how to stop loving my husband

[Twinklestar]

how to stop loving my husband

Become a stronger person and take care of your children. Definitely keeping the family together is usually in the best interest of your kids. Your husband probably enjoys the courtship/dating period more than marriage. Can you go dating with your husband again? Could you to restaurants or outings while somebody takes care of your kids? Some men have trouble growing up.

[psyah]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

Whenever you can … send his girlfriend(s) pictures of you and him and your child and say … look this is my family …

Send it on his name to them … they will get the message if he doesn’t.

[GlobalGal]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

@tehzeebranaditta

my darling, I feel your pain. mere shohar ne is saal doosri shaadi ki. I.can't say that I stopped loving him, I just always remind myself that woh kisi aur ki he, meri nahi. when he's in south Africa with ne he's always on watsapp with his second wife, and when he's in Pakistan he doesn't watsapp me. apni zindagi jiyo. yaad rakhiye. aurath jab thak rothi he, than thak kamsor he. stop looking at his phone, show him that it doesn't bother you, then he will get the message. its hard to stop loving your husband, but its easy to become stronger. and please don't have any more children with a man you can't trust. good luck behan.

I think being strong and being able to handle someone you deeply love being with and sleeping with another woman, he has made his other wife, is harder. It's easier said than done but you are actually dealing with it in your life. I'd say you're an inspiration to women in that you are able to rise above jealousy or that pain of seeing him loving and him being intimate with another woman. If I love someone deeply I can only imagine i'll be, to some point, possessive of him because of everything we might have shared including the intimacy. What do you say to yourself or do in order to be strong and be happy for yourself regardless of your husband having another wife?

[Deeba1234]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

@GlobalGal

I think being strong and being able to handle someone you deeply love being with and sleeping with another woman, he has made his other wife, is harder. It’s easier said than done but you are actually dealing with it in your life.** I’d say you’re an inspiration to women in that you are able to rise above jealousy or that pain of seeing him loving and him being intimate with another woman. ** If I love someone deeply I can only imagine i’ll be, to some point, possessive of him because of everything we might have shared including the intimacy. What do you say to yourself or do in order to be strong and be happy for yourself regardless of your husband having another wife?

Am not sure ‘inspiration’ is the right word..

(Not sure why it’s being implied that it’s better to tolerate your husband being with another woman either )

[Reha]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

What do you want from him itsmehere?

Do you want to stay with him or are you trying to find a way out?

Tell us what you want to accomplish first.

[itsmehere]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

i have two kids i will try my best for the sake of my kids but also i am not accepting this all i want to sort it out

[itsmehere]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

i dont think so he has told the girl/girls to whome he chat that he is married.i cant blame other girls as i dont know them personally its my husband whom i know personally and he is the man who is doing this all:(

[itsmehere]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

@Life01

Tell him to stop. Straight out. Tell him that your not going to accept this. He can keep all reasoning to himself, you will not put up with this. If he does not stop chatting and meeting up with these girls you’ll take extreme measures. Yes, that sounds harsh but honestly what his doing is not right either … it does not seem like his up to any good. I may be wrong. Don’t accept his reasoning, it seems like you give in to his arguments and kind off accept what he says..don’t. If he can’t share whatever his doing with his wife then there is obviously something wrong. Let him know that until he does not stop, you will not let this issue go.

i am thinkin now on this point to have a serious talk again and thanx to you and other memebrs all of you guys gave me such points and questions to ask him that can help me out very well.but i am scared too what will happen if he keeps on rejecting my demand:confused:

[itsmehere]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

[quote="Leap_of_Faith"]

now I believe U should continue to trust and Love UR hubby -whaysup or whatsdown under ground does not make much difference there are 1000 other ways to cheat or disguise ---and Trust is more superior than Love ---

thanx for your honest advice i get some point of yours but here to ask how can i deal with it if we are talkin in a good mood & slightly my mood changes when a msg blink on his cell & he turns his face with mobile so that i cant see his phone?is this that easy to ignore?i am thankful to you for this whole lecture and needs some tips about this how to ignore this?he hurts me so much i realy dont want to get upset for him NOW.

[itsmehere]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

@Twinklestar

Get some elders involved like his parents or siblings whom you trust. If you are taking care if all his needs and he still is doing it's Bc of some weakness in his character. make dua and he probably takes you for granted thinking that he needs some outlet from responsibilities .

1st of all i dont trust any siblings of him 2nd i dont wanna create drama its insulting for me as well as for my elder child.no there is no 1 for look after my kids for couple of hours but i do my best for keeping my husband fresh and give him a good atmosphere at home it effects too him.but all in vain when he has to do chit chat he would do whatever .....

[Ethan_Hunt]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

[QUOTE]
how to stop loving my husband
[/QUOTE]

Well, you've come to the right place.

