I didn't read all the posts but few and answering.
In my opinion. For whatever reason he wants you to do something good. Good for this life and life after this.
That lady is lucky lady warna to kuch husband aisay bhi hotay hain wo roz lartay hain kay scarf utaar do aur abaya pehanna chor do.
Now think who is lucky the lady whose husband ask her to do good thing or the one who herself does good think and her husband is continuously forcing her to do bad thing.
Aik hadees hai ghalaybun ya undaz e Mustafa Salallaho Alaihi Wassalam.
Muhammad SAWW nain kaha achchay kaam ki aik doosray ko hidayat karo aur buray kaam say roko.
Achchay kaam ko ranay kay liaay kahnay say bhi barabar ka sawab mil jata hai to free ka sawab huwa na.
That lady can ask him too if she wants but it's not necessary.
Jub itnay salon kay baad kahna shuru kia hai to zaroor koi na koi wajah ho gi aisay hi thori kah raha hai. Akhir wife ka wo dushmun to ho ga naheen. Agar dushmani main bhi karay to bhi wife kay liaay achcha kar raha hai.
Wo kahtay hain na. "naik kaam main dair kis baat ki".
Dil ho na ho pehan lo shayad Allah dil main shauq bhi paida kar day.
Main agar us wife ki jagah Hoti to khud ko khush qismat samajhti kay aik achcha mashwara denay walay say shadi huwi aur uska hukm forun baja lati kioon is liaay kay.
Allah nain kaha hai quran main kay agar kisi ko Allah kay baad sujday kay liaay ijazat hoti to wo husband ko.