How to deal with your own family?

[tissues]

Re: How to deal with your own family?

@decentGuy

Sometimes our own beloved families can indeed be extremely illogical. I have a friend who is trying to get married for the last 5 years and has asked his family several times to look for a girl but his family, that lives in another city, has not shown him even a single girl ! His family’s criteria is so paradoxical that 99.999% of humanity does not meet it. Whenever he demands an explanation as to why they are dragging their feet, excuses about being busy, sick or society’s moral turpitude are thrown at him. They also threatened him of not participating at all if he kept pushing them.

A sad thing happened sometime ago. We as friends introduced him to a girl who satisfied his family’s criteria 100%. Both he and the girl wanted to proceed BUT his family changed the criteria as soon as they learned about that and refused to even meet the girl’s family. Girl’s family felt so disrespected and rightly so that they declined to pursue the matter.

He has since decided to pursue suitable rishtas on his own. We as friends, introduced him to few suitable families but as soon as a girl’s family learns that his family will not be participating, they backed off or even misbehaved with him. Unfortunately, due to his family’s stubbornness he’ll have to settle for far less than what he deserves unless he meets someone so understanding that they don’t use his difficult circumstances as a bargaining chip.

Islam teaches us to make marriage easy but unfortunately with all these traditions/rituals we’ve made it super hard.

I can soo relate to all this & I really feel his pain. : (