[itsmehere]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

@Ethan_Hunt

Well, you've come to the right place.

hehehehe
but still i am nt able to ......:(

[Pakistani_Prince]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

Im nt like ths situatiön. ALLAH show right path to ur husband. And God bless u

[Leap_of_Faith]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

As I mentioned giving advice is so so easy na --I also mentioned in MOI kay Lecture the most Important are " U and UR Kids" equals a Family held together including the father/Hubby having said that --i also said be Strong to withstand-- I believe Ur being drained out bcz of Frustration-hurt-mistrust-hide & Seek of truth/untruth --First gather all UR Positive energies and don't even think of underestimating urself - UR stronger than anyone------ don't know If ur out of postpartum blues and blues caused by ur hubby attitude ?
I understand it is huge pressure on U -but again U have to Held strong and work this marriage --If someone says there are other Options -NO there are NOT many out there --Same males same issues work what U have in hand and U know him well ---and Ur right don't bring the family into it YET--the Stupid male EGO is SO big and Huge along with" HIS HONOR" but it gets hurt with a little pinch and than U have to Find a HUGE diaper (pamper) to cure Male EGO-another issue to dealt with - now I gave U a lot of signs to look for --if they are going fine than rest assure he is NOT cheating on that level of complexity
change Ur ways of investigating --interrogation --ways of asking --as I said Man are so so egocentric they get frustrated and irritated with little questioning from women --? like she have no right to ask? never show him UR hurt -- anger --frustration be subtle-- calm and if it needs to be played --play on his ground beat him in his own game of hide and seek ---but always have FAITH UR RIGHT and ALLAH is with Righteous --
*I keep emphasizing on Strength --Faith and believe that U can beat the odds against U bcz UR RIGHT --but patience is the virtue and use ur wisdom-instead of EMOTIONS and HURT-those make U weak ---
*
Set some simple loving rules to avoid stressful-hurtful--painful events make them clear to ur hubby in a loving manner even though if U have to fake it baba -look at MOI giving advice like I am the expert in cheating dang--anyway bcz eventually ur frustration-hurt-anger -blues will be perceived by UR kids they can sense what adults can't and it eventually effect them --make that also clear to Ur hubby --Set ur priorities in organized fashion ( and pls don't tell MOI that after lecture I am also giving Home work) U have enough to deal baba ---and all bcz in LOVE it hurts more ---Ur priorities are U + kids --U strong and energized ( not energize bunny ) but if that works on hubby be a energizer honey bunny --who knows--pregnancy --nursing --small child that honey bunny is lost and he is missing all that --( yae yae MOI have no Shammo wammo) --
IF all fails and U know UR hubby well ---well enough of his temper and tantrum --grab a hammer ( not for his head or MOI head dang where is my disclaimer??) and break the damn phone--no whatsup--no whatsdown and tell him go buy another but this is the limit --make sure it is the LIMIT baba again wisdom not emotions---opps MOI got emotional too--wait no hammer --put in boiling water --toilet -something baba U know -play it well so he knows Ur on his field now--

I wish U the best of best --- never underestimate the POWER OF POWER PUFF GIRLS ---WONDER WOMAN-BIONIC WOMAN--CAT WOMAN ( man are sacred of cat woman) if not ---Energizer honey bunny always work ---

Peace --Mercy --Love and harmony be among us the Mankind the creation V know and unknown to us ( ignore that--just brain glitches) ---

[itsmehere]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

@Leap_of_Faith

As I mentioned giving advice is so so easy na --I also mentioned in MOI kay Lecture the most Important are " U and UR Kids" equals a Family held together including the father/Hubby having said that --i also said be Strong to withstand-- I believe Ur being drained out bcz of Frustration-hurt-mistrust-hide & Seek of truth/untruth --First gather all UR Positive energies and don’t even think of underestimating urself - UR stronger than anyone------ don’t know If ur out of postpartum blues and blues caused by ur hubby attitude ?
I understand it is huge pressure on U -but again U have to Held strong and work this marriage --If someone says there are other Options -NO there are NOT many out there --Same males same issues work what U have in hand and U know him well —and Ur right don’t bring the family into it YET–the Stupid male EGO is SO big and Huge along with" HIS HONOR" but it gets hurt with a little pinch and than U have to Find a HUGE diaper (pamper) to cure Male EGO-another issue to dealt with - now I gave U a lot of signs to look for --if they are going fine than rest assure he is NOT cheating on that level of complexity
change Ur ways of investigating --interrogation --ways of asking --as I said Man are so so egocentric they get frustrated and irritated with little questioning from women --? like she have no right to ask? never show him UR hurt – anger --frustration be subtle-- calm and if it needs to be played --play on his ground beat him in his own game of hide and seek —but always have FAITH UR RIGHT and ALLAH is with Righteous –
**I keep emphasizing on Strength --Faith and believe that U can beat the odds against U bcz UR RIGHT --but patience is the virtue and use ur wisdom-instead of EMOTIONS and HURT-those make U weak —
**
Set some simple loving rules to avoid stressful-hurtful–painful events make them clear to ur hubby in a loving manner even though if U have to fake it baba -look at MOI giving advice like I am the expert in cheating dang–anyway bcz eventually ur frustration-hurt-anger -blues will be perceived by UR kids they can sense what adults can’t and it eventually effect them --make that also clear to Ur hubby --Set ur priorities in organized fashion ( and pls don’t tell MOI that after lecture I am also giving Home work) U have enough to deal baba —and all bcz in LOVE it hurts more —Ur priorities are U + kids --U strong and energized ( not energize bunny ) but if that works on hubby be a energizer honey bunny --who knows–pregnancy --nursing --small child that honey bunny is lost and he is missing all that --( yae yae MOI have no Shammo wammo) –
IF all fails and U know UR hubby well —well enough of his temper and tantrum --grab a hammer ( not for his head or MOI head dang where is my disclaimer??) and break the damn phone–no whatsup–no whatsdown and tell him go buy another but this is the limit --make sure it is the LIMIT baba again wisdom not emotions—opps MOI got emotional too–wait no hammer --put in boiling water --toilet -something baba U know -play it well so he knows Ur on his field now–

