Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
You know what I dont get? Does this woman have any sense and pride? I mean she is staying at a stranger's house and not to forget the OVERTLY caring husband. Weird.
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
...OMG I am sooo mad.
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
@rainbow1987 Hey I was born in 88. We're similar ages. Cool. Er yeah, that sounds about the right response, but really he won't know how it truly feels until it happens though I guess. Not that I think thats the best course of action... cos fire with fire n all that. You'll probably have to ride it out... or help the girl find a place. Or ask her long term plans... etc... she should make the move!
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
That reminds me, my dad’s cousin’s HUSBAND 
came to live with is for 3 months and slept in the same bed as my dad. My parents slept apart for 3 months. Given there werent any spare bedrooms but why the hell couldnt he just have the decency to sleep somewhere else? And he was in his 50s while my dad was in his late 30s. Some people are so clueless or selfish.
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
lol when you spit out a desi cliche like "hamaraa ghar aap ka ghar hai" some people, especially the ones who just got off the boat take it literally. haha. emm OP try and get ur husband on ur side first and make him see ur point of view thats the first step. Then get him to talk to her. Cuz if you talk to the "guest" he/she wont make much of it but if your husband does itll sink in cuz hes being nice to the guest right now so itll get taken more seriously.
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
She is here on a 1 year student visa and I dont know her. The only thing I know is that her brother is my hubby's friend. When she first came she told us that she will be staying for 2 days . But whenever she just slightly mentioned, that she is looking for a place, my hubby would say something like: jab hum ha to aap kahin nahin jaee gee...aap jahin rahe abhi..ya aap naraaz ha..main nahin jaane doon ga..bla bla bla
Every time he did I wanted to shoot him. And even my parents told him that they dont think she should stay here that long.
Either he is a pervert or he is a nice guy and trying to go out of his way to help his friends little sister.
You know your husband , you live with him 24x7 you should know how to deal with him.
After all this does not seem to be the problem created by this girl , she is being forced to stay over by your husband. Does she know that even if your husband does not want her to leave but you want her to leave ? If she does not know then let her know in specific terms. Don't be shy about it.
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
@Gujjar999 I'm damn obedient dude, but there are lines that we should respect as spouses. I ask my husband before I go out, not because I have to, but cos I want to. If he ever told me "no" I wouldnt go. Doesnt mean I'm gonna stand by and be sidelined by a socially unaware houseguest. My cousin came to Pak and lived with me and my guy and inlaws whilst I was there. She used to sleep our bed, with me and my guy used one of the guest rooms. She left after 3 days cos she felt bad me and him were sleeping apart. THAT'S how you act. You dont go imposing yourself into other peoples lives. I want to smack that girl haha. I'm all riled up.
But yeah, being more sensible now, you're right, playing this politically is the right way... I guess if it was me and I was in that position, I probably wouldnt smack the girl. I probably would smack him though, and then he'd smack me back and I'd leave him and... yeah I'll stop with the hypotheticals.
LOL..u just made me laugh..thanx..You go girl!
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
Either he is a pervert or he is a nice guy and trying to go out of his way to help his friends little sister. You know your husband , you live with him 24x7 you should know how to deal with him. After all this does not seem to be the problem created by this girl , she is being forced to stay over by your husband. Does she know that even if your husband does not want her to leave but you want her to leave ? If she does not know then let her know in specific terms. Don't be shy about it.
She is not being forced..I mean she is not that dumb. She knows that he was just being nice..takalufaat u know. But she just mentioned it twice and after that she was very happy to stay, after getting the permission from my stupid husband.
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
I do not know if you were born and raised in Pakistan or not.
But there a friends sister is treated as your own sister. And she feels the same way. If he is insisting she stays she does not see it as free loading.
If you let her know that she is not welcome , it will her ego and she will leave. He is also feeling morally obligated to help his friend's sister because of his Pakistani upbringing( I am assuming).
Since you do not like this arrangement there is no harm in letting her know. You have told your husband , he is naive to think that it is OK for him to make his wife mad and make his friend happy. If you let her know that she is no more welcome she will leave. You can be diplomatic about finding some alternate arrangement for her .
Why is with you guys this time ?
She is not being forced..I mean she is not that dumb. She knows that he was just being nice..takalufaat u know. But she just mentioned it twice and after that she was very happy to stay, after getting the permission from my stupid husband.
