to spend time with (my hubby has used this line on me so I know what it feels like. Change takes time). They had him all these years, now let yourself have your fill (until you get bored, ha ha!)
If all else fails, get some really hot lingerie and whipped cream and text him a pick of the goodies you bought saying "Yeh weekend ka plan hai, are you in or out?" ;)
GOOD LUCK, it sounds like you'll need it.
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
^ROFL… seduction always works.
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
yeeaaaahhh...you need to make it known that this effecting you. stop with the "lols." your married and you should be able to portray your feelings, i personally feel like your letting him take advantage of your niceness. sobbing yourself to sleep while your husband is out till crazy hours of the night, NOT OK or acceptable in my book. and i agree no third party involvement UNLESS your efforts fail to make him understand then you need to speak up. that is not fair to you. if you didnt want to commit to a marriage, you wouldnt of picked up and moved out of your parents comfortable home to sleep in an empty house. you need to be brutally honest with him, he fails to realize his commitments and abc just makes me want to punch him in the face.
Re: husband spending less time with me than his friend
Does this guy ABC have kids? Things might change once he has kids. My husband also had this best friend from a conservative background whom he met during the weekends and even when we had plans, my husband would be in a hurry to get everything over with just to be with this guy. I think it was also because my husband did not want to show his friend that he was "henpecked" or "listened to his wife" etc. So things did not change for us once we had a child but when my husband's friend started having kids things did not change completely but started to become slowly better.
We then moved to another state and I thought things would be super, but you know what, nothing changed much. My husband was with me yes, but not in a good mood. At least he would be in a good mood when he had met his friend. Later he made more friends here whom he sees once a week for a few hours and that puts him in a good mood. He would meet these friends more often if he could, I know, but they themselves have their own family commitments.