To me the kids born to desi familes and being raised in Western countries are not confused anymore so the term ABCD does not apply anymore. They are bicultural , they learn two cultures so they are very smart. They are more open minded and frank than their parents and relatives living back in desh. This is their oppeness and frankness which gets them criticism from their desi counterparts and desi relatives.
It is a big challage to raise these kids. Here is an excerpt from an online article.
Many Questions and Challenges
There may be more families dealing with bicultural challenges than there were 20 years ago, but individual families often feel like they have more questions than answers:
• How should we raise our children?
• Should we speak two languages at home or one?
• Teach them both religions?
• Celebrate the holidays of both cultures?
• Are we prepared for our children to look like “the other side” of the family or neither?
• Should we give them names acceptable to both cultures or names typical of one or the other? If so, which one?
• What kind of education do we want them to have? How will we teach them the things they won’t learn in school?
• At a more fundamental level, how should we teach them to behave and what methods should we use?
What is your take ? How are you dealing with these and similar questions ?
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
Send your boys to proms and send your girls to Islamic schools.
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
Hareeeeeeeeeeem! 
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
good post mirch.
although i think the info u have posted is more in tune with kids who have parents who come from two diff cultures and backgrounds.
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
Islam has different standards and different code of conducts and different roles for men and women. Does it not ?
My daughter the other day was asking dady why there was no women prophet ?
If you have answer to this question then you will not be whining about boys going to prom but the girls not going to it.
And as I got more educated about prom I will have no hesitation to send her there either. I did not go to high school or college here in USA , I did go to university just as an audit student so I am not very much exposed to the educational culture, I am learning as I go.
Look at the above reply.
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
Its very simple - raise ALL your children - boys OR girls - to have respect for each other. Foster love of learning, especially of languages, teach cultuao practices, PRACTICE cultural ceremonies. Practice the religion that you and your spouse have decided upon but teach them ALSO about other religions and the practices that come along with them. Celebrate EVERYTHING!! Why NOT? Give them names that have a NICE meaning - as dictated by Islaam. But take care in the culture in which you live so as not to make your child an outcast. As long as the meaning of the name is GOOD then you have chosen well.
Everything else comes from the parents. If you raise your children well, if you raise them to respect all people regardless of race, age, color, religion....then you raise a good and well balanced INTERnational child.
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
good post mirch. although i think the info u have posted is more in tune with kids who have parents who come from two diff cultures and backgrounds.
I agree but it convey's the message. I did not feel like editing the original excerpt.
All The questions are relavant to our situation , some need a little modification.
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
• How should we raise our children? • Should we speak two languages at home or one? • Teach them both religions? • Celebrate the holidays of both cultures? • Are we prepared for our children to look like “the other side” of the family or neither? • Should we give them names acceptable to both cultures or names typical of one or the other? If so, which one? • What kind of education do we want them to have? How will we teach them the things they won’t learn in school? • At a more fundamental level, how should we teach them to behave and what methods should we use? What is your take ? How are you dealing with these and similar questions ?
We need to first decide our level of reigious involvement. Establish the practice in our home. Then teach the children.
We speak both Urdu & English at home.
They only follow one religion. More than one creates confusion. As they grow, they will learn to respect and tolerate other religions, but as muslims, they can only follow one.
My older daughter goes to school so they do celebrate all the holidays there, but we have taught her that as muslims we don't do certain things at home and she has no problem with that.
I think kids learn best by example. So if I do not do namaaz at home how can I teach them to do so? Also, the association we keep strongly influences a child's upbringing. We have friends from all backgrounds, but most of our social getherings are with like minded people of muslim background because we are more comfortable.
Both my daughters names are Arabic names but easy to pronounce. That was our personal choice.
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
Islam has different standards and different code of conducts and different roles for men and women. Does it not ? My daughter the other day was asking dady why there was no women prophet ? If you have answer to this question then you will not be whining about boys going to prom but the girls not going to it. And as I got more educated about prom I will have no hesitation to send her there either. I did not go to high school or college here in USA , I did go to university just as an audit student so I am not very much exposed to the educational culture, I am learning as I go.
.
Okay, so you've cancelled all the other plans you were talking about in another thread. Bari jaldi mind badal liya aap nay.
