A betrayal takes place when one has been dishonest or has cheated on you.
Everyone has a past. Even wives might have had crushes or boyfriends in the past. And it's not an obligation for one to share their past relationships with their spouse unless it jeopardizes the marriage.
IF.....your husband is being FAITHFUL to you and sincerely and wholeheartedly loves you....then there is NO BETRAYAL in this situation. And if a wife STILL gets upset about his past flames......then she's having insecurity/jealousy issues.
IF the husband DOES NOT sincerely love his wife....and is still hung up over an ex-girlfriend OR if he entered the marriage knowing full well that his heart belongs to someone else.....then that is betrayal, deception, cowardice.
hmmmmmm... just cutting time here RV:)
so what if the girl "saves" herself, thinking her prince charming will come minus any ex-princesses ever! ... but the prince being a prince - ofcourse arrives, but has a past.
So is this a form of betrayal to a girl who "saves" herself? (phor nuttin :( )
so what if the girl "saves" herself, thinking her prince charming will come minus any ex-princesses ever! ... but the prince being a prince - ofcourse arrives, but has a past.
So is this a form of betrayal to a girl who "saves" herself? (phor nuttin :( )
Masti,
If a girl "saves" herself.....that's no guarantee that the guy she marries has also "saved himself". People make mistakes and succumb to their weaknesses.
Just because a girl has no past......is no guarantee that the boy will also have "no past".
BUT.....the MOST IMPORTANT thing that a guy can do AFTER marriage.....is to give his wife sincere faithful love and respect. That's what matters most.....(regardless of his past).
If he can't be faithful after marriage.....then that is a betrayal.
And it's hard to determine who has "saved themselves" and who has not. With our conservative culture....most people feel uncomfortable revealing their past.
One has to make a choice.....what matters most? The past or the present?
it is hurtful if your hubby has been in love with someone else before they married.....come on we're women and have a suspicious nature and love to jump to conclusions, so we love getting vexed about these things....whether something happened between them or not
i wound my hubby up for years...there was a girl in his neighbourhood who was obsessed with him...he was crazy about me so he turned her away, he told me all about it, but i always reminded him and always said to him you best not go back to PK and have a fling with her( i know he wouldn't).. however kismat has it that on our last visit to Pakistan she passed away...sad but true....and i joked with my hubby ke mein jo kaam karne aayi thi woh ho gaya...
oops gone off the topic...sorry
Once your husband is married to you, he needs to make an effort to move on and be faithful, caring, compassionate towards you regardless of who he was in love with and whatever happened. I don't agree that the woman should have to make all the efforts to win him and all that. What about him realizing his responsibilities towards his wife? How many husbands will try to 'win' their wives heart if they found out she is missing, dreaming and fantasizing about someone else? Why does the wife need to suffer to get him to be loyal and to give her attention? It's her right by default because Islam tells you to care for your wife like no other. If he's so in love with someone else, he shouldn't even have gotten married to begin with. If he is, for whatever reason, then he needs to grow up and be a good husband. Such crap not only ruins lives and marriages, it's also highly disliked in Islam.
I don't understand why people are saying it's not a big deal. I really do think it is a big deal if one's husband is in love with someone from his past. If it was 'was' then its fine.
But if he married you despite being in love with someone else, then he is wrong and you are in an unfair situation. Whether he is physically cheating on you is the second issue. The first is that loves someone else.
The solution? Sorry, but I don't know....I hope you do get some more practical advice.
Personally, in this case, I really would not have the desire to 'win' him over if he is in love with someone else.
even i was wondering why mostly people are saying that its realy not matter to them may b they really dont mind and care about it or havent experiance betrayal from hubbies so they are saying this
but trust me u really mind if u experaince betrayal or cheating from hubbies .because u being loyal and faithful to them if u want u can do all thsi as well can involve to anyother man at any time but u kept being honest to him and he some how didnt so thats hurts!!!