my husband is now willing to move to uk, yayy, not just because of my persuausion skills, but also he now has realised himself that his mother isnt fond of me at all and hence theres a uncomtble ambience always.anyway, so said it himself.
but he did say something to me today which im trying to figure out a good answer to.
he said, hes worried about the atmosphere in the uk, alot of vulgarity, people being rude and batameez on buses/trains, and generally a bad non islamic atmosphere.hes fairly religious my husband.
hes worried about his kids or parents going outside and getting mugged/hit/rudeness from people. hes worried he has 2 female kids whatl happen to them, theyl get influenecd from here and there.
i did say, it depends on individual. and each home is different. here in peshawar MEN STARE, alot, i said atleast over there no one looks twice at you unless you dress a certain way.
anyway i need GOOD reasons to asnwer him and make him feel secure, he says he doesnt feel secure about the uk,
his reasons are lost on me, does anyone understand where hes coming from, any one back me up?
BY THE WAY we decided to go uk together, i asked him i wanted to live sep from his mother and he understands why i said it, he said we can only live sepertly in the uk, hence his decision.
There are many doctors, teachers etc who lived in UK their whole life on GS and turned out okay while I know more than few people who live in Pakistan their whole life and drink/party etc.
If you move to a place where it has a large desi community then surely your husband would feel safe about his xenophobia :)?
Nadzz - your last para may be an issue - his reasons lost on you and you are looking for someone to back you up. If you set this up as him vs you that could be problematic. But if you. give him the impression you do know where he is coming from and follow kakees advice you should be ok.
( I would not use xenophobia in discussions though!)
I personally think people in Pakistan are more rude/batameez. But then again, I haven't lived in UK so can't compare, I'm comparing more with North America and Germany. In Pakistan, it's almost impossible to sit in peace on public buses! Men stare at you like a freaken piece of meat! Also, about the mugging - umm, we all know how dangerous Pakistan is, what with the random muggings, robbery, bombing, firing.
i live in the US and i'm assuming UK's the same....i havent seen anyone being rude/badtameez on trains and subways. most ppl mind their own business....have u ever tried traveling on a bus/train in pakistan...men are staring at u even if ur covered from head to toe
how can anyone think their daughters are safe in pakistan...they cant go to school, college, work, malls, or at a frnd's place without u being worried that they might get shot, kidnapped or followed by gross men...who wont stop staring at u anyway.
lets say something happens in pakistan...u get robbed, mugged, hit, murdered....err there's no sense of law. there's no security..you'll have to beg and pay off the cops to do something...at least in the UK u can report a crime and expect some results!
u can dress the way u want in UK..wear minimal clothing or as much as u want...and nobody says anything!
If ur daughters are going to have boyfrnds, drink or party...they will do that in pakistan too...they'll have a cell phone and they'll spend hours talking to random boys in pakistan too...Yeah there's a bit more freedom in the UK but its up to the individual!!! if you dont want to drinnk, party smoke nobody will drag u to any of those places. u can go out of the house safely, go to the masjid and come back safely.
Be a good parent, and your kids will come come out as decent individuals - no matter what corner of the world you live in. You can have terrible party animal drunkard children in Pakistan, UAE, UK, USA... or you can have amazingly religious, righteous and moral children in Pakistan, UAE, UK, USA... it's all up to you and your husband. Sure, environment plays a big role in the upbringing of a child...but if you equip them with confidence and the ability to determine right from wrong, you're in the clear.
I feel there's freedom to live the way you want to.. like karachi, you will find here every kind of communities :@: and they are living with their own culture, by their own standards!! Come here and live the way you want to :D
Living in UK or Pak nowadays says nothing about how your kids may turn out. Pakistan is not the land of angels. Jo kuch UK mein hota hai aankhon ke samne, us se zyada Pakistan mein hota hai darwazon ke peeche.
Pakistan is a heaven where everyone is so safe, girls can stay out as late as they want and no one would dare stare at them...every girl is covered head to toe and they can NEVER dream about looking at na mehram men let alone dating...people are so tameezdaar and woman are treated outside with utmost respect...please tell your husband never to move back to such behaya, lafanga country like UK
Just came back from Lahore after staying two months and let me tell you, everything happens in Pakistan as well. Dating, partying, girls guys kissing in Model Town park, alcohol, lesbians, gays, whatever. You name it, it happens. Girls aren't that safe in Pakistan as well. Like some other poster said, it depends on parenting. You can teach your kids good morals and values, give them a good upbringing despite the place. Also, like someone else said, in Pakistan if someone harasses you, touches your bum or bust, or god forbid worse, unless you are well connected and/or belong to a rich family or daddy, you can't bloody well do nothing. At least in the UK you can report it.
Just a small example: For my first degree, I went to a University which was well known to be a party school. Everyone advised my mum against sending her kids there. All three of her daughters graduated from there and we haven't changed a bit. We didn't let that University affect us. No boy friends, no alcohol, no partying etc. Point is, if you give a strong and solid foundation and a good upbringing, your kids won't falter. Even if they will one day slightly contemplate on doing something wrong, they will remember your teachings and feel guilty. Key is to have an open communication channel with your children. This way, your children will never hide anything from you. Don't be too strict on them or too lax. Have a moderate balance. I am sure you will do a good job raising your two girls iA, be it in the UK.
Another example: This girl I know, her elder sister never married. Got in with the wrong crowd. Started drinking, partying etc. She changed boyfriends every other day. She would be dating someone and sitting in someone else's car. Her mum found out; they snatched her mobile phone, restricted her from staying out late etc. She still found ways and time to continue her bad habits. In the end in frustration her parents shifted the entire family to Karachi thinking that her daughter will act pure and decent. WRONG. She continued her bad habits and found boyfriends in Karachi too. Found underground partying scene and worse, started doing drugs, which she didn't used to do in the UAE. So, yeah there you have it. Moving to Pakistan, or raising your kids in Pakistan doesn't prove anything. You have to raise your kids right. That is what matters.
aur khirki khuli hoti hay 
