Reha
July 18, 2012, 10:44pm
107
Re: Huge fight with husband
Those of you who are bringing Islam as their argument i might remind you, that wife cannot work without the permission of her husband. OP’s husband islamically can prevent her to work and support her parents.
And what is wrong with telling the husband about financial situation of parents. Even men who are sole earners in the family shud share their financial situation with wives, why can’t she do that.
And frankly if the parents are so ashamed of letting damaad know what they are getting from their daughter, they shud not accept anything from her.
Telling husband about finances is not bad. But giving them money through him is not a good idea.
Frankly, its not about shame. Its about privacy and izzat. If you cannot respect your and your wife’s parents…you’ve got bigger issues than this thread.
Reha I based the suggestion from my own experience. My parents aren’t too well off either and we sisters have to help them from time to time. My husband knows their financial situation and is completely okay with me helping them out.
I don’t see why their financial situation must be kept hidden from the husband. In fact if he knows and understands the facts, he will likely also understand the need to help them out. Won’t it be completely bewildering for him if he thinks his in laws are doing just fine, yet his wife continues to give them money every month? Why keep secrets between husband and wife? It only leads to misunderstanding and needless drama.
Plus the damaad knowing about his in-laws money issues doesn’t automatically mean he will humiliate them at every opportunity. In fact he may become more sympathetic to them.
Im not saying HE will humiliate them. I am talking about how THE PARENTS will feel after knowing not only does damaad know but he is the one handing them money every month?
thanks everyone . people have made suggestions to talk to him about my parents financial situation. well first of all i dont want to discuss my family private matters with him. second i dont help my parents every month i help them rarely every 3 to 4v months and not by much. he doesnt know how much money i have so he assumes i have nothing saved. teh big issue is the money that i spent when i wasnt married. like seriously why does he care abt that . and my other sisters are young in schools so they cant help, and he also tells me that teh way i have helped my parents they have to make my other sisters work and help them too, like seriously is that any of his business. such a cheap mentality.ahhh
Shanzai:
he knows whats going on with my money, i told him several times that i have money saved up but i have to pay my tution fees, i think the part is that when we got married he was jobless and he thought that i would have tons of money but when i didnt that made him go @#$FD$T%T%GYGT$. he thinks if i can do so much for my parents why cant i do that for our house too and i used to contribute half my salary when i was working full time but since i am in school an d working part time now so i dont…which he is not happy abt inside and it comes out when we are having an argument.
Tell him its none of his business where that money went. End of discussion.
And I am not sure why you married someone who wasn’t employed and was depending on you to support him.