Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
You hear it on this forum pretty often, maybe not 4 years but 2 -3 years for sure.
Rukhsati sure isn’t obligatory, but it’ has been made obligatory. Something that is so easy, has been made very difficult.
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
^Crazy stuff..
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
how much should be haq mhr according to religion ? or whats the reasoable haq mhr in pakistan ?
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
"$30Gs down. coz your worth it"
corporate ad-style tagline for huq mehr NA-2015
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
I don't think that this issue will ever be completely resolved in our community.....
People just don't get it.
Even if you put $10 million as the mehr, what good is that if the guy is unable to pay it? Either now or later?
Any amount that the groom is unable to pay up front is unreasonable.
Any amount that causes strife between an otherwise happy couple is unreasonable.
What if the mehr is set at 25Gs with 5G up front and 20G to be paid later......and the guy ends up being in an accident and unable to earn a year after the marriage? What then?
What are people so short-sighted?
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
If they're in the West, I feel Haq Mehr should be null and void as is polygamy - women have adequate protect through the law of the land. If in Pakistan and Arabia, meh, do what you got to do to protect yourself.
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
I don't think that this issue will ever be completely resolved in our community.....
People just don't get it. Even if you put $10 million as the mehr, what good is that if the guy is unable to pay it? Either now or later? Any amount that the groom is unable to pay up front is unreasonable. Any amount that causes strife between an otherwise happy couple is unreasonable.
What if the mehr is set at 25Gs with 5G up front and 20G to be paid later......and the guy ends up being in an accident and unable to earn a year after the marriage? What then?
What are people so short-sighted?
cheaper to buy girl at $500 weekends
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
cheaper to buy girl at $500 weekends
yeah but you're selling your imaan then.....
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
If they're in the West, I feel Haq Mehr should be null and void as is polygamy - women have adequate protect through the law of the land. If in Pakistan and Arabia, meh, do what you got to do to protect yourself.
okay....that's an option.
how about setting a "token" amount so that the parents are satisfied that the law of the deen has been fulfilled?
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
yeah but you're selling your imaan then.....
Oh...men selling their imaaan to their gold-digging lazy wives all the time!
Riba, Zina, Alcohol. Please chose your favorite sin you can conveniently live with.
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
when I marry, I always agree on a mehr amount that i can easily gift on-spot at the time of nikkah...generally its under $10,000 USD. once a girl insisted a day before the nikkah on a lot more. I knew If I was merely buying someone, i could find much better girls for that money. so i never married her. that taught her well i hope (but they don't ever learn).
when i was not as well off, I set mehr at $3,000 on-spot. I don't marry stubborn mehr-diggin negotiators. I'm always at peace in life as a result.
Das how i ACTUALLY handle my mehr situations
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
when I marry, I always agree on a mehr amount that i can easily gift on-spot at the time of nikkah...generally its under $10,000 USD. once a girl insisted a day before the nikkah on a lot more. I knew If I was merely buying someone, i could find much better girls for that money. so i never married her. that taught her well i hope (but they don't ever learn). when i was not as well off, I set mehr at $3,000 on-spot. I don't marry stubborn mehr-diggin negotiators. I'm always at peace in life as a result.
Das how i ACTUALLY handle my mehr situations
perhaps this is another subject but maybe one day you could define what you mean when you say "much better girls for that money".....
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
perhaps this is another subject but maybe one day you could define what you mean when you say "much better girls for that money".....
no strings attached...
make food, don't torture with emotional black mail, and obviously be smoking HOT.
intellect and moral-mommy material not needed for that kind deal...i.e, speaking strictly in terms of Mehr-style purchase contracts.
but the point i was making there was, if girl or girl's side are treating a gift as a transaction price, then i know much of the sincerity I want starting out is missing, and I can't include that person as an honorable partner a caliber of my wife.
and if I were to treat it simply like a transaction, then i know what money can get on the market!
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
no strings attached... make food, don't torture with emotional black mail, and obviously be smoking HOT.
intellect and moral-mommy material not needed for that kind deal...i.e, speaking strictly in terms of Mehr-style purchase contracts.
but the point i was making there was, if girl or girl's side are treating a gift as a transaction price, then i know much of the sincerity I want starting out is missing, and I can't include that person as an honorable partner a caliber of my wife.
and if I were to treat it simply like a transaction, then i know what money can get on the market!
I guess "no strings attached....make food, don't torture with emotional black mail, and obviously be smoking HOT" could include be sincere as well.....
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
My sister's having her nikkah in about 3 weeks - her haq mehr is the same that both my older brothers gave to their wives: shariah bare minimum. I don't get why some girls (and guys) are such betas when it comes to their parents, lol.
OP, if I was the guy you're marrying - I'd run a mile based off of what you've told me about your parents need to impress relatives/the wider community. quite sad actually. I'm not peeved about your right to demand what you deem appropriate as your haq mehr, which is your god given right - it's your dads need to impress relatives/friends that I find quite scary.
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
I guess "no strings attached....make food, don't torture with emotional black mail, and obviously be smoking HOT" could include be sincere as well.....
what planet you ON?
point me one all inclusive. and ill change my mind.
maybe I AM the one on the wrong planet
haha
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
cheaper to buy girl at $500 weekends
I was reading a study that for men in the UK,per orgasm, it is cheaper to fly off to Amsterdam twice a month and pay a hooker then it is to get married, opening yourself up to being fleeced in divorce/paying for kids. I'll try and dig it up if I can, I think I it was on return of kings. Fascinating article.
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
My sister's having her nikkah in about 3 weeks - her haq mehr is the same that both my older brothers gave to their wives: shariah bare minimum. I don't get why some girls (and guys) are such betas when it comes to their parents, lol.
OP, if I was the guy you're marrying - I'd run a mile based off of what you've told me about your parents need to impress relatives/the wider community. quite sad actually. I'm not peeved about your right to demand what you deem appropriate as your haq mehr, which is your god given right - it's your dads need to impress relatives/friends that I find quite scary.
Agree.
The sad part is that the bride probably does not share her parent's sentiments.
And this divide is where the problems begin.....
If she questions their position she will be given the standard lecture of: we know better than you, you have no life experience yet, when you have your own daughter you will understand why we are insisting, you have yet to learn the ways of our society, you have to conform to the rules of our community, yada, yada, yada.....
Re: How to handle the Haq Mehr situation
Agree.
The sad part is that the bride probably does not share her parent's sentiments. And this divide is where the problems begin.....
She's an adult, not a child. Me and my siblings know when to hold our parents accountable when they spout backward views.