i trust blindly my husband since i got married(5 yrs).about 1 yr back on his cell,he puts lock on & i didnt make an issue,i believed give him space for his friends and colleagues 2 months back by chance i red his conversation with a girl & that was nt simple OF COURSE i have a serious talk on it & my husband admitted it was wrong and it is over now he was just flirting with her & removed lock on phone,promises will never do it again
my problem is he is still doing this,in earlier dayz after that issue i checked his cell and find out conversations deleted with 1 number in whatssup i shared with him and he puts lock on again & still its same we have talk over it many times each time he replied isnt i love you?isnt i care you?its just time passing even i am not doing now that kind of stuff its just normal chat(he never satisfied me then y he’s deleting?)
within time i am feelin more hopeless and helpless i didnt ever share him with any1 even in my thoughts so am nt getting his point of entertainment & time passing plz guys help me i just want to AVOID it and stop myself thinkin over it 24/7.i cant do job i have 4 months old kid nor i have friends i always been bad luck about havin friends.
plz serious suggestions i just want NOW to stop loving my husband he hurts me so much give me tips friends
how to stop loving my husband
So he is still "time passing" with other girls on whatsaap is he? Or are you have trouble trusting him again, as he broke your trust once? Either case, I think, you should discuss this with him. Make it clear that you wont tolerate him passing time with other girls. He is not showing you that he cares for you by indulging in such activities, behind your back. Make it clear that you won't accept such behavior, explain how it makes you feel. I don't think, you will be at peace until you're sure he is not into such things anymore. I would not say running away from the problem , is the solution. Confront him again and make it absolutely clear that you will not , accept this from him. Tell him that by deleting the message he is only causing you more pain.
Re: how to stop loving my husband
my darling, I feel your pain. mere shohar ne is saal doosri shaadi ki. I.can't say that I stopped loving him, I just always remind myself that woh kisi aur ki he, meri nahi. when he's in south Africa with ne he's always on watsapp with his second wife, and when he's in Pakistan he doesn't watsapp me. apni zindagi jiyo. yaad rakhiye. aurath jab thak rothi he, than thak kamsor he. stop looking at his phone, show him that it doesn't bother you, then he will get the message. its hard to stop loving your husband, but its easy to become stronger. and please don't have any more children with a man you can't trust. good luck behan.
Re: how to stop loving my husband
i'ave trouble with that he is passing time with other girls i want to give him a chance even its nt as simple for me.whenever we have discussion over it he just defended himself in saying that he still love me and i should nt compare myself with other girls there is no comparison.many times i had argue with him every time i became more hopeless.i got maybe he is now addicted with this kind of stuff and not even want to try to get out of it.last way in my thinkin is to just compromise over it as i am nt getting other way i can't solve out this problem if he is nt interested in it.i am so much alone and helpless in this problem.what to do if he is nt ready to listen my feelings is it mean he really doesnt care for me now???
[quote="itsmehere"]
i'ave trouble with that he is passing time with other girls i want to give him a chance even its nt as simple for me.whenever we have discussion over it he just defended himself in saying that he still love me and i should nt compare myself with other girls there is no comparison.many times i had argue with him every time i became more hopeless.i got maybe he is now addicted with this kind of stuff and not even want to try to get out of it.last way in my thinkin is to just compromise over it as i am nt getting other way i can't solve out this problem if he is nt interested in it.i am so much alone and helpless in this problem.what to do if he is nt ready to listen my feelings is it mean he really doesnt care for me now???/
Did he say he won't stop? Tell him you want him to stop, that's it. It's not about comparisons etc . His logic is seriously flawed. Just because he still loves you he thinks it's okay for him to be engaging in inappropriate conversations with other women, behind your back? What part of that makes any sense.
Speak to him clearly, tell him you don't want your husband flirting with random girls.Let him know this is something that really bothers you, for obvious reasons, and this is not really something you can just overlook. If he respects your feelings he will stop and not come up with absurd reasons to continue. Say we were to call this an "addiction " , even then it's not something that can not be changed. He can let go of this addiction if he wants to. First , however, he has to acknowledge that he is in the wrong and hold the desire to let go of this "addiction" of his.
As for him caring about you, only he can really answer that question. In all honesty and in any relationship you have to show that you care through your actions. Ask him how much of a caring husband his proving to be by doing things he knows hurt you? Ask him how he would feel if you were to do the same.
