Starting as an occasional drinker means, soon he would end up being a heavy drinker, and if you have kid/s, then i believe, a mother should be worried about her kids, as being around someone who drinks means, the chances are very likely that, the kids too would start drinking once grown-ups.
I would leave him because alcohol is one of the only deal-breakers for me. Call me a hypocrite or what not but it's something I draw the line at. I don't want my kids to even THINK it's okay to take a sip of that stuff. Ever. It's the same reason (leaving religious reasons aside) that I dress modestly, try to pray on time, etc. I want my kids to SEE that and think that THAT'S normal and acceptable.
I don't think i would go as far as a divorce. I mean I can't only think about myself. I need to let my parents have that piece of mind that I am happy with my husband no matter what's going on. Also, if in general, he is a good-hearted person and kind, I may overlook his social drinking. I would however NEVER let him drink in front of my children. If he does, we will have to live in separate homes.
I would first try to put myself together, ask Allah for guidance. I would then soften my heart and ask him to try quitting as it’s not good for his health and good become a dangerous habit. You dont go for divorce .
Since OP did not want a religious angle brought to this - I dont see a problem. Drinking in moderation is probably less harmful than smoking.
To those who dont drink, more power to you and much respect. But a drink once in a while is nothing to be concerned about. In fact making it a taboo can proabbly do more harm to offsprings.
^ Some can do things in moderation. A person who when having a drink has to drink "till he drops" meets the definition of an alcoholic and should definitely stay dry.
^ Some can do things in moderation. A person who when having a drink has to drink "till he drops" meets the definition of an alcoholic and should definitely stay dry.
YuN tu Angoor ki baytii nay Utha rakhi hai SaR pe duniya
yea tu acha hova - Angoor ko bayta na hoVa
:D
in moderation - one should drink an orange juice - vo bi without vodka :)
its not good .. but these days majority of paksitani guys are drinking .. even coming from families where their father never touched alcohol in his whole life .. so what can u do ? .. if ur already married divorce is a little extreme is it not ?
Not sure how many members on this Forum are Muslims, but alcohol is a BIG deal for Muslims. It's totally unacceptable. In fact, even sitting on a table where alcohol is being served is sinful.
The Prophet SAW said: *“Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not sit at a table where wine is being drunk.” *
Khair, the point is...
You have to do something, really, you DO! It's not something you can just overlook and be like, "Oh, it'll pass away with time." I think you should advice him gently to stop and if he doesn't listen, then have a talk with elders in your family to try to talk to him and sort this out.
And, for you, please, you know he is right when he says you don't pray 5 times a day and don't wear hijab. Both of these are FARDH, there's no two way about it. It's not an option. So, for the sake of yourself, for the sake of your husband, and most importantly, for the sake of Allah, please you have to start praying 5 times a day and wear proper hijab, sister!
I mean, even if he wasn't drinking, you still should be wearing hijab and praying because that's something you will be asked about. The sin is on you for that, not him. Insha'Allah, ponder upon this as life is too short to disobey Allah like this.
dealbreakers: abuse, drugs/alcohol (I'm sorry but I put alcohol --even occasional use--in the same category as drug usage. "i only smoke pot sometimes" = "i only drink sometimes")
re: praying on time leaving aside religious reasons...that came out wrong. I meant that I try to do things not ONLY because they're required but becuase it's also important to show your kids that. If my parents didn't pray 5 x a day, I probably wouldn't either. Prayinga t my house is normal , it's a part of our routine. I dont' want Alcohol to ever become "normal" in my life, occasional or not. I abhorre it and I would hope that I can raise my kids so that they aren't tempted by it either.
You do not pray regularly which is Farz on you being a muslim. You do wrong.
he drinks, which is declared Haram. he is doing wrong.
How about if you start praying, realise your duties, straighten your path, and ask him to do the same thing in return? In future you will have kids, i hope you intend to give them a good tarbeeyat.
I'm with Nadeemnirvana and LucyMay on this. If you take religious out of the equation, which the OP herself did, then drinking alcohol within reason is not harmful.
Nadeemnirvana is spot on about kids who binge drink, these are the kids that are made to believe alcohol is a big no no until 21 when magically it's OK for them to drink. Kids in Europe have wine at the table with their family in their early teens, they are used to knowing about alcohol and HOW to consume alcohol and thus the significantly fewer alcohol related issues with kids there.
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