Husband in control of finances

[Paheli00]

Re: Husband in control of finances

@pakigirl33

Yes I have a credit card that i can use when I want to so like if i go to get my eyebrows done or go to get milk or diapers i can use it, but not if i wanted to go buy lets say clothes or shoes i would have to ask him first otherwise he gets upset and there is tension in the house which i hate.

Ok…so he does not control your spending 100%. You are still free to spend someone your self (things like eyebrows) and you can buy groceries/diapers without consulting him.

I feel like an idiot here but I still don’t understand this. Did your husband specifically tell you that you MUST ask him for his permission before buying clothes and shoes? Let’s say you went out tomorrow and bought 1 pair of shoes for your child…how would your husband know? Would you see that charge on the credit card and ask you what you spent it on? OR do you go up to him and say “hey honey look what I bought today”?

@pakigirl33

So I always ask him first, and if he thinks it is not necessary he would say something like iski kya zarorat hai or he will say marzi hai tumhari but I think you don’t need it so that makes me feel awkward enough not to buy.

I don’t know about other women here but those responses from my husband would not bother me and stop me from buying something. By saying the things in bold, he’s not preventing you from buying it. He’s sharing his opinion that it’s not needed but is leaving the final decision up to YOU (ie. marzi hai tumhari). Now if YOU are choosing not to buy b/c YOU feel awkward by his comment…whose fault is that? If he doesn’t think it’s something you need, do you want him to lie to you? I’m sorry but in these particular responses, the issue is with you and your lack of self-esteem/self-worth when it comes to money.

This guilt you feel about spending money b/c you don’t work…after 5 YEARS of marriage is a bit silly frankly. You guys are a family. You both are partners in making this family work. That money belongs to both of you and until YOU start believing it…your money problems will continue.