Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
Well said n i agree. No need to disrespect or humiliate her.
Btw op i was told to drink milk yogurt n nuts fish n other healthy things to have a healthy baby. Fish n nuts have omega 3 n 6 which r essential for development of baby.
All the best.
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
I heard about racism based on different races this is a new one for me, based on shades of brown??? could you imagine being married to a creature that thinks you and your family are beneath her because her complexion is a couple of shades lighter, to the ignoramus drinking and sex are personal choices and only people that bring it up inappropriately are people that have zilch to offer in life and that is the only way they look for attention. Kind of goes look at me I am not fit, I can’t run, I am not educated, I am not funny, I don’t have personality, I never did charity, I don’t volunteer.but I am better than everyone because I don’t drink…pathetic
How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
I think you could’ve had a Billi-ankhon-wala-baby .. If either u were a bili or your husband was a billa & baby could have taken after one of you!
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
This was a ridiculous thread,to say the least.
But as others said,this might not be her exclusive thinking…there will be a lot of rishteydaar and old wives’ tales that are influencing the OP’s thought process and that is a sad thing.Who knows the susraal walay might be causing issues for her…we all know how it is expected and obsessed that the first born will and should always be a boy,although this is in no one’s control.In today’s day and age,it is about time people snap out of this ‘jahileeyat’.I know people with graduate degrees from US schools,who very strongly believe in things that chugging down butter in the last trimester makes the baby slip out just like that…
..so there are a ton of things that make you think oh God what are people talking about…
That being said,telling the OP that her namazain might be just uthak baithak and she is not fit to have a kid etc etc,was uncalled for IMO (no offense intended to anyone).The message that her thought and obsession with billi eyes and gora chitta rang and the way she is looking down on her spouse’s skin color is wrong,could have been conveyed in a better manner.Just my two cents.
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
Parenthood forces us to confront so much about ourselves; it exposes our flaws and flawed assumptions, it topples all those things we took for granted, it forces us rethink our biases.
The first lesson of parenthood is that you are NOT the one in control. Some of us realize it based on when we conceive, others realize it when we throw up for the first time during the pregnancy, and still others realize it when the sleep and feeding schedules just don’t work like all the books say. It’s a lesson we learn and relearn, I think. You should accept it now. You are NOT in control.
Pray for a happy, healthy, and beautiful baby. Stop obsessing over what the details of that mean. If your child does not live up to YOUR ideal of beauty, s/he will realize that. No one else’s criticism and harsh words will hurt as much as yours, even what is left unspoken will be obvious in your manner and your own insecurities. Recognize that you are the adult raising another human being. You are not giving birth to some ornament to adorn you. You have to raise this child to be confident in the world s/he lives in. Help your child see her/his own strengths, talents, beauty, etc. And help your child to stand up to those who try to insult or belittle her/him.
It’s time to make sure you have your priorities straight.
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
She makes Grand wizard of KKK look like Mandela..racist to the core…that is an evil thought process. All the racist take influence from their friends and family and is hardly
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
Let’s not overreact now.
How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
There is a real issue with complexion in pakistan, there is a strong emphasis on being fair every cream lotion potion has a fair version to make you fair
I guess the OP is a product of the society she lives in. God forbid u are dark and fat in pakistan, ppl dont leave u alone
As for wanting a fair baby, shes fair herself so i guess her expectation is not too unrealistic n baby may well b fair, everyone wants a cute baby aswell as happy n healthy
But i definately agree that the looks of a child should be the last thing a parent should be concerned with
Hope this thread makes her realise that
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
Only if they’re both carriers of billa genes. One billa parent wont result in a billa bacha.
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
Eat 2 tbsp of fair & lovely nihaar mouN every morning. That should at least get you fairness at par with Aishwarya Rai.
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
PS: THE ABOVE WAS A JOKE!!!
May Allah SWT bless your baby with health and a safe entry into this world and you the wisdom to love it tremendously regardless of his/ her complexion.
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
scientifically speaking the baby’s entire DNA is already determined the moment you conceive. As most people don’t know exactly when they have conceived, you can’t even do anything about it. The way your baby will look, whether or not it will have (nauzubillah) a disability, or any other physical features are already determined: there’s nothing that can be done to change it. Just pray that Allah grants you what’s best for you, and that He makes your baby beautiful in YOUR eyes. That way when it’s born no matter what it looks like, you will be happy if he/she looks beautiful to YOU 
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
seek forgiveness from Allah for saying what u have said as we all are His creations. Allah sey darna chahye before saying such a thing and Thank Him a zillion times because He is going to give you one of the best gifts that is gift of Aulaad (In’sha Allah) .
Your priorities should be that you baby be healthy and safe and that may Allah bestows him/her with life.
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
I started thinking about this thread…from an angle different from before. I think before I would have maybe rushed to censure the OP, but not now. Should she be scolded for desiring a beautiful child? I don’t think so anymore. But there are some things she needs to consider and I’ll get to that later.
I believe that every mother wishes for a beautiful child. It is of course not the only wish. She also wishes for a healthy child, a naik child, etc. But beautiful/cute/attractive child is also among the wishes…and it’s a very, very, very natural…very innate desire within all of us…and for those who are going to deny it…are kidding themselves. That said, I don’t think that a parent should be chided/scolded for having such a wish…as it is only natural…but it becomes a problem when the parent becomes consumed by that and thus risks hurting the child’s self-esteem.
When my sister was born, my dad said to my mom… Shukar hai is ki aankhain meri tarha bari hain. A gori coworker said that she didn’t find dark eyes as attractive as lighter ones and hoped that her baby doesn’t inherit the darker eyes of her Hispanic husband. We all have our preferences in terms if skin coloring, hair color and texture, features, etc etc.
