I sometimes end up hurting people that I love alot. I dont mean to do it but at that time I be so upset with them that I say things I shouldnt have said.
For example, last night I couldnt get in contact with my fiance, so I sent some texts and i said something mean when he switched his phone on in the morning to text me, he read my texts and got really hurt we then talked on the phone and i said to him “I dont want to talk to you again” I didnt mean it -it just came out and he asked me once again to confirm that he had heard right and i said “yes”. He started crying and after saying I have really hurt him, he put the phone down. I felt so bad later on we talked and made up but he told me he cried alot…because he doesnt care if anyone else says things to him (which i did by text)…but if i say it then it hurts him.
even now that we have made up …Im still upset. how can i hurt him when he’s so sweet and would never do the same to me and he cares so much about everyone cuz thats his nature.
how do i stop myself saying meany things when im upset/angry etc.? things that I know that i dont mean at all (even at the time im saying them)…how can i stop saying things i dont mean so in the future i dont hurt anyone
Impulse, when we are mad, our thinking abilities get compromised. That’s why they say, drink some water when you are mad, that wud cool you down, leave the argument, if you fear you may say bad things. It’s basically trying to control our bad side, what Shaitan loves to ignite. Remember to say, Lahol at that point, drink water and try not to respond at that very moment when you are upset.
I know it’s easy said than done. When we are upset, we probably have some reason and we may feel justified and want the other person to nullify our doubts and misunderstanding but in the process we end up hurting ourselves and the other person more, since we did not take a rational approach. All I can say is try to control your anger in future, try to analyze the situation and try to delay your response, if possible, and don’t forget to pray to God that he may guide you and gives you better control over your emotions next time. Good Luck:flower1:
Impulse
we all say things that we dont mean,
next time sumthing like this happens, instead of saying n e thing mean, just say i need to to get in touch with me, and then just leave it, when he see;s his fone he will then, and he wont see n e thing hurtful,
I use to have the most terrible temper on face of this earth. Whenever i am mad i do forget who am i talking to and what am i saying.
When I got to college slowly and slowly i worked on my temper. Now when i am mad I either tell the person i am not speaking with you now and we will talk later. Becuase i know they have done enough damage to me bay saying something rude and i am going to make sure i do take revenge. So instead i would either hang up the phone or tell that person we will talk later and go away. Come back and talk after few hours or few days. Thats when i usually calm down.
try that anytime you are angry just stop yourself from saying anything
impulse one more thing.. your guy must love you.. appreciate him! A guy who cries in front of a woman.. that woman should know he is going to be around for a long time...
he seems really sweet and you hardly find guys like these nowadays! learn to appreciate him and respect him. If you are mad - take deep breath and count to 10, and just do not respond, do it for his sake and just turn away from the situation xx
i’m sick of ppl who have no regard for another’s feelings, as if they’re justifying being a jerk…the “bad temper” excuse is just crap, these ppl r selfish.
So am I sara. if u want an example, i can even give it to u.
But she didn’t say what mean thing she said…maybe it wasn’t THAT mean. At least she feels bad and wants to change. There are people out there who will literally … u over with their temper and not even feel bad!!! Trust me, i’ve been through it.
I also have a horrible temper, but only when i’m provoked and i bet u do too. har insan ki aik bardasht hoti hay..aur samnay wala ko khayal karna chahiyay keh kisi ki bardasht kahan khatam hoti hay :)!!!
I have so much more to add ..maybe some other time when i’m feeling down!!
when/if angry best thing is to go somewhere where u can be alone and try to calm down. think over things and try to be rational / logical.kiyoun apna khoon jalana hai? i don't have any temper. infact i hardly get angry / upset over anything [sad YES but upset/angry NO]. i think thats how i am.
There have been so many times where I feel as if i can easily beat someone to a pulp and not even care.. like blood boiling-mad.. but I dont curse and scream and yell and take it out on someone who doesn’t deserve it..I take my agression out on gupshup
this “bad temper” thing is very khatarnaak.. whether you mean it or not, the damage is done and you cant take it back.. I am so sick of ppl who are assholes and then don’t care, theyu blame the other person for being too sensitive or whatever.. and even if they don’t mean it, like i said, the damage is done.. you say to a person enough that “ur ugly/patheitc/stupid/dumb/i’m leaving you” and it will slowly kill them.. :no:
sara, u r absolutely right!! i agree with you 100% that even if u don’t mean it, things like u’re ugly and i’m leaving will kill you slowly. i think keh samnay wala nazron say gir jaata hay…har rishtay mayn aik lihaz hona chahiyay.
but, i also think that if this happens sometimes..like rarely…and the person saying such mean stuff apologizes and feels bad and makes up, its ok :). but making it a habit, saying such stuff at every single argument will harm the relationship.
If i write the things here that were said to me that caused me to end my relationship, u’ll be shocked!!! But when they were said to me, mayn bardasht kargaya…sab seh gaya…chup ho kar roliya..but in the long run it caused the end to our relationship. and even though the relationship has ended, the anger inside of me caused by this one person is immense!!! and has scarred me for the rest of my life!!
when he switched his phone on in the morning to text me, he read my texts and got really hurt 
and he asked me once again to confirm that he had heard right and i said “yes”. He started crying and after saying I have really hurt him, he put the phone down. I felt so bad 
and i bet u do too. har insan ki aik bardasht hoti hay..aur samnay wala ko khayal karna chahiyay keh kisi ki bardasht kahan khatam hoti hay :)!!!
