if u came to know that your hubby loved someone before getingg married to u or he is in love with someone after getting married to u.
what will u do?what will u think?how will u cope this situation?
except being hurt and sad…
Re: husband betrayal
Why would you be hurt and sad? It is not like he has run off to her and gotten married to her or he is not married to you.
If the case is that he was in love with someone before, then try to win his heart.
If the case is that he is still in love with someone, then still try extra hard to win his heart.
By being hurt and sad will not solve any problem.
Re: husband betrayal
I agree with Aisha.
Everyone looks for someone to fall in love with. It's just too bad that your spouse was not lucky enough to win his true love, and so he has to settle for the "next" one that came along.
hahahaahahaa
so "if" we are the "second" one to cross his path, then work it out. He or SHE is never going to love the "second" one the way he ever did for the first one.
besides Suhaina, question this to yourself - was your hubby (if married) YOUR first love?
it rarely happens. So make the most of the second BUT a GOOD partner who can give you a better life.
Re: husband betrayal
And now I agree with NJ. As I said do not be hurt and sad and focus on the marriage you have and how to make it even more stronger instead of worrying about the past etc. If there is no such thing to worry about that is.
Re: husband betrayal
This question is pretty weird. I have often observed potential to be wives ask questions like this and then get upset. I mean how do you expect a girl or a guy aged 25+ and never have liked or fallen in love with anyone in their lives ? Seems un-natural is someone aged 25+ says they've NEVER liked or loved someone in their life.
The more important thing to consider is that one should be absolutely faithful to one's spouse after marriage and thats all that matters.
Re: husband betrayal
^true - u read my mind:)
Re: husband betrayal
i know what you mean. my hubby to be always liked me since we were kids, but i liked about 2 other people ( liked not went out with) AND he knows this and although it was difficult for him to understand he did in the end. its normal. unless you had a really bad background, i doubt nowadays youl get anyone saying theyve never liked anyone but their propective hibby/wife...the only reason i believe my fiance is cos his mum and dad told me he was always goin on about me since he was 14, he was in pak, i was in uk, we used to visit at times and even when i wasnt there he would do things for me like post me some dvds, or whatever....so ive alwyas been in his mind...okkk ive gone off topic...what was the question again?{?
Re: husband betrayal
love your humor 
Re: husband betrayal
If my husband was in love with someone else before he married me...I might (big might) be a tad jealous but wouldnt really dwell on it too much.
If he was in love with someone after married me...then I have a problem. I would analyze the situation and see what he is upto. Is he cheating on me? Was he in love when he got married to me? I'll behonest, Im not sure I would have the heart to make the effort to win him.
Re: husband betrayal
^ I agree. What matters is whether or not your husband is committed to you. Most people have a past of crushes and girlfriends/boyfriends. And if he has moved on from his past and sincerely loves you and wants to marry you and is faithful.....that is most important. You don't want to marry someone who does not reciprocate your feelings.
If you're engaged to him and find out that he loves someone else........please break it off. Everyone deserves to be in a **MUTUAL **loving relationship. You don't want to be in a marriage where you are constantly competing with the ghost of his past girlfriend.
It's best to find these things out before marriage. It's easier to break off a loveless engagement than a loveless marriage.
And most importantly, you should love and respect yourself as person.....and never settle for anyone (husband, friend, etc) who can't love and respect you.
Re: husband betrayal
if before hes my hubby. then OVER. What is the point if he's in love with someone else?
If he WAS in love, then it would bother me. I need to be the onenonly fereverandever. I dont believe in multiple loves.
If post wedding. If WAS in love. Would work to get over it. If IS in love then its over. Im kinda a big deal and kinda cool. If hes too much of a rooky to get that, then he's not worth my time.
All of which is easier said than done.
Re: husband betrayal
if he loved someone before he married me, well i mean everyone has loved someone at one point or another
*BUT *
if that jerk is still in love with her, LOL then i'd kick his brown behind out :]
Re: husband betrayal
i m not married was reading an article baout it so posted this thread
i dont know why always wives have to win their hunsbands heart if he involved in some one b4 or after getting married.
he should opologise and feel ashamed of doing such act cuz being in rleation i mean in engament,nikkah,or bat pakki period or being married he indulge with someone which she shouldnt.
Re: husband betrayal
and if u experiance thsi case is it really easy to get out of this relation cuz if u married and got divorce society,yr relatives freinds always blame u for this and made so many fake stories and u find much difficulty to get marry again cuz hardly resonable ppl liek to marrya divorcy
and if u engaged and this happnes an du broke the rishta..
ppl again make stories that hwy this rishta broke..whats wrong and again u find difficulty to find nice rishta for u cuz mostly think that larki main hi kuch masla hoga huh!
Re: husband betrayal
Why would you be hurt and sad? It is not like he has run off to her and gotten married to her or he is not married to you.
