In my humble opinion, they are bogus and serve no purpose. 18 years for a girl or a boy to get married only causes problems. Dating, teenage pregnancies, date rapes and what not. I have not seen much benefit coming out of setting that age as a hard limit.
Biologically speaking, a girl as young as 9 or 10 and boy at 12 – 13 are ready to get married. No other specie but humans set a non-biological limit to copulate. I see it very unnatural.
I am not saying that they should get married at that age, all I am saying is that they are ready and we should accept that if it happens, and do not look down on it as child molestation.
I think the human standards of adulthood came out of economical need. A couple where boy is 12 and girl is 9; how will they support themselves in this competitive world without having secured finances (a job, business, investment).
But a couple where a guy is much older than the girl (ahem, lets say 13 years old girl and 35 years old guy) should be ok cause guy can support the family. On the flip side, 13 years old guy and 35 years old girl can only work if girl is working and ready to support.
Your 2 cents!!
(please do so without throwing derogatory terms like pervert or such at me) I had enough of your politeness and that is why took a long break to cool down.
Biologically, maybe....but mentally and emotionally? no way.
No matter what "logical" or rational arguments are presented....there is nothing right about a 13 year old marrying a 30 something old.
Even though it may go biologically....what about matching each other mentally and emotionally? The wider the age gap (depending on the ages), its highly unlikely for there to be a connection.
Biologically, maybe....but mentally and emotionally? no way.
No matter what "logical" or rational arguments are presented....there is nothing right about a 13 year old marrying a 30 something old.
Even though it may go biologically....what about matching each other mentally and emotionally? The wider the age gap (depending on the ages), its highly unlikely for there to be a connection.
so age difference is your only concern!
Then according to your logic, a 30/30 pair should be mentally and emotionally so synced that they should have an ideal marriage.
and with the same logic, a 13/13 pair should also work if finances are taken care of.
Then according to your logic, a 30/30 pair should be mentally and emotionally so synced that they should have an ideal marriage.
and with the same logic, a 13/13 pair should also work if finances are taken care of.
-I know that was the point you were going to pick up on :)
-Yes, the age difference is a big deal.....age difference becomes less important as one gets older but since we are talking about a 13 and 30 year old, not a 30 and 50 year old where the age difference is less relevant
-Its not always necessary a 30/30 pair can match up, however, match is more likely as opposed to a 13/30 relation
No matter how you put it, just because your'e ready biologically to have sex, doesnt' mean you SHOULD
That’s because a 13 year old boy is very immature compared to a 13 year old girl. It would also look like Begum sahiba ka bacha if he goes out with her. Plus, I don’t think he can fulfil his responsibilities, if you know what I mean . His voice would have just started cracking. He cannot be a good provider for the family.
The 13 year old girl can wear loads of makeup and look bigger for her age.
However, I’d like to the parents who would get their non adult children married off. Now who defines adulthood is your question…yes, society does because of many many factors, not just economics.
^ These are all social taboos that you listed Niksik. They have nothing to do with what nature's law (I wanted to say Allah's law but somehow Life1 crowd is allergic to that word)
Majazi Khuda.
Sara516 mentioned emotional compatibility. You were too quick to dismiss her.
Had you given it further thought, you would have seen that the point was a child of 13 is not fully emotionally developed. Sex is not just a physical act, it also has emotional and psychological consequences which children of that age are ill equipped to handle. Why else do you think teenagers suffer so much through puberty?
Just because something can be done, does not mean it should be done.
OK, let's talk about Allah's law, and nature's law.
Geting married is highly recommended, getting married early is also. Now along with marriage comes responsibility, right? A woman must maintain her home, nurture her children, the man should take care of his family and protect them. Allah has also given us aqal. Now you tell me, can a 13 year old do all that?
All I wanted at 13 was to get married. At 26 I still don't think I'm ready to handle married life and all its responsibilities. There's more to marriage than just sex.
sara, if age difference was such a big deal then nature would've prohibited it. Survival of the fittest is what evolution is based on. No other specie cares about the age difference, but humans. That means that these are human made standards and they are flawed.
I though that Life1 crowd takes sex as a very natural thing. So if nature is allowing your body to go with that, why should it be a problem for us.
Majazi Khuda.
Sara516 mentioned emotional compatibility. You were too quick to dismiss her.
Had you given it further thought, you would have seen that the point was a child of 13 is not fully emotionally developed. Sex is not just a physical act, it also has emotional and psychological consequences which children of that age are ill equipped to handle. Why else do you think teenagers suffer so much through puberty?
Just because something can be done, does not mean it should be done.
a 13 year old can physically perform almost every other task. In 3rd world countries, a 13 years old male is a full fledged labor, farmer, fisherman and all. Its us as a society who assumed that 13 years old is not emotionally mature, and because we treat them as kids, they act as kids. Otherwise there is no medical proof that a 13 years old is not as responsible as 18 years old.
OK, let's talk about Allah's law, and nature's law.
Geting married is highly recommended, getting married early is also. Now along with marriage comes responsibility, right? A woman must maintain her home, nurture her children, the man should take care of his family and protect them. Allah has also given us aqal. Now you tell me, can a 13 year old do all that?
And that is what I said. Its all economics that drive the need of our adulthood age limit. Those societies that live humble lifestyle (basic food and shelter), not only 13 years old kids get married but live a very happy life.
Yeah but we don't live in those societies do we? We are obligated to follow the rules of our society to some extent.
Also, please correct me if I'm wrong but isn't one of Allah's laws to not break the law of the land you live in, even if it is halal? For example, polygamy and marrying a minor is legal in other countries but illegal here....so why would you break the law to have a second wife or marry your daughter to a 30 something year old?
Niks, I can ask you the same question about today's social setup. How do you know that a 25 F/30 M couple is happy? How do you know that they wish they were not in that situation.
Society's norms is not always the right thing. I can guarantee you that someone in your grand parents got married at very young age. You are here, right. so that means that marriage survived well.
Yeah but we don't live in those societies do we? We do have to look at the society around us nor are we exempt from following the rules are we?
Morals aside, isn't one of Allah's laws to not break the law of the land you live in, even if it is halal? For example, polygamy and marrying a minor is legal in other countries but illegal here....so why would you break the law to have a second wife or marry your daughter to a 30 something year old?
lol, so if USA bans 5 time prayers, we should obey the law of the land?
the parents who would get their non adult children married off. Now who defines adulthood is your question…yes, society does because of many many factors, not just economics.
We have mods who are on duty 24/7 that burn posts just so you know. Taubah.