I just told my colleague that I dont hug guys cuz of my belief and religion.
Since he is not working with me in my office and I will be seeing him soon, I know he would greet me by hugging as he always does.
I always try to just give a hand shake but he is kind of emotinal guy and hugs everybody. Thats just the culture here.
So his reaction was like ‘I do respect your decision and bla bla but I just dont understand how a religion can create distances between people…bla bla…’
kind of pissed of reply…and now I am pissed cuz this is so common in the west that ppl try to be openminded and accept other ppls religions etc but when it really matters they are being so narrow minded and discussing every tiny detail of why this and why that.
Now I know for sure that he will discuss this further with me when we meet at the company dinner and I just dont wanna tell him that I dont wanna any na mehram to touch me cuz I love Allah and wanna follow His commands. And also that I dont wanna be punished for my deeds at Judgement Day.
what can I tell him without giving him chance to discuss more???
Chameli... if you allowed him to hug you in the past, you have to allow him to adjust to the fact that now you changed your mind (saying it nicely, people evolve and sounds as though you did). Also, like some comments about Christianity here not meant in meaness but ignorance, when people feel comfortable they say things that sometimes seem like they are being narrow minded when in actuallity they just don't understand the reasons.
I can see how you would fell as though you were insulted, but it doesn't seem like it. He is seeing it as the religion causing a difference in a relationship as you had allowed the hugging in the past.... and now won't because of religion. Just explain what you said here. It sounds rather blunt and somewhat insulting they way you said it here (but you were frustrated so understandable) so you may want to soften it, but you have a legitimate reason so just state it.
[QUOTE]
kind of pissed of reply....and now I am pissed cuz this is so common in the west that ppl try to be openminded and accept other ppls religions etc but when it really matters they are being so narrow minded and discussing every tiny detail of why this and why that.
what can I tell him without giving him chance to discuss more???
[/QUOTE]
and the way I see this... without questions or discussion, there is no learning and he will continue to assume things as oppose to knowing. Why get upset with someone trying to understand your position?? This seems in contradiction to your wish to be understood.
And are you actually guarding your faith by this? why? Shouldn't this be an opportunity for you to share? Or would you prefer that people remain ignorant out of..... what exactly? Pride? Resentfullness? Not sure about the attitude displyed here for someone asking questions about your faith, to me that means an opportunity to reach out as commanded by Quran or Bible.
No I am not trying to be resentfull or pride. I am just irritated at a person who claims to be open minded but when I state something totally different than his views he becomes all emotional and says the religion is causing the distance.
Another collegaue appologized that he didnt think of it himself and made some smileys in the mail to show his understanding.
This other guy is very very emotional about everything.
Maybe you are right. An open discussion will clear things and he might be able to see it from my point of view.
You know, I tend to hug especially when happy, I get impulsive....
... and there was this Muslim man I went to college with... and I knew about the restriction so I was very respectful for 4 yrs and never touched him personally. We used to study together and challenge each other in classes. Just for clarification, he is married with kids, this was absolutely platonic. During our graduation ceremony after I gave the Validictorian speech (so I was flying due to the accomplishment and the fact I got through it without stuttering, lol), he was waiting off stage and I was still so happy, I just went to him and thoughtlessly hugged him... hard... and congratulated him and said I was soooo happy we had made it through. He got this look on his face that I couldn't figure out.... maybe shock, maybe dismay.... Then he says, you know I can't be touched by a women not my wife... I apologized and said I was just so happy, It was impulsive... then he turns to a woman in the background and says... May I introduce my wife...
Just for the record, she is a very good friend today....
Chameli420 > I kind of know how you feel but I think minah_pa is right that an open dialogue might be better especially since he is an emotional person. If you let him hug you in the past, you can explain to him that before you were not aware that it wasn't allowed in your religion but now you are and you would prefer not to hug anymore because you are trying to follow God's commandments...
Chameli: He is not emotional or anything at that moment. He, off course, wants to do what you mentioned yourself; filthy it may sound, but I believe it to be true. Don't let him touch you. Kick him in the nuts when he attempts that at you next time.
in school i always keep a binder with me .. so when ever this freak tried to run-over me .. i put the binder in between .. well, ofcorse after 2-3 times she figured that i wasnt realy comfortable with it so now we have side hug only .. we didnt have no talk or nothing just .. let ur actions speak for u .
I know this girl who wears hijab and we threw her a party, well this other guy whose muslim as well, huggs her and she doesnt mind lol i thought that was a bit awkward but aahhhh whatever floats your boat :D
Yes I am aware that hugging and handshaking etc. are not allowed in Islam, but if you don’t don’t it, it’ll be very hard to get a job or network with people in US or any foreign countries. Allah knows whether someone is doing it on purpose (for pleasure) or just being professional. I know it’s still wrong and doesn’t justify it, but what are you supposed to do when women extend their hand at interviews (supervisors or administrators) or your co-workers hug you when it’s your last day at work and they will miss you? Ofcourse you can politely say “I am sorry I don’t shake hands/hug women” but it sounds gay If you say it’s because of religious reasons, then you have to go into details of why and what not as people get curious. Ab banda karey tou kia karey
if its done by homosexuals for the purpose of sexual satisfaction, then it surely is a big NO NO but arabic traditional greeting, a symbol of brotherly love, has no problems…
if u see that a problem then u shud stop the huggin friends/family on eid and perhaps even stop a father from kissing his children…
What do you mean ? hugging and handshake with member of same gender or opposite gender ?
Former one was always allowed, later one has never been allowed in Islam. Only one can shake hands with mehrams baqi sab ke leye — >:wave:
Millions of People left their homes, property, family and sacrificed their lives just for the sake of Islam in 1947, but we find it hard to obey tiny little commands and we prefer material gains over them. Afreen hai hum pe
Not that I am any better, we are all made of rusty Iron…
Aye ta’er-e lahoti, us rizk se mout achi
Jis rizk se aati ho parwaz main kotahi !
Idealy, Non-muslims should get impressed by composure and etiquettes of Muslims, but when we feel embarrassed following them then what to expect from observers ?.* Hum se tu hamarey gharoon main kaam karney waley eesaye bhi impress nahi hotey our kisi ne kia hona hai *
Armughal- so you are saying that this is an isolated Arab tradition it has nothing to do with Islam ?( I know its just greeting nothing else). They probably are following this tradition from pre Islamic days. right ?
As far as I know Islamic way of greeting is Saying and Handshake with both hands. right ?
.. well, ofcorse after 2-3 times she figured that i wasnt realy comfortable with it so now we have side hug only 
.. we didnt have no talk or nothing just .. let ur actions speak for u .
ouper se tv channels don’t even censor this be-hayaee 
and Handshake with both hands. right ?