Half of my wedding video was recorded on 2 tapes, one of them is lost and I cant find it anywhere. It was at my mums house and she put it somewhere and cant remember where she put it..It has been lost for nearly a year and I cant get over the fact that it is lost. I never ever saw that half of the video and get depressed from time to time.
How would someone get over it if they lost their wedding video without ever viewing it? Has anyone else been in a similar situation to me…
Re: How to get over my lost wedding tape
I have keep it very careful, i don;t know why you have never seen your video soon after the wedding day. It is strange! You need to be responsible and look after your things rather than give it to someone who will not remember where they put it, if i lean it to someone i always ask for it back after 1 month.
Re: How to get over my lost wedding tape
I made tons of copies of my dvd....just in case...but yeah...not sure what you can do..other than ask around..maybe someone borrowed it from you mom's place...
Re: How to get over my lost wedding tape
well i did see it only on the camcorder itself really quickly because it wasnt a professional video and it was about 20mins long. I left it at my mums house even she regrets not knowing where she put it...Im sad:(
Re: How to get over my lost wedding tape
A lot seems to be bothering you about your wedding, 6ish years ago. I think these threads that you're starting about the smaller details of the wedding are symptoms of a larger unhappiness about the wedding. From your other thread, I see your sister is getting married, and it's probably reviving all of these feelings or even creating them -- did you even know that you wanted some of this stuff until your sister got it?
Recognize the fact that a lot of things did not go as you would have liked for your wedding, and also that a lot has changed in these past few years. Even your family circumstances have probably changed. You have changed. You aren't the bride from 6-7 years ago; but you can celebrate who you are today. Rather than being depressed about what you can't change, have a lot of fun and do things on your terms now. If you aren't willing to do that, the situation is not going to be better.
Re: How to get over my lost wedding tape
its been about 1 year since its been lost. she doesnt remember giving it to anyone..I just wish noone has binned it by mistake!
Re: How to get over my lost wedding tape
Well said Sahar!!!
6 years is a long time....and I am pretty sure many good things happened in your marriage during this time .....that could make up for these smaller issues on your wedding day..dont let that one day stop you from being happy about your own wedding...AND your sister's wedding...be there for her...and be happy for her.
Re: How to get over my lost wedding tape
sahar02: thanks for your comments..the reason why I am depressed about my video because I thought that my mum knew all along where it was and when I asked her last year she said it was lost and she couldnt find it. If i knew about this gupshup forum sooner I would have been on it:).
I know I should stop looking at what my sister is doing for her wedding...but sometimes its hard to. I will try my best to focus on the future and not dwell on the past. I think because everyone in my hubby's family had a nice wedding that I look at mine and compare which I try very hard not too...I am sorry if I have started annoying people:(
A lot seems to be bothering you about your wedding, 6ish years ago. I think these threads that you're starting about the smaller details of the wedding are symptoms of a larger unhappiness about the wedding. From your other thread, I see your sister is getting married, and it's probably reviving all of these feelings or even creating them -- did you even know that you wanted some of this stuff until your sister got it?
Recognize the fact that a lot of things did not go as you would have liked for your wedding, and also that a lot has changed in these past few years. Even your family circumstances have probably changed. You have changed. You aren't the bride from 6-7 years ago; but you can celebrate who you are today. Rather than being depressed about what you can't change, have a lot of fun and do things on your terms now. If you aren't willing to do that, the situation is not going to be better.
I know that I went through the same recently when my BIL married my cousin. I wanted to be in that situation again - I wanted to change the way everything had happened and many times I wanted to get my wedding tape out to watch but I restrained myself.
I just consoled myself that things were different then, and maybe it was a good thing that I didn't do certain things/spend so much money etc etc
Re: How to get over my lost wedding tape
wannabe-mum: how long have you been married for?
sahar02: thanks for your comments..the reason why I am depressed about my video because I thought that my mum knew all along where it was and when I asked her last year she said it was lost and she couldnt find it. If i knew about this gupshup forum sooner I would have been on it:).
I know I should stop looking at what my sister is doing for her wedding...but sometimes its hard to. I will try my best to focus on the future and not dwell on the past. I think because everyone in my hubby's family had a nice wedding that I look at mine and compare which I try very hard not too...I am sorry if I have started annoying people:(
You're not being annoying! Don't worry about that. I just worry that dwelling on all of these different details is making you feel worse -- and sometimes visiting this forum can enhance this feeling.
Eventhough I had a lovely wedding, other weddings still make me feel like there were some things I missed out on, and I begin to feel a little resentful. No wedding can be perfect.
Even if we feel that our wedding is/was perfect, something new will come down the line and we'll wish we could've had that. The reason is that we only plan to get married once and we only allow ourselves that one time in our life to be honored and pampered. It's what makes weddings special, but it's also what starts to make people feel like they have nothing left to look forward to, or that they've missed their chance because of the choices they made (or others made for them) for their weddings.
What we need is a culture change. We shouldn't look to weddings as the only time to celebrate ourselves and our relationships. Early in life there are lots of landmarks -- graduations, engagements, weddings, etc. But later in life we start celebrating others (like our children) rather than ourselves. Does it have to be that way?
Re: How to get over my lost wedding tape
sahar02; thanks for listening to me:). When people say to me that your wedding day is when you need to be pampered etc, I feel sad because I had to do my own makeup on my nikah and valima, therefore I wasnt pampered on my own wedding. The other day my hubby's cousin was asking me about my sisters wedding and about who here makeup artist will be etc..and then I told her that my sis might to registration makeup herself and she looked at me as if I was mad or something..therefore it made me feel down that i didnt have my makeup done professionally.