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
Ermm some of you are telling the OP to leave the house to prove her point. What the hell type of logic is that??
Rainbow, these types of issues should not be left up to our husband (sorry husbands). YOU are the woman of the house. It's your job to make rules for who comes in and who goes out and HOW guests live. You don't have to kick her out tomorrow morning, but you also don't have to treat her like your sister. Give her the guidelines and tell your husband to stay out of it.
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
^ Its clear that he doesn't respect her feelings or her opinions. So to give him the kick up the ass that he quite clearly needs she either leaves or forces him/her to move out. At least it will force a reaction and show her how much he values her (or not). But at least she'll know now, rather than 3 or 4 years down the line.
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
@rainbow1987 Awesome; I made you laugh, my job is done. Good luck with all this. Hope the blond gets the hints and effs off soon. Will keep visiting this topic and see how things pan out. X
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
@sweetpip... you watch House.
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
**guests are 'God sent blessings/torment" so deal with it!
*OR*
pick fights/yell at hubby :D**
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
honestly the best way to discreetly remind her of her place is to
- start assigning household chores to her
- just politely take away your laptop if she's been using it for too long
- also make this a ground rule of not to invite a friend over no matter what ! (that even made my blood boil ...i wonder how are you putting up with this all)
Next talk to your husband that having a non-mehram woman in the home isn't Islamic either, no matter how sisterly she appears to him. Also if possible ask your dad to directly talk to your hubby and show their disapproval of the entire arrangement. GOD why cant people understand this isnt Pakistan where you have a string of maids/servants/cooks to help one out neither we have huge houses like back there. It's insanity beyond words.
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
@Gujjar999 I'm damn obedient dude, but there are lines that we should respect as spouses. I ask my husband before I go out, not because I have to, but cos I want to. If he ever told me "no" I wouldnt go. Doesnt mean I'm gonna stand by and be sidelined by a socially unaware houseguest. My cousin came to Pak and lived with me and my guy and inlaws whilst I was there. She used to sleep our bed, with me and my guy used one of the guest rooms. She left after 3 days cos she felt bad me and him were sleeping apart. THAT'S how you act. You dont go imposing yourself into other peoples lives. I want to smack that girl haha. I'm all riled up.
But yeah, being more sensible now, you're right, playing this politically is the right way... I guess if it was me and I was in that position, I probably wouldnt smack the girl. I probably would smack him though, and then he'd smack me back and I'd leave him and... yeah I'll stop with the hypotheticals.
I agree with you sis.. why u getting angry 4? x
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
honestly the best way to discreetly remind her of her place is to
- start assigning household chores to her
- just politely take away your laptop if she's been using it for too long
- also make this a ground rule of not to invite a friend over no matter what ! (that even made my blood boil ...i wonder how are you putting up with this all)
Next talk to your husband that having a non-mehram woman in the home isn't Islamic either, no matter how sisterly she appears to him. Also if possible ask your dad to directly talk to your hubby and show their disapproval of the entire arrangement. GOD why cant people understand this isnt Pakistan where you have a string of maids/servants/cooks to help one out neither we have huge houses like back there. It's insanity beyond words.
i think this is the best post so far
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
Ermm some of you are telling the OP to leave the house to prove her point. What the hell type of logic is that??
Rainbow, these types of issues should not be left up to our husband (sorry husbands). YOU are the woman of the house. It's your job to make rules for who comes in and who goes out and HOW guests live. You don't have to kick her out tomorrow morning, but you also don't have to treat her like your sister. Give her the guidelines and tell your husband to stay out of it.
Disagree
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
Just let her stay and treat her like a sister.. im sure your husband doesn't have bad intentions
guests are a mercy! i think you should get close to her rather than staying away by letting your husband, and share equal responsibilities so she can also help in the house work etc
put a password on your laptop and tell her politely that i have got some secret files in there so whenever you want to use it next time just ask me.. and when she asks you just let her use it for an hour or so
give her jobs to do such as washing the dishes cooking cleaning up etc... don't act bossy but friendly and share
Re: how to get rid of an unwanted house guest.. :s
This is beyond pathetic. If neither your husband nor this woman are compromising with you....then I'd suggest that you let your husband know that you're tired of being treated like a doormat and then leave for a while. Go stay with your parents. This is not the only issue you have with your husband....I vaguely remember that he also treats you like dirt.