Okay....so.....just because a child is a fisherman or laborer makes him/her ready for marriage? Just because the child earns a living......or is adept in handling domestic chores (cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc)........makes them ready for marriage? Being able to handle a job and chores around the house does not necessarily mean that the person ALSO has the emotional and mental maturity for marriage. You seem to think that biological (reproduction) and physical capabilities (labor, etc) are all that one needs to get hitched. Not, so.
yes it is, because the MATURITY standard is man made and is not perfect. We dont let them grow up with that expectation. In old times, girls were raised with the expectation that when they hit puberty, they will get married and that system was working fine till we changed it for no good reason.
A marriage certificate does not make a teen mother or father more capable of looking after their child. Since we're using examples in the US, given the lowering marriage rate and increasing divorce rate - the marriage certificate is just as meaningless paper - since the success of a relationship cannot be correlated to proper upbringing of a child.
yes it is, because the MATURITY standard is man made and is not perfect. We dont let them grow up with that expectation. In old times, girls were raised with the expectation that when they hit puberty, they will get married and that system was working fine till we changed it for no good reason.
yes it is, because the MATURITY standard is man made and is not perfect.
*One could even argue that if scientists have discovered that cognitive abilities are not fully developed during adolescence (medical methods)......then this can also be seen as "a part of nature".........and not something that's "man made." *
We dont let them grow up with that expectation. In old times, girls were raised with the expectation that when they hit puberty, they will get married and that system was working fine till we changed it for no good reason.
Were there many options for women back then? Could there have been other reasons for early marriages such as security, building alliances, financial motives?
Would you marry a 9-year-old girl? Would you raise your daugther from the get-go with expectation that when she hits puberty........she will be married off? Would you get your 9-13 year old daughter married?
Sure advanced age is not a guarantee that a relationship will be successful, but at least older age and maturity will allow the individuals to make informed and thoughtful choices. Whereas, if a kid were to marry, he lacks life skills and experiences which is a bigger strike against the viability of the relationship and raising children born of that relationship.
To your other point on comparing the labourers and fishermen - that is physical labour - not a cognizant act requiring decisions involving emotional judgement. So yes, apples to oranges again.
Societal expectations have changed pal, at least in the modern countries. Sure you can get your kid hitched at 12-13, sure they'll have kids, sure the kid would be a little fisher boy. But will he be a good father when he himself is still a child? will the girl be able to take care of a house, kids, husband etc. will she even know what the helmet she is supposed to do? third world countries remain third world countries because of such practices. Can't have kids running around making more kids with education no where in sight.
I hope you're not itching to marry a 10 - 13 year old girl MK...because if thats the case...good luck trying to have a successful marriage like that.
The thing is, I dont think of marriage as something of a mandate...a punishment...or even something that is meant for everyone. Some people are not cut out for it.
If you will go to the trouble of getting married...it should be a good experience. It should be enriching...satisfying...happy. There will be issues of course but husband-wife should be mature enough to fix them. The idea behind marriage is not simply to reproduce like rabbits. Its companionship.
A 13 year old girl will not listen to your reasoning...she will go to her mummy papa and that will be the end of it. A 13 year old girl might resent you in today's society if she ends up bearing your children before she is ready because she didnt know better. A 13 year old girl doesnt even drive a car, wear makeup, pay bills, go to college, etc etc etc.
A 35 year old man has graduated, is working professionally, probably has a house of his own, pays his bills, takes care of his parents and now will be taking care of his wife.
What could he possibly have to talk about with a gum-snapping pre-teen that twirls her hair and just discovered lip gloss?
Financially, you could probably help her quite a bit but then you could also help a widow with three children and get even more sawab for it. Why arent you jumping all over that one?
In my humble opinion, they are bogus and serve no purpose. 18 years for a girl or a boy to get married only causes problems. Dating, teenage pregnancies, date rapes and what not. I have not seen much benefit coming out of setting that age as a hard limit.
**Biologically speaking, a girl as young as 9 or 10 and boy at 12 – 13 are ready to get married. **No other specie but humans set a non-biological limit to copulate. I see it very unnatural.
I am not saying that they should get married at that age, all I am saying is that they are ready and we should accept that if it happens, and do not look down on it as child molestation.
I think the human standards of adulthood came out of economical need. A couple where boy is 12 and girl is 9; how will they support themselves in this competitive world without having secured finances (a job, business, investment).
But a couple where a guy is much older than the girl (ahem, lets say 13 years old girl and 35 years old guy) should be ok cause guy can support the family. On the flip side, 13 years old guy and 35 years old girl can only work if girl is working and ready to support.
Your 2 cents!!
(please do so without throwing derogatory terms like pervert or such at me) I had enough of your politeness and that is why took a long break to cool down.
But isn't it dangerous for a girl that young to give birth?? How thew heck is the 9/10 yr-old girl going to push a baby out easily if her pelvis isn't fully developed..
The thought of getting my daughter married even at 25 is blurred with emotions because of the fear that she will be leaving me. And to answer your question, I am not advocating that girls should get married at that age, I am just questioning the standards of adulthood.
Social skill is are an acquired art. Skills comes first or the responsibility to develop those skills? I believe that you wont develop the skills if the need is not there, just like cavemen did not have a need to develop certain social skills. Point again is, given the responsibilty and guidance, a 13 years old can develop those skills.
where did I say that people should stop educating themselves if they got married at young age? What education (or lack of it) has to do with what age you are getting married at?
I usually ignore the whole post if it starts with a personal attack.
^All that link shows is a list of the youngest mothers on record, nothing about possible complications or how many of them had easy or diffiicult births.. Here is the info in black and white:
If you seriously think it would be a positive thing for 9 and 10yr-old girls to make babies u need ur head examining imo.. Apart from problems giving birth I’m sure a lot of girls would end up suffering injuries to their internal organs like this:
(I wonder if life expectancy for women would also decrease as a result.. )
I usually ignore the whole post if it starts with a personal attack.
You can ignore all you like MK...that wasnt a personal attack. It was a question...I dont know who you are, your plans, if you're married, have kids or not, etc. If the idea of marrying girls off from 9 and up is right then you wouldnt have taken offense to that.
How to explain to people that even though child marriages have happened, that its not necessary it happens again? How to tell people that since we are so intelligent, we are also expected to use our own mind to make some judgement calls too?
Do you think a 9 year old understands sex? If it were to happen, do you think it would be consentual? If its not consentual, what would that be called? It doesnt matter if its her husband, its considered rape.
The link you gave of the 5 year old child giving birth...did you read the entire page? Her father was suspected for child abuse. Same with the 6 year old. Most of the fathers are listed as UNKNOWN or the girls are victims of rape.
MK, if these are your examples...your argument is weak. Very weak.