Re: how to stop loving my husband
[quote="itsmehere"]
i'ave trouble with that he is passing time with other girls i want to give him a chance even its nt as simple for me.whenever we have discussion over it he just defended himself in saying that he still love me and i should nt compare myself with other girls there is no comparison.many times i had argue with him every time i became more hopeless.i got maybe he is now addicted with this kind of stuff and not even want to try to get out of it.last way in my thinkin is to just compromise over it as i am nt getting other way i can't solve out this problem if he is nt interested in it.i am so much alone and helpless in this problem.what to do if he is nt ready to listen my feelings is it mean he really doesnt care for me now???/ Did he say he won't stop? Tell him you want him to stop, that's it. It's not about comparisons etc . His logic is seriously flawed. Just because he still loves you he thinks it's okay for him to be engaging in inappropriate conversations with other women, behind your back? What part of that makes any sense. Speak to him clearly, tell him you don't want your husband flirting with random girls.Let him know this is something that really bothers you, for obvious reasons, and this is not really something you can just overlook. If he respects your feelings he will stop and not come up with absurd reasons to continue. Say we were to call this an "addiction " , even then it's not something that can not be changed. He can let go of this addiction if he wants to. First , however, he has to acknowledge that he is in the wrong and hold the desire to let go of this "addiction" of his. As for him caring about you, only he can really answer that question. In all honesty and in any relationship you have to show that you care through your actions. Ask him how much of a caring husband his proving to be by doing things he knows hurt you? Ask him how he would feel if you were to do the same.
thanx a lot guyz for replyin me b4 talkin here i was thinkin maybe i am wrong in nt givin him space for other girls:(.definitely i make sure him that i am nt feeling ok with it even though i am nt excepting much from him he just keeps on defending him with various excuses according to him he is nt doing that kind of chat now so why he should stop?these girls know that he is married and its normal chat(he deleted that conversations or puts lock on his phone).yep i asked him same question if i do this & he replies why not i would never say anythin i'ave never checked ur cell,ids etc i know its much easy to say as he knows i am nt into such things.
Re: how to stop loving my husband
whatssup
Ohhhhh, so that's why it's called whatsapp. Clever indeed.
how to stop loving my husband
Right. I guess in that case it really comes down to trust. Why do you feel your husband is betraying you? Because he betrayed your trust once or because he deletes the conversations? Or because despite you asking him to stop he won't stop? Is this what makes you feel he still may be flirting? Would you feel better if he showed you those messages? Are you okay with him befriending other women ?
I think you really need to ask yourself what it is about this whole situation that really bothers you . Is it just the fact that your husband is talking to other girls? If it is, ask him why he feels the need to continue chatting with girls when he knows you are not happy with him doing so. If he uses the time passing excuse again, remind him that he can pass time in a number of other ways.
Only you know your husband well enough to understand why he may be doing what his doing. If you think his conversations really are just friendly then may be it's best to just trust him and not worry yourself over this. However, if you don't want him talking to random girls, then you should convey this to him clearly again , emphasizing the point that you want him to stop, no excuses.
Re: how to stop loving my husband
that is the point if there is nothing that kind of chat(which i have red earlier)then why he does delete few conversations from his cell continuously?even when he is bz in his cell & i come he quickly hide his cell and on askin show me after deleting conversations this is the thing i couldnt ignore and hurt me most.i just feel better if he stops doing this kind of talk(which needed to delete) with other girls.i never checked his phone b4 all this but now he gifted me this named DOUBT.i want to stop checking his phone but find myself helpless i want to avoid this all and again find myself hopeless even within 2 months i have lost tons of weight just give me advice how to get over of it if even after one more time discusion he doesnt take it seriously as he is doing from the start in sayin its nature of a male.
Re: how to stop loving my husband
Wth? How can any husband ask the wife be ok with him talking to random women as long as he is loving the wife also?! Thats just absurd. Ask him how would he feel if you keep fulfilling your duties as his wife, loving him yet also chatting up with random guys?
:halo:
how to stop loving my husband
OP, first of all, where do you live and what was your relationship like with your husband before you had your baby? Were you always a SAH wife or have you ever worked outside the home and been independent?
And also, so that we can better understand your situation, who are all these "girls" he's chatting with and where does he meet them? Are they coworkers? Family members? What is the nature of their conversations?
If all else fails, which it seems like, then maybe you should talk to his parents or family elders about this.
