Yes but the gal is still able (maybe?) to have a private conversation with her intended prior to the final decision? If I were a guy in this situation and IF virginity were important to me, I would insist upon a private meeting (even if there were aunties in the next room - as long as a private conversation could take place)...kwim? Just to make sure that the important points are covered and understood before marriage.
She is able to but she is not sure about the reaction of this guy that is why she is hesitant.
Virginity is important in desi culture but unfortunately it is automatically assumed due to ignorance of the society. The boy and the family do not dare to ask for the sake of offending the girl and her family. They think it is the duty of the girl and her family to make sure that the girl remains chaste till she is married. They assume that they are getting a sealed package. In that society they still are under the notion that there is no way that a girl will lose her virginity by any other means other than sleeping with someone. They do not still know that some girls may be born non virgin. The only test of virginity in their eyes is that the girl should bleed the first time she sleeps with someone if she does not bleed she is not chaste.