I think your right little things are being triggered ever since my sister is getting married. Before I never used to be like this. But there are some people that didnt like my wedding pics which upset me at the time.
Re: How to get over my lost wedding tape
^ You know, a few months ago a relative was asking my what I was wearing to my BIL's wedding. I said that I would most likely wear my wedding clothes. She replied saying, "But those are too light to wear to the wedding! Make sure to get your hair done or something to make it look heavier." And the thing is, I know my MIL made my clothes on the light side for brides, but if I wore them to my own wedding, how could it be too light for someone else's??? I think she just needed to slip the comment in there. And it did make me feel bad initially, and revived some of those feelings of disappointment, but I know my clothes are really lovely, though perhaps a bit light, that there was love that went into them, and that I look hot in them and I shouldn't let her get me down. :D
Re: How to get over my lost wedding tape
i agree with sahar and chanda, but i can somewhat relate. my brother lost my 1st birthday movie 8 yrs ago ='(..i get sad thinking about it till this day. its the only kid movie i had of myself..
anyway, there's some surats that you can read or certain phrases that you recite that can help you find something you've lost. there's one that's never failed me..if you're interested i'll ask him my mom what it is
Re: How to get over my lost wedding tape
^..yeah...I recite "Ya haqo" over and over...while I am looking for something.... :) it really does help...!
wannabe-mum: how long have you been married for?
I got married in 2001
sahar02; thanks for listening to me:). When people say to me that your wedding day is when you need to be pampered etc, I feel sad because I had to do my own makeup on my nikah and valima, therefore I wasnt pampered on my own wedding. The other day my hubby's cousin was asking me about my sisters wedding and about who here makeup artist will be etc..and then I told her that my sis might to registration makeup herself and she looked at me as if I was mad or something..therefore it made me feel down that i didnt have my makeup done professionally.
I think your right little things are being triggered ever since my sister is getting married. Before I never used to be like this. But there are some people that didnt like my wedding pics which upset me at the time.
You are not alone in thinking like this; I compare my wedding to other in my hubby's family too. Especially, his sister got married this year in India and they wanted all that fo rher, and said how a Valima was really important and that the dulha's side should go all out etc......I couldn't bring myself to say to them that I got skanked for a Valima - I didn't have one.
Made me start thinking that maybe my side should have been more persuasive and less close to hubby's side before we got married...but the truth is this; (and this may help you too) I loved my hubby from the moment we said yes to the rishta - there was 7 months between baht pakki and shaadi; in that time we got close and as our relationship grew I naturally wanted the best for him. I gave in to a low cost wedding dress, but he went all out on jewellery, he didn't host a valima but my side went all out on making his family and extended family feel so welcome that even to this day the entire family says that they haven't been to a better wedding since (they even said this at my BIL's wedding); we had guests from world over - my family and his (his sister is married to my cousin so it's a bit mixed!), yet at my sisters wedding my family didn't come over, at my BIL's wedding there were no guests from overseas and he got married without his mum even coming over.
Plus, the way I saw it was; I didn't want to start married life in debt, I didn't feel like he was the dulha's side and I couldn't ask him for (or demand) a heavy wedding suit etc as I felt part of him already. On the opposite side, my BIL was demanded for a heavy suit from my cousins side and now they are stuck with a wedding lengha that if they hadn't spent all that money on they could have used that money when they started off life together. In my case, my hubby spent 3 times as much on his wedding suit/outfit than me but he has worn it frequently since then - it's a Armani Suit which of course can be worn to many occasions with just a change of shirt!
What I am trying to say here is there were the good things and there were the bad things....... but the bad things didn't ruin my day, and like I said people loved the wedding atmosphere and our mehmani.
I hav some lovely memories of the day...but also just 2 really bad ones A) that I listened to my nand and didn't hire a cameraman as she said that her cousin who was coming from India would film it as he was really good - so good that he broke my camera in the hall! And so my rukhsati didn't get filmed later that evening! and B) that my sister went off with her friends to the local takeaway delaying my rukhsati and meaning we got to the hotel at 12midnight despite having paid £200 and paid for dinner!!!!!!!
Also, on the other side maybe you have saved yourself from some ghuna; we all know that according to our mazhab it is not necessary to do all this...yet we all are culprits of this ghuna.
I know it's been a huge post but has it helped you understand?
Enjoy your sisters wedding, help her make her day special but don't feel jealous.......you had what was in your naseeb and Allah SWT wrote that in your naseeb for reason.
XX
Re: How to get over my lost wedding tape
BTW...How many times have you watched your wedding tapes in the last 5 years....that will give you the answer how much it is worth to you ? Get over it....worst case senario...Tie the knot again with the same person and get it recorded in HD.
wannabe-mum- thanks for your reply, it really made my understand...but you do feel sometimes the same way as me..I guess most brides do. Did you have professional photography at your wedding and how was the video. I mean you said your camera broke. Was the wedding in pakistan? Inshallah I will get over it and please let me know about that prayer you were talking about to find something that is lost?
Re: How to get over my lost wedding tape
wannabe-mum- how was your sisters wedding? did she have a valima and all the functions? I only had nikah at the mosque without a ruksati, although I had a valima the day after:)