Re: how to stop loving my husband
ok in detail we r love married couple v have in contact for 4 years b4 marriage we have 2 kids(4 & half yrs old and 4 months old)we always been an ideal couple.its true(i think)my husband still loves me and care for my each & every necessaries in short b4 this all i was living a perfect married life we had a great understanding but after this issue the situation is in every talk we had about this issue my husband more defends himself than convincing me and i sometimes question him how he can share his emotions with any other lady and sometimes i need him just to quit it whatever it was in the end both of us left with our own logics.here i am asking you guyz what do you think if he caring for me in all other things is this ok to let him do this activity?its not eazy for me i am just asking your opinions.
no never i have done any kind of job.that all girls he has found on whatssapp,nimbuz and wechat not co workers the conversation i have red in that it was clear they are about to meet and my husband admitt that he have met her just 1 time(he said 1 time i am nt sure).about other girls i am sure
waiting for ur suggestions friends
Re: how to stop loving my husband
Look at the bolded parts carefully. If your marriage was so ideal and perfect and you had such a great understanding with your husband, you wouldn’t have started this thread now, would you?
My point is that there is obviously something lacking in your relationship that he feels he needs to seek out other women. Could it be that you are oblivious, or have kidded yourself into believing every thing is all perfect and hunky dory? Do you think maybe it’s because you’ve gotten too busy with the kids and your husband may feel neglected? (I’m not trying to imply you’ve done something wrong, just trying to explore all possibilities for his change in behavior).
And you can’t just randomly find people on Whattsapp. You have to have their phone number/contact number to begin with.
As for your husband having met another women…errrr…that is no way acceptable in my opinion. I would not be looking the other way. But then again, I haven’t let my marriage deteriorate to that point either 
Re: how to stop loving my husband
oh dear,you realy begun a good point.we live in saudia and i'ave lots of lots of time i am nt bz kinda wife in kids and cooking all the time i have a quality time for him i always take care of myself i am well mentained and a very good looking female at the same point i asked my hubby what was missin for what he fell in all this and he replied"of course you know it better there is no space for anyother girl as you are perfect our life and marriage is perfect i was just flirting and its over now i'll never do it again ".but after that it is obvious that he hides his cell phone from me.
we r not good in understanding at this point bcoz my husband wants to continue this stuff and i want him to quit.
this is the reason i am here to know if i am doing wrong in sayin him to stop this?or i am just having doubt on him if he hides cell phone immediately and delete conversations quickly and puts lock on his phone???it is just my broken trust?i am open here and in real want to sort it out by self as my husband is not participated in it.
Re: how to stop loving my husband
If we follow our religion then a lot of problems go away. It is immoral what he is doing. At least in Saudi the punishment of adultery is high. If he is cheating on you then it is really bad. If he needs professional help then he should get it. Remind him that Allah is always watching and even if he is able to hide it from you he cannot hide it from Allah. Try your best to deal with it and do not let it stress you out too much. Most likely he is just a flirt. This can still be grounds for divorce. If you decide to stay married because of your children or other reasons then ignore his flirting. You should not be miserable all your life because of his bad decisions.
Re: how to stop loving my husband
Oh wow so her fault that instead of helping his wife deal with two kids the husband is cheating. What a load of baloney. itsmehere you should raise hell with him. How is it even acceptable?
Re: how to stop loving my husband
oh dear,you realy begun a good point.we live in saudia and i'ave lots of lots of time i am nt bz kinda wife in kids and cooking all the time i have a quality time for him i always take care of myself i am well mentained and a very good looking female at the same point i asked my hubby what was missin for what he fell in all this and he replied"of course you know it better there is no space for anyother girl as you are perfect our life and marriage is perfect i was just flirting and its over now i'll never do it again ".but after that it is obvious that he hides his cell phone from me. we r not good in understanding at this point bcoz my husband wants to continue this stuff and i want him to quit. this is the reason i am here to know if i am doing wrong in sayin him to stop this?or i am just having doubt on him if he hides cell phone immediately and delete conversations quickly and puts lock on his phone???it is just my broken trust?i am open here and in real want to sort it out by self as my husband is not participated in it.
Please don't blame yourself. It's nothing in you that's lacking. It's very easy to claim to be the perfect wife and look down on others with problems in their marriage.
