The person is someone that cannot be with you since they are already spoken for through arranged marriage but they keep trying to see you or be with you, without taking drastic measures and causing a lot of drama(no calling the police or having a relative scream at them), what can be done? Remember this is someone that you loved or love.
I made a pact with myself that I wouldn’t see him for 60 days even if he tried to come over a couple times. I ignored his doorbell ringing.
Ignored his messages for 60 days. I’m over him but still can’t be cruel and insensitive by calling the police. He’s a hooked man in my eyes so he doesn’t exist for me.
Would it be wise to walk by him or show interest in another guy so he would understand that he needs to actually face the decision he has made or his family has made for him?
I really don’t need any know-it-all, rude, arrogant responses saying that I should know better. If you could put yourself in my situation, it would help.
thats would really hurt but I suppose its gonna hurt anyway so ... I dont know what to say but I think its very hard to hold back as the feeling dont go away so easily, it will take a lot of time unless you push him away. it will be difficult in the start but with time he will calm down. The sooner is the better. Its gonna be hard but you have to push him away as there is no nice way until you guys mutually sit and see the prospect and decide about it.
Well in that case, he needs to understand that your not interested due to him being taken. I think he needs to get this message by you carrying on ignoring him and not giving him any ideas that your still interested in being with him.
IA with time he'll understand himself and focus on his own life and relationship.
believe me when I say i've been blocking him out for over two months now. Blocked messaging and we never emailed. I didn't even open the door when he rang it so many times. I won't involve family or friends in this because this is something between me and him. If I can't be with him why is he making me go through this torture. i even threatened to tell the woman that he is supposed to see as his life partner but he said he isn't worried if i did that. She won't be able to move over to this country for months.
I've faced it already. I've done the 60 day hetox. I'm stronger now. I've gotten over it or tried to get over and see that I have to move on. He is not letting me. He doesn't want me to be with any other man but then he's already let his family decide who he should see as his life partner.
I wish I could just move myself and my job to another city temporarily but because of certain issues I have to be in this city for an extended amount of time.
believe me when I say i've been blocking him out for over two months now. Blocked messaging and we never emailed. I didn't even open the door when he rang it so many times. I won't involve family or friends in this because this is something between me and him. If I can't be with him why is he making me go through this torture. i even threatened to tell the woman that he is supposed to see as his life partner but he said he isn't worried if i did that. She won't be able to move over to this country for months.
I've faced it already. I've done the 60 day hetox. I'm stronger now. I've gotten over it or tried to get over and see that I have to move on. He is not letting me. He doesn't want me to be with any other man but then he's already let his family decide who he should see as his life partner.
I wish I could just move me and my job to another city temporarily but because of certain issues I have to be in this city for an extended amount of time.
Well..you're doing good so far. And don't let this chap taking you for ride like this. Draw a line and there are times..where ya need to be very tough. I am not saying call the police..o heck may be you should if this continues.
He came over again by surprise today and this time it was when I had an appointment after work so I had to leave my place. The one mistake I made was that I didn't lock my car door so he sat in the passenger seat. I had to be face to face with him at that point. No he's not a thug or a psycho. He tried to hold my hand and tried to get close. vomit All I see is a hooked man. When he tried to hold my hand it did kind of bring back the feelings. I will not call the police, he isn't some criminal for me to do that. Anything except that or involving him being treated like a convict please.
Please keep in mind I intensely loved him before the 60 day hetox. Now i'm more practical.
I honestly feel like i'm in some Geo or hum tv drama but unfortunately it's my life.
I really don't have luck with guys so finding another man is difficult since no other guy seems right or compatible that exists near me.
Next time when he comes, tell the dude straight to his face that you don't wanna see him anymore and that he should stop making contact with you. Tell him that if he continues to do so, that would be harassment and then you would call the cops. (give him a warning)
I've given him so many warnings from calling the cops or telling the woman his family chose for him about what he is doing. he's said he's no worried. It's like calling the cops on someone that is a family member(far from perfect family member).
Does anybody else in your family (or his) know what he's up to? How exactly do you tell him to leave you alone? Do you use a firm tone or are you hesitant and shaky? I don't know much about your story but from what I've heard, girls end up leaving openings for stalker-ish guys by being too concerned about being not rude when dealing with them.
I've given him so many warnings from calling the cops or telling the woman his family chose for him about what he is doing. he's said he's no worried. It's like calling the cops on someone that is a family member(far from perfect family member).
Any suggestions other than calling the cops?
So he is already arranged with someone and is stalking you?
Are you sure you still don't love him? If you don't love him, then just treat him like any other guy. Get someone involved, your family, his family, tell his SO. Don't keep it to yourself. Idk but sometimes things gets out of hand and a "nice guy that you loved 60 days ago" can very well become obsessed with you ... and what if stalking gets out of hand?
If you are not willing to call cops, at least get someone involved. Be safe
He came over again by surprise today and this time it was when I had an appointment after work so I had to leave my place. The one mistake I made was that I didn't lock my car door so he sat in the passenger seat. I had to be face to face with him at that point. No he's not a thug or a psycho. He tried to hold my hand and tried to get close. All I see is a hooked man. When he tried to hold my hand it did kind of bring back the feelings. I will not call the police, he isn't some criminal for me to do that. Anything except that or involving him being treated like a convict please.
Please keep in mind I intensely loved him before the 60 day hetox. Now i'm more practical.
Globalgal: No, you're not being practical. You're allowing your emotions to guide you rather than your brain. The fact that he's showing up like this unexpectedly should scare you! He has already shown that he has 0 respect for your boundaries or your feelings. The ONLY thing he cares about is what HE wants. The fact that he has told you he doesn't care if you call the police should scare you even more! Do you have any idea how many women out there end up in the hospital or in a grave b/c they chose not to take action against a ex-bf or ex-husband as a result of their feelings? A man doesn't have to be a thug or a psycho in order to be dangerous.
Take off your blindfold and see your ex for who he truly is....not hooked but unpredictable & not afraid of the consequences of his actions. Do you honestly believe it's "practical" to sit back and wait until he commits a crime against you before you seek help? If your sister or best friend was going through this situation, would you really be supportive of their decision in not seeking any outside help?
If he's not worried about his wife, tell him the police will be the next call. Stop being weak and send him a message. Just once will do. This is pretty stalkerish behaviour.
Op have u asked him point blank what he plans to get out of stalking u? If its one of those scenes k Maeri baat to sun lo or whatever then just let him get it out of his system so he can just go away. He's so bold about getting the police called on him but doesn't have the nerve to take a stand in his family about u. If its decided that he's marrying someone else then tell him u will not be the side person that he needs to be in touch with till he gets attached to his wife and can let go of u. Because practically speaking that's what he wants. Tell him that that's not what u want so basically no point in anything. And dont call the girl or the police call his mom.