It is not even a Desi thing. It’s a human being thing…this innate desire to want the best for your child in every single regard…be it superficial or substantial. I find it odd if a woman were to say …bas mera bacha sehat-mand ho …aur kuch nahi chahiye mujhay. Err…that is just a fleeting sentiment that “aur kuch nahi chahiye”…because at some point you will desire more for your child. You want your child to be intelligent, to do well in school, to be naik, to be successful, to be confident, etc etc. This desire for your child to have/be everything…is a reflection of love.
Now if somebody is going to argue that she holds contempt for her husband and in-laws darker coloring…we can’t really say that. She married the guy and is having his child, so must not be THAT bothered by it. But she has a preference in terms if coloring…and that’s okay…I don’t think it’s shameful.
BUT…What OP needs to understand though is that she doesn’t gave much control over the child’s looks. And she should refrain from criticizing the child’s looks because it’s damaging to self esteem. Nor should she she ket the preference consume her to the point that she feels ashamed/self-conscious…and, that too, of what cannot be controlled.
So, OP…agar tumhara bacha gora chitta nahi bhi nikla…you should accept and love him/her the way they are. Apnay bachay ko shakal/surat/naak/naqsha…in cheezon pe kabhi kamter feel mat karwaana…kyun k is pe na tumhara na bachay ka koi ikhtyar hai…aur bachay k confidence pe asar hoga. And waqt k saath bachay ki shakal badalti rehti hai. Also, there are no “totkay” that you can follow to make your child khubsurat. I have read that Rasool SAWS advised eating melon to have a child of goid disposition. I do not know how authentic or strong the hadith is. Just relax and pray for the best for your child and family.
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
so then RV je, what is wrong when MILs have a preference for beautiful and light-skinned bahus? at least they have control over skin-color there and are choosing to exercise it. why is this seen as backwardly/paindu etc?
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
I hate to say it but the guy has a good point 
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
RV, I agree that most parents wish for the best for their children in all aspects, including appearance. However, that is not what the posters are criticising. What most posters find appalling is the OP’s preoccupation with the child’s appearance and the fact that she seems to place beauty above having a healthy child. At the beginning of this thread, several posters gave the OP some rather good advice, such as taking prenatal vitamins, drinking milk, getting plenty of calcium, maintaining a healthy diet and other advice that would help with a healthy pregnancy and having a healthy child. She simply glossed it over with something like “oh, I don’t want that kind of advice you are giving me, I want to know how to achieve what I am asking,” indicating that she is more concerned with the child’s appearance (ie. having a fair child with coloured eyes) than the child’s health and that is what most people on this thread find atrocious and are criticising her for.
That being said, we cannot be sure that this is how the OP feels in reality as we cannot read her thoughts and cannot know everything that is going through her mind. However, the manner in which she expressed herself in her initial post and glibly went on to dismiss the health advice given to her by other posters indicates that it is.
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
Mezghan…this must be the post you’re referring to. She admits that being healthy is more important than being beautiful and hopefully she’s taking the necessary precautions to ensure the health of her baby. The way I see this post…is that she is already aware of all that has been suggested to her and she’s not denying it, but she still wants to do whatever she can to achieve a certain goal. When she says that she doesn’t “need” the advice…it could even mean that she doesn’t believe she would hurt her child for not looking the way she wants, but that she wants to do what she can ti have a beautiful child…because she believes that she has some control in this regard. Poor nutrition does effect the unborn child…so do things like drinking, smoking, stress. I don’t know how much validity there is in the old wives’ tips. As long as she doesn’t make her child feel inferior…that’s what matters more.
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
Lets come back to the starting point. I think op is a primee and hence super excited and rather fanciful. Give her a break guys and get over it. How can you all be so sure she really prefers looks over health AND she is going to not accept/criticise her child if he/she turns after the daddy? Let her become a mother and have her baby in her arms. Whoever on here is a mother knows how lovable a baby is to the mom, regardless of looks and all. If you are so sureshot of yourself being perfect enough to judge her, look down upon her and my oh my the favourite feat of gsians, ripping off the op for anything that may not please you, how can you so underestimate her love for her baby who is not even born as yet? Did she say she is going to disown the baby if its dark? Did she just disown her husband? If she can marry a dark man she can.bear dark babies too and its ok. Please do not underestimate a mothers love.
Like rv said, wishing a beautiful baby is very natural, not a sin. Maybe the op always loved fair and coloured eyed babies and now when.its her time, she just wishes one for herself. Well honestly, when i read some of the replies here where she has been made fun of to.the inhuman extremes, where she has been told to be slapped, AND where she is even denied the blessing of being deserved to.be a mother, (and you are saying this to a pregnant lady?!?! Like really?!??!? You believe in leaving seat for a pregnant lady but you dont mind attacking her to the bone with your words?) well i find that all more shameful than this thread of hers. Now come, rip me off too 
Re: How to have beatuful and healthy baby?
I’ve heard expectant moms say they fear that they won’t be able to love their second child as much as the first. It’s a disturbing thought, but one that passes when you have the child in front of you. I have heard so many superstitions from my cousins in Pak and I remember once hearing that putting a pic of a beautiful baby on the wall will produce a beautiful child. Over there…people comfortably ask for such tips…and nobody jumps down their throat…because it’s a common thing over there. In the West, we have developed the technology to even pick and chose the genetic makeup of an unborn child…for those who can afford to do so. We, in the West, may be more educated…but I wonder if it leads to a lack of tolerance/patience sometimes. OP manages to talk/respond with more tameez than we do even after being mocked.