Its getting on my nerves now. Unfortunately, I am the one who is suffering this and don’t know how to deal with this situation. For some reason we are sharing this house with a family (husband, wife and their lil kid). I cant tell u how messy they are. The girl never cleans the house..infact her own room stinks. They joined us later and created mess around. They keep leftovers on dining table, do not vaccum the living room/ tv room. I keep cleaning the area of outside our rooms and they keep on leaving different things at a corner which should be thrown in garbage like cartons and other stuff. Never cleans the oven & stove and even slabs. I clean the kitchen everytime. I dont have a problem with cleaning, the problem is.. if you can’t clean, you should not mess around too!!
There is a lot more and I am just soooo annoyed.
This morning when I went to the kitchen, she left the sink sticky/ oily and the leftover in the sink strainter!!
whenever I wash dishes, I always clean the sink in very last and make sure to clean the strainer too.
In UK, its common. In big houses, families share and no, the house is big enough to have the privacy. Kitchen is very big too and we dont have trouble working together even. The only problem is, She is sooo messy
Infact, we were living here alone but our owner (who is pakistani too) asked us to adjust a family who are his relatives. Because my husband leaves for work and I was new here, my hubby thought there's nothing bad if they allow him to send a family to live here and I would not suffer the home sickness in his absence. I was fine with too and the girl is good by her nature.
Moreover, searching for a new house from a start is such a tedious task.. and also as his workplace is not too far from here, he is more comfortable living here.
ohhh ok. well have u spoken to her at all? or maybe talk to the owner if u want to avoid the confrontation?
in ur first post it doesnt' sound like you've communicated to her directly, and she doesn't appear to get any hints..so someone (you or the owner of the home) may have to be direct wiht her.
You should talk to her. Make her realize that that's no way of living, esp since her family isn't the one living there.
I mean the least she can do is clean up after her ..thats just common sense
ohhh ok. well have u spoken to her at all? or maybe talk to the owner if u want to avoid the confrontation?
in ur first post it doesnt' sound like you've communicated to her directly, and she doesn't appear to get any hints..so someone (you or the owner of the home) may have to be direct wiht her.
ofcourse, i have not spoken to her directly about this, and thats what I am confused about. How to let her know. Have already brought in my owner's knowledge but he ignored and took no action. Sometimes I feel, its not his relatives but he wanted to earn some more amount!!
Yehi to… common sense!! I feel like smacking my head when see the messy stuff around and feel like.. ITS COMMON SENSE.. she should be doing this!!!
I wanted to say her directly this time to clean the sink but I couldnt get the courage! I dont like making people embarrassed.
Also, to make her realise she should be into house chores, I myself start cleaning things around infront of her.. but it doesnt effect her. Thought it would make her realise that she should also be taking part in managing the house but she doesnt. Her baby stinks too… If I get in her room by mistake I can hardly inhale the atmosphere!!
Could be that they are not his relatives or they are and he cannot say much. It is a very difficult situation you are in. You should say something. It might not be in her nature to be tidy. But if you like things clean and orderly it can be a nightmare. Talk to her. It might help . But there are ppl who like to be clean and others you who just don't care. Try posting a sign over the common areas.
Whatever you do will create a scene or drama. Desi people are usually not the once "you talk to" things out. I'm pretty sure, the girl is going to be very annoyed and angry with you when you mention her hygiene as this is also a sensitive subject. My advice is to move out. However if thats not possible, then be ready for whatever reaction she may throw your way and tell her the truth. If you plan on living with her for some time yet, I doubt you will be able to handle this much longer.
The funny thing is that you and your husband are the tenants. The other people are the landlord's family apparently... so essentially (in desi thinking) you have your 'landlord' living with you. You're not really in a position to say anything!
I think if they were just actual tenants like you guys, he wouldn't have an issue telling them to keep the house clean because it's in his best interest too.
Could be that they are not his relatives or they are and he cannot say much. It is a very difficult situation you are in. You should say something. It might not be in her nature to be tidy. But if you like things clean and orderly it can be a nightmare. Talk to her. It might help . But there are ppl who like to be clean and others you who just don't care. Try posting a sign over the common areas.
like how? tell me!!
Whatever you do will create a scene or drama. Desi people are usually not the once "you talk to" things out. I'm pretty sure, the girl is going to be very annoyed and angry with you when you mention her hygiene as this is also a sensitive subject. My advice is to move out. However if thats not possible, then be ready for whatever reaction she may throw your way and tell her the truth. If you plan on living with her for some time yet, I doubt you will be able to handle this much longer.
Yeah thats what I feel, she is good by now because I have not been saying anything to her and she can see the I am doing it all at my own. Yea, moving at the moment is not possible.. and I want her to know that I am annoyed now!! Even if I speak to directly, how should I do that? any suggestions??
The funny thing is that you and your husband are the tenants. The other people are the landlord's family apparently... so essentially (in desi thinking) you have your 'landlord' living with you. You're not really in a position to say anything!
I think if they were just actual tenants like you guys, he wouldn't have an issue telling them to keep the house clean because it's in his best interest too.
Nah! I strongly believe that they are tenants and not his relatives and he did it to get some more amount. Don't ask me the source :(
Be blunt. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Cleanliness is half of our iman. That probably won't work Bc she probably is not the type to get messages. Just tell her that it is good for child to live in a messy house. It's a bad situation for you. But use your judgement. Some ppl don't mind living in messy house. That's how they were bought up. The landlord is an idiot if he lets somebody ruin his investment property . If they werent family friends why would he not saying.
you should not be scared of speaking up, they should be scared that at sometime you will speak up, and there are only going to be be three possible outcomes. I would take pictures for a few weeks as evidence of before you cleaned, after your cleaned. Talk to your husband in terms of approach, talk to these people or talk to the landlord.
My advise would be to have the proof as just an example of stuff you are dealing with, but keep it in your back pocket, meet with him, explain the situation to him and let him know that as first step you can talk directly to these people, or he can, but if you talk and things dont change then he needs to get involved.
Read up on tenant rights too...in UK tenants have pretty strong rights
1- these ppl change their ways
2- the refuse to, or do some but still not at an acceptable level
3- they make a big scene about it
and then its your decision whether you continue living with such a situation or you move out
She is not doing anything because she knows that you will do it !!
Let be everything the way she leave,when she will come back and will see mess is still there she will do it.
You don't have to clean the mess she has made,leave it like that and she will start clean it .
kinzz has a point...make a bunch of food for a week or two, and freeze it in microwavable containers for a week or so. get a supply of paper plates and cups and plastic forks and knives. when the mountain of gunk accumulates she may do it..or she may not in which case you will be back to my suggestion :D
