In my opinion a husband can;t be ur friend ever. U can’t never tell him abut his family faults or even his mistakes. Because he never like or bear to hear abut it.
whereas a girl always not only listen but also bears. She even become a friend for his partner.
wt do u think?
Re: husband/friend
Generalization.Not all are like that.
Re: husband/friend
zeeny, you are just talking abt urself, otherwise it doesnt happen always !
Re: husband/friend
A husband can become a good friend. In fact that is what makes the marriage bloom. Otherwise whats the point in tying yourself to somebody and boiling your blood for the rest of your life.
As for complaints, he must listen. You are not making it up, and no body is free of faults. Complaining doesn't mean to create bad blood. It means you want to straighten things up.
Re: husband/friend
not all r alike!
Re: husband/friend
my experience has taught my one thing ..
U cant tell them everything ! no matter how healthy and friends kind of relationship u have ...
jabb appni assliyat par aate hein, kisi ko bhi ney chortey ...
Re: husband/friend
Generalisations...
Many a man longs for a womans gentleness to come into his life for a woman can smooth out the years of rough living and hell and high water marks.
A good woman can become a friend and a true soulmate for her Husband and a husband should stick by her no matter what. A good woman will be quick to calm her Husband and soothe his pains.
At least thats how i have found life... i live by old ways and i am a simple person who likes to keep things very simple and quite literally to a point sharper than a razor edge. However a good Wife will also teach her Husband how to live.
All my life i have been ready to die, to throw away my life at the word of command... to live for those whom i love and protect what i value, destroy that which i do not.
Only now as a married man can i even start to live... perhaps i can put away years of pain, and perhaps find a new life.
Re: husband/friend
Not everyone is like that...I think its very important that your husband becomes ur friend before marriage...so that after marriage you are not gonna feel like you are walking on thin ice when there is a problem you need to discuss.
In my opinion a husband can;t be ur friend ever. U can't never tell him abut his family faults or even his mistakes. Because he never like or bear to hear abut it. whereas a girl always not only listen but also bears. She even become a friend for his partner. wt do u think?
I have SEEN and HEARD Desi women get very upset when their husbands complain/ridicule their (the wives') parents and siblings. So, you're wrong, not every Desi woman put up with it. Does that make her "less" of a friend?
Speaking of "friends" in general. Think about all the close friends you have in your life. How many of them will be completely okay with hearing about their family's faults??? Keep in mind that "family" is a sensitive issue for many people and they can be pretty defensive about it.
Another thing to consider is the WAY in which you are expressing your complaints. Maybe you express your concerns in a tactless way. Perhaps you're not careful with your words...or you're always bringing up the negative points and not the positive ones...or maybe your suggestions that don't involve mutual cooperation/compromise. Your in-laws have been the way that they are for so many years, that they're not going to change.....and the complaining might not be doing any good. So, you try to think of other more constructive solutions.
If not being able to tolerate someone complaining about your parents makes you "less" of a friend...then how much of a "friend" is the person who may be expressing their concerns in an offensive manner? Not much.
Re: husband/friend
Spouse is spouse and friend is friend . One shouldn't mix both .
In my opinion a husband can;t be ur friend ever. U can't never tell him abut his family faults or even his mistakes. Because he never like or bear to hear abut it. whereas a girl always not only listen but also bears. She even become a friend for his partner. wt do u think?
false.
Re: husband/friend
Ahaa bhai jaan Allah bless you, any Islamic references on this matter...?
Let the Koran and Sunnah be the judge of everything... at least that way there would be a lot less mess of things.
A husband can become a good friend. In fact that is what makes the marriage bloom. Otherwise whats the point in tying yourself to somebody and boiling your blood for the rest of your life.
As for complaints, he must listen. You are not making it up, and no body is free of faults. Complaining doesn't mean to create bad blood. It means you want to straighten things up.
I second every single word .. .. .. he can be .. ..
Re: husband/friend
husband & Wife can never be friend well they can before shadi and like first few months but after a year or so unless one of you robot , fights or arguments and then differences most of the people do spend life long time together married but I personally think 20% spend it as a friend.
It is natural to feel every thing will be perfect when you either engaged or going out with some one its like PRE honey moon dreaming period in my opinion far from reality.
Re: husband/friend
They can be friends but even your friends will not like to listen to you complain about their parents.
Re: husband/friend
Husband wife can be best friends.
What's the need to complain all the time in the first place? And anyway if I have a pressing issue I do mention it to my hubby and if he does, he lets me know (about our families). In fact if he found out I was saying bad things about his family to my other friends, that might actually hurt his feelings and I'd lose credibility.
Re: husband/friend
I can tell my husband anything. I'm very honest and open and never hold anything bad. If I have a legitimate complaint/concern...he will hear it. He also does the same. We dont sugar coat anything...and we like it that way
Re: husband/friend
hi, i just post the hypothesis.
I hv seen mostly in lower and midle class. the clash between husband and wife is mainly due to this thinking that daughter in law(bahu) can't be a daughter for their susral.
Whereas in sensible and educated family, they treat like thier own daughter and husband always try to cooperate his wife.
So the general view i post is abut lower class even middle class also.
Re: husband/friend
oh come on, if i want fashion advice or talk about fashion or cooking or whatever, i'm gonna talk to someone else about it. Simple as that.
Re: husband/friend
Yeah i am happy to see all the post against my point , changing the mind of the poeple.
excpt honey who has said:
my experience has taught my one thing ..
U cant tell them everything ! no matter how healthy and friends kind of relationship u have ...
jabb appni assliyat par aate hein, kisi ko bhi ney chortey ...
that wt i said exactly? honey also agree i think abut 50%