I wish U the best of best — never underestimate the POWER OF POWER PUFF GIRLS —WONDER WOMAN-BIONIC WOMAN–CAT WOMAN ( man are sacred of cat woman) if not —Energizer honey bunny always work —

Peace --Mercy --Love and harmony be among us the Mankind the creation V know and unknown to us ( ignore that–just brain glitches) —

O thanx a lot dear.i am feeling much much better after reading your post.and looooove your idea of using hammer yes i am gonna try it bcoz i have done all rest(i am very physco kinda female about my looks and i groomed my self more than needed i always been appealing for him and believed husband needs freshness in his wife)
i am now gonna use power of woman:hoonh:
thanx again buddy

[GlobalGal]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

@Deeba1234

Am not sure ‘inspiration’ is the right word..

(Not sure why it’s being implied that it’s better to tolerate your husband being with another woman either )

You can’t force or convince someone to change their ways. It’s something that the man has to do himself. If he’s set in his ways it takes a huge realization within himself that he is hurting his loved one(which is rare), and to take that first step towards change. If he knowingly is making it obvious that he is messaging and flirting with other women and doesn’t care if his wife knows it, then there a certain cruel quality that I can’t figure out. Is it just that he feels more manly because other women want to talk, give him attention, and flirt with him? Instead of making ourselves crazy trying to figure out this attitude, all we can do is adjust and tolerate so our inner peace and happiness isn’t destroyed because of another person’s actions. Our happiness shouldn’t depend on the other person, we live our own lives.

I’m not validating a man being with another woman or messaging/chatting/making love to another woman. If i only speak about myself, i’m still not at that point where I won’t be negatively effected by seeing a man I love with another woman. It’s extreme pain for me personally. No unnecessary pain is what I go by. But since tehzeebranaditta’s husband has a second wife, all i’m asking from her is how she keeps herself strong after seeing a man she loves being with another woman.

[Paheli00]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

@GlobalGal

Instead of making ourselves crazy trying to figure out this attitude, all we can do is adjust and tolerate so our inner peace and happiness isn't destroyed because of another person's actions. Our happiness shouldn't depend on the other person, we live our own lives.

If we should live our own lives & not depend on another person (ie. our spouse in this case) to provide us with a certain amount of happiness......then why adjust to & tolerate a husband who is cheating on his wife & clearly has 0 respect for her or their marriage? Why the need to remain in that marriage if the wife is going to live her own life?

BTW Global, are you married or ever been in a long-term relationship?

[Leap_of_Faith]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

@itsmehere

O thanx a lot dear.i am feeling much much better after reading your post.and looooove your idea of using hammer yes i am gonna try it bcoz i have done all rest(i am very physco kinda female about my looks and i groomed my self more than needed i always been appealing for him and believed husband needs freshness in his wife)
i am now gonna use power of woman:hoonh:
thanx again buddy

here U girl That’s the spirit upbeat" NO BLUES" --now If U love the Idea of Hammer memorize this Filmy Dialogue (action/drama are optional )–when U smash the Phone say "This is what U want? this beautiful family to be like all broken apart -pause/action --No sweetum V r more worth than broken --v r meant to be together (gather broken pieces of phone) United V stand and baby (sweet tone) U can Buy a Phone but where U are going to buy such a beautiful Family (kids and Energizer bunny=U wife) emotion/ action/ curtian down /lights off -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Paheli00]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

Am I the only one here thinking about the possibility of STDs or HIV in a case like this? Am I the only one who would have a HUGE problem being physically involved with a man b/c of safety issues knowing he's also intimate with another woman (and who knows what that woman's health/sexual habits are like)?

[itsmehere]

Re: how to stop loving my husband

@Leap_of_Faith

here U girl That's the spirit upbeat" NO BLUES" --now If U love the Idea of Hammer memorize this Filmy Dialogue (action/drama are optional )--when U smash the Phone say "This is what U want? this beautiful family to be like all broken apart -pause/action --No sweetum V r more worth than broken --v r meant to be together (gather broken pieces of phone) United V stand and baby (sweet tone) U can Buy a Phone but where U are going to buy such a beautiful Family (kids and Energizer bunny=U wife) emotion/ action/ curtian down /lights off -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OH MY GOD,after 3 days(as we r nt talking to each other after an argument over the same issue)i laughed on your beautiful dramatic and action composition thanx for additional tips i definitely gonna try it out
Thanx buddy