Re: how to stop loving my husband
hmm like MOI kay Advice is going to make any difference? --but hey its so easy to give an advice na--- so why not add MOI kay name also in the list of martyrs.. now I believe U should continue to trust and Love UR hubby -whaysup or whatsdown under ground does not make much difference there are 1000 other ways to cheat or disguise ---and Trust is more superior than Love ---Trust is the foundation of Love U can build the Tallest building of Love that can reach heavens but if the Foundation of Trust is weak it will collapse --sooner or later ---SO TRUST ---now I don't have the exact stats but to MOI limited knowledge 40% of males admit of committing adultery or fornication while their wives were being pregnant or nursing -Now I AM NOT SAYING UR HUUBY DID THAT -pls -- and about 60-70% of them tends to go off the tracks during that period as i noticed that it was in Ur pregnancy??, WHY bcz they are stupid and ullo ( nature baba) i explain later --
I think He really Loves U --bcz as i mentioned above there are 1000 ways to deceive(deleting everything-e-mails-phone calls etc) -or he is really a lousy cheater?? and pls the more U look into these things the more assumptions and conclusion will come to ur mind without any Solid or concrete evidence that he is cheating on U --and At no point I am defending male gender attitude & his nature--na baba na --or Ur hubby attitude --
Now U must not at anytime allow ur emotions--mistrust-hurt-assumptions and misconception drain U and over burden U -nope not good for U nor for Ur kids --U will exhaust and Ur energy will be so drained that U will not be able to withstand and able to concentrate what's more important to U the most ---->U and UR KID(s)-
Now U should get worried IF and big IF depending how well U know Ur hubby -now how can I put nicely hmm anyway I have no shammoo so here U go --any changes in his attitude towards U such as-- hugs shugs--kissy wissy-touchy touchy---eye contact--and other hanky pankies couples do -any changes in there and excuses that U think are really coming from MARS --YES now U should act and act with strength that fe+male is capable of doing that is why she is called Fe+(iron)male--
and pls Don't let the Trust being shattered-- its like crystal glass once shattered its very hard to put back together --
Now the Ullo and stupid nature --hmm most males have this predictable ullo nature that his neck turns when ever a female gender passes by --he make sure she gets to her destination safely or disappear from sight -like she was his long lost love of life-
stupid YES they are they tend to forget who bore them and brought them in this world a Fe+male---without a female they are never successful-that is why its said behind every successful man there is a woman -same goes for his foolishness -
so start ignoring his txt whatsup-down and concentrate solely on solid facts -and signs that i mentioned --Stay put together is more stronger than alone I still believes he loves u dearly-----dang what a lecture--
Peace mercy love and harmony be among us the mankind the creation V know and unknown to us ( Ignore bold part-- MOI delusional State of mind )
lecture was given with very sane mind --from hypocrite 2 face double standard male--what man do is Heavenly ordained If woman does the same SINNER--
Re: how to stop loving my husband
ok in detail we r love married couple v have in contact for 4 years b4 marriage we have 2 kids(4 & half yrs old and 4 months old)we always been an ideal couple.its true(i think)my husband still loves me and care for my each & every necessaries in short b4 this all i was living a perfect married life we had a great understanding but after this issue the situation is in every talk we had about this issue my husband more defends himself than convincing me and i sometimes question him how he can share his emotions with any other lady and sometimes i need him just to quit it whatever it was in the end both of us left with our own logics.here i am asking you guyz what do you think if he caring for me in all other things is this ok to let him do this activity?its not eazy for me i am just asking your opinions. no never i have done any kind of job.that all girls he has found on whatssapp,nimbuz and wechat not co workers the conversation i have red in that it was clear they are about to meet and my husband admitt that he have met her just 1 time(he said 1 time i am nt sure).about other girls i am sure waiting for ur suggestions friends
Tell him to stop. Straight out. Tell him that your not going to accept this. He can keep all reasoning to himself, you will not put up with this. If he does not stop chatting and meeting up with these girls you'll take extreme measures. Yes, that sounds harsh but honestly what his doing is not right either ... it does not seem like his up to any good. I may be wrong. Don't accept his reasoning, it seems like you give in to his arguments and kind off accept what he says..don't. If he can't share whatever his doing with his wife then there is obviously something wrong. Let him know that until he does not stop, you will not let this issue go.
how to stop loving my husband
Get some elders involved like his parents or siblings whom you trust. If you are taking care if all his needs and he still is doing it's Bc of some weakness in his character. make dua and he probably takes you for granted thinking that he needs some outlet from responsibilities .