This past year has been really horrible for me and my family; although things are much better I can’t seem to get over the situation. I lost my dad 20 years ago and moved to the US to join my mom’s side of the family. I have considered my mamu (only one mamu,) to be a fatherly figure, and due to some family issues he and his family have decided to disown my mom and her children. No matter what I do, i can’t get over this. It’s been almost a year and I still think about it every day. My mom is too stubborn to say anything, and the situation cannot be resolved without them talking.
My brothers seem to be ok with it. I know my mom isn’t fine, but due to her stubbornness, will not talk about it. I just can’t seem to get over it. I have a very busy life, but even than I every passing moment the thought of my uncle disowning us hurts me. Every family get together (1-2 times a month,) the situation is highlighted by my uncles absence…I have actually considered not attending or having dawats…
Re: How to get over an emotional/stressful situation?
Have you tried talking to your mamu? that is if you feel you or your family could have given him a reason for what he did. OR even if you feel you ought to question him for what he did...it might be late but its never too late. You are better off getting it off your chest then to carry this feeling all along that maybe if I could have tried things could have been better.
Re: How to get over an emotional/stressful situation?
The last text message i got from him...read "i dont' want anything with you, your sibling or your mother"...we are no longer related to him. i have texted him several times since thn, emailed him and called him twice (with no answer.) i think my number has been blocked. So talking to him is not an option.
Re: How to get over an emotional/stressful situation?
yes they both are very stubborn :(
Sweetmoi...i have lost a father before and it feels like losing another one...but he is not dead. I don't believe he sent me that message, or he is the one who blocked me...i think its another member of his family.
Re: How to get over an emotional/stressful situation?
^ Even if it wasn't him who msgd or blocked you, what is he waiting for if he hasn't received a call from you guys? shudnt he be worried and checking up on you himself?
Visit him and put all doubs to rest. Don't let ego come in the way.
Re: How to get over an emotional/stressful situation?
There's no formula to get over things...you just have to let time take its course. Divert your attention. Become self sufficient. Its hard...but not impossible.
I think the person you should talk to is your mom. I think if you have control of any aspect of the situation is there. Maybe talk to your brothers and have everyone sit down with your mom to bring her around to the situation. What about your Mamus children? Are you as cousins all in a good place? If neither of you guys talk then I think the only person you can talk to is your mother. I don't think you can control what your Mamu will do because even if you can make him come around isn't it ultimately between the parents (assumption.) Wouldn't your mothers attitude still ruin it if she is being just as stubborn. I think that would be the first step. If your mother will not listen to you, I mean how can you expect your Mamu too? Your mother needs to realize this is affecting you.
Re: How to get over an emotional/stressful situation?
← rare hug.
sometimes, when you have tried all means possible to reconcile with someone who you hold dear, and it doesn’t work.. it’s just better to move on or give it a lot of time before trying again. your mamu is pretty stubborn, and nothing you will say anymore will have an effect on him.. just leave him alone for a while. he’ll realise eventually that you’re family, and there’s no point in petty year long grudges. if he doesn’t, then it’s his loss. i can also understand that you probably don’t want your mum to get worked up over this, so i don’t think there is any point in mentioning it to her for a while.. besides you said she is also very stubborn. not entirely sure what happened or the details but you seem like a good enough person for trying to mend things. keep that in mind and try to move on/give it time.
Re: How to get over an emotional/stressful situation?
This is one of those very rare times I have felt bad for someone on life1. I haven't read the replies, but you should ignore the usual "get a hobby, keep yourself distracted". Go through the five phases, weather the storm and eventually you will get over it.
Re: How to get over an emotional/stressful situation?
The last text message i got from him...read "i dont' want anything with you, your sibling or your mother"...we are no longer related to him. i have texted him several times since thn, emailed him and called him twice (with no answer.) i think my number has been blocked. So talking to him is not an option.
Even if he had a problem with your mum it's strange (and ott) that he blocked you as well..
Re: How to get over an emotional/stressful situation?
thank you, i really feel bad for my mother.
Believe me I am so busy everyday that i dont have time for a hobby...i have a toddler :) but you are right i will have to go thru the 5 phases... :( hasn't been easy so far...hopefully it will get better.
This is one of those very rare times I have felt bad for someone on life1. I haven't read the replies, but you should ignore the usual "get a hobby, keep yourself distracted". Go through the five phases, weather the storm and eventually you will get over it.
← rare hug.