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
Its very simple - raise ALL your children - boys OR girls - to have respect for each other. Foster love of learning, especially of languages, teach cultuao practices, PRACTICE cultural ceremonies. Practice the religion that you and your spouse have decided upon but teach them ALSO about other religions and the practices that come along with them. Celebrate EVERYTHING!! Why NOT? Give them names that have a NICE meaning - as dictated by Islaam. But take care in the culture in which you live so as not to make your child an outcast. As long as the meaning of the name is GOOD then you have chosen well. Everything else comes from the parents. If you raise your children well, if you raise them to respect all people regardless of race, age, color, religion....then you raise a good and well balanced INTERnational child.
very wise words. Thank you
thats how my parents raised myself and my siblings
it was the one thing that kept us grounded as we lived in three diff countries eacxh year, and 3 very diff cultures. and then prepared us to go study, live and work in further different cultures and places.
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
To me the kids born to desi familes and being raised in Western countries are not confused anymore so the term ABCD does not apply anymore. They are bicultural , they learn two cultures so they are very smart. They are more open minded and frank than their parents and relatives living back in desh. This is their oppeness and frankness which gets them criticism from their desi counterparts and desi relatives. It is a big challage to raise these kids. Here is an excerpt from an online article. Many Questions and Challenges There may be more families dealing with bicultural challenges than there were 20 years ago, but individual families often feel like they have more questions than answers: • How should we raise our children? • Should we speak two languages at home or one? • Teach them both religions? • Celebrate the holidays of both cultures? • Are we prepared for our children to look like “the other side” of the family or neither? • Should we give them names acceptable to both cultures or names typical of one or the other? If so, which one? • What kind of education do we want them to have? How will we teach them the things they won’t learn in school? • At a more fundamental level, how should we teach them to behave and what methods should we use? What is your take ? How are you dealing with these and similar questions ?
We can speak both languages in that way they will remember where there parents or forefathers are from and English is the main language ofcourse.
We cannot teach them both religions its everyone's private matter and being a muslim its our responsibility to teach them the right thing. I will not definately mix holidays they should know what their holidays are and I will not mingle them and celebrate both of them so when they grow up they will be "confused desis" which holiday is right or what religion to pick.All I care about name is what they mean if their meaning is right either in any kind of language I will not mind it because we usually don't have kids urdu names either they are persian,arabic or from different languages. Religion is what I will teach them at home and other education they are getting from school.
Well I think if kids who are born here are much better than normal konfused desis who are born and raised in Pakistan because I think in West kids with American education background and upbringing with true religious knowledge turns out much better than other desis. They are more confident and they can deal with different problems much better than us desis .
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
^ dekha mirch bhai, hpo gaye na log confuse
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
Jab insaan beemar hota hai to waisay hi aadha konfuse hota hai 
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
very wise words. Thank you thats how my parents raised myself and my siblings it was the one thing that kept us grounded as we lived in three diff countries eacxh year, and 3 very diff cultures. and then prepared us to go study, live and work in further different cultures and places.
magar aap ki roots to phir bhi western culture se nahi hain naa :p jo marzi keh lo
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
errr was this collection of words supposed to convery something? :knofused:
baji, dictionary dekh kar post kiya karain
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
mirch’s post listed pointers for kids who are from parents with 2 diff backgrounds, i.e. if you married jango mgunda, a christian black guy from zimbabwe, how u two would raise your kids.
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
Okay, so you've cancelled all the other plans you were talking about in another thread. Bari jaldi mind badal liya aap nay.
I did not make any plans I left it to Allah (SWT). I opened the other thread as I also had so many misconceptions about proms. I am open minded too , that helps me understand things better and accept what is right and reject what is wrong.
So do you have answer to my daughter's question ?
We cannot teach them both religions its everyone's private matter and being a muslim its our responsibility to teach them the right thing. .
I teach them both religions ,Islam to practice and answer questions from non muslims. Christianity to tell them what is different and where it went wrong.
^ dekha mirch bhai, hpo gaye na log confuse
No confusion , I am here to clarify things . Everybody is not as open minded as I am . :D
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
Sorry uncle ji mujhe roots nahi likhna thaa aap ki upbringing to KSA ki hai naa West ki nahi to aap ko to koii khaas faraq nahi para ho gaa apnay culture kaa aap ko theek thaak pata hai 
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
mirch's post listed pointers for kids who are from parents with 2 diff backgrounds, i.e. if you married jango mgunda, a christian black guy from zimbabwe, how u two would raise your kids.
If I were a muslim Rehana Khatoon, Jango Mgunda from Zimbabwe would have to take shahada before I could produce halal babies. In that case, they would be raised muslim. Very hard, but I guess they would have to participate in Jango darling's wahahaha chest beating tongue painting culture. At some point, I'd have to draw a line though. It all depends on my level of practice at the end of the day.
Re: How to raise Bicultural kids ?
mirch's post listed pointers for kids who are from parents with 2 diff backgrounds, i.e. if you married jango mgunda, a christian black guy from zimbabwe, how u two would raise your kids.
I thought he was talking about us desi parents