If the case is that he was in love with someone before, then try to win his heart. If the case is that he is still in love with someone, then still try extra hard to win his heart.
By being hurt and sad will not solve any problem.
Very well said. Zabardast. Masha Allah.
Re: husband betrayal
i m not married was reading an article baout it so posted this thread
i dont know why always wives have to win their hunsbands heart if he involved in some one b4 or after getting married.
he should opologise and feel ashamed of doing such act cuz being in rleation i mean in engament,nikkah,or bat pakki period or being married he indulge with someone which she shouldnt.
LOL very buchkana soach. If you have problem with his past uncontrolalbe emotion then it's not his problem but yours. Why you bother about his past? Forget past not only yours but others too. Allah is there to deal with the ppl pasts.
If after marrying you he falls in love with someone then you have to worry about that as there might be some reason because of you or his own nature. Then you have to work it out. As for him it's easy to fall in love and leave you or divorce you but it would be bad for you in all way no matter if you are responsible for anything or not as socity will ALWAYS blame you for that and no one would ever want to marry you. So who gets the problem THE GIRL. So to make the things right whose main problem is THE GIRL'S. So she has to win his heart otherwise bad for her.
Boys don't get any problem even after having 100 or 1000 love affair after knowing that many girls and girls family would want him to marry her or their daughter but no one would want to marry a divorcy girl.
It's very simple to understand. Chahay kharbooza churi pay giray ya churi kharboozay pay katna baharhaal kharboozay nain hi hota hai. Churi kabhi kharboozay say naheen kut kay tukray hota. lol Yaqeen naheen ata to practicle kar kay daikh lain churi aur kharboozay ka.
Girls are always and will remain kharboozay. No matter what they do they won't ever become CHURRY. Some might be chappan churi but won't be good enough for chappan chura.
and if u experiance thsi case is it really easy to get out of this relation cuz if u married and got divorce society,yr relatives freinds always blame u for this and made so many fake stories and u find much difficulty to get marry again cuz hardly resonable ppl liek to marrya divorcy
and if u engaged and this happnes an du broke the rishta..
ppl again make stories that hwy this rishta broke..whats wrong and again u find difficulty to find nice rishta for u cuz mostly think that larki main hi kuch masla hoga huh!
Re: husband betrayal
“win his heart” ?
puhleaseeeeeeeeeeee louise. Is he a prize bull? If you win his heart can you make it into a keema and have a kebab-fest?
Ladies, post 35 you will all look the same, most of your husbands will be generally unattractive.. we all melt into middle age and youth doesn’t do you-turns. Don’t sell yourselves short.
Sacrifices are romantic exclusively in novels (no doubt scribed by ye-olde-time-emo’s).
Be happy.
Have fun.
and spread the love with like minded individuals. Getting oneself entangled in such heaps of complicated degoratoryness is such an unnecessary headache.
no?
Re: husband betrayal
This is a common problem amongst many married couples I know and there is a very easy way to differentiate between the ones that suffer due to a partners past and the ones that just move on.
If the hubby (lets assume its him with the past as it normally is!) had prior relationships but makes you feel like you are the only woman in the world...nothing in the past matters.
If a hubby is cold and doesn't make an effort in the relationship, then thats when the problems arise. The wife begins to feel jealousy and resentment towards those past women who gained all his love and attention when it should have been her. I have heard the line from men saying "its all in the past, at least I am not cheating on you" but believe me, a woman who feels neglected and unloved does feel cheated..not cheated on but cheated out off the opportunity to also feel his love.
This might be hijacking this post but I also want to pose a question:
Why do some men date loads of girls (or just date) and do all those romantic things with those girls but when they get married they stop?
Re: husband betrayal
I don't understand why people are saying it's not a big deal. I really do think it is a big deal if one's husband is in love with someone from his past. If it was 'was' then its fine.
But if he married you despite being in love with someone else, then he is wrong and you are in an unfair situation. Whether he is physically cheating on you is the second issue. The first is that loves someone else.
The solution? Sorry, but I don't know....I hope you do get some more practical advice.
Personally, in this case, I really would not have the desire to 'win' him over if he is in love with someone else.
Re: husband betrayal
I would also like to add that the word "betrayal" is being used incorrectly in this thread.
A betrayal takes place when one has been dishonest or has cheated on you.
Everyone has a past. Even wives might have had crushes or boyfriends in the past. And it's not an obligation for one to share their past relationships with their spouse unless it jeopardizes the marriage.
IF.....your husband is being FAITHFUL to you and sincerely and wholeheartedly loves you....then there is NO BETRAYAL in this situation. And if a wife STILL gets upset about his past flames......then she's having insecurity/jealousy issues.
IF the husband DOES NOT sincerely love his wife....and is still hung up over an ex-girlfriend OR if he entered the marriage knowing full well that his heart belongs to someone else.....then that is betrayal, deception, cowardice.