Yes but the gal is still able (maybe?) to have a private conversation with her intended prior to the final decision? If I were a guy in this situation and IF virginity were important to me, I would insist upon a private meeting (even if there were aunties in the next room - as long as a private conversation could take place)...kwim? Just to make sure that the important points are covered and understood before marriage.
She is able to but she is not sure about the reaction of this guy that is why she is hesitant.
Virginity is important in desi culture but unfortunately it is automatically assumed due to ignorance of the society. The boy and the family do not dare to ask for the sake of offending the girl and her family. They think it is the duty of the girl and her family to make sure that the girl remains chaste till she is married. They assume that they are getting a sealed package. In that society they still are under the notion that there is no way that a girl will lose her virginity by any other means other than sleeping with someone. They do not still know that some girls may be born non virgin. The only test of virginity in their eyes is that the girl should bleed the first time she sleeps with someone if she does not bleed she is not chaste.
In that society they still are under the notion that there is no way that a girl will lose her virginity by any other means other than sleeping with someone. They do not still know that some girls may be born non virgin.
i do not understand this. are you being sarcastic? how can a girl be born non-virgin? what other way is there to lose girls virginity other than her sleeping with someone? what are you talking about?
i think mirch is commenting on the fact that a girls hymen can rip due to something other than having sexual relations with someone. Horseback riding, the use of certain sanitary products, sports etc. Sometimes the hymen in certain girls is very thin, and thus rips very easily. In light of these things, the lack of blood on a marriage bed is not a guarentee that a girl has been 'unchaste'.
if she is a muslim,she should do a tobah and stay shut.i read about a similar question at islam-qa.com too.it was suggested not to lie either but not to initiate in disclosing.
I guess Islam has asked not to spread words if it can create “fasad” in the society and relationships and that really does not mean that you have to lie. Just keep your mouth shut unless asked. As per Hazar Ali , Jitna kam bolo utna hee behter hai
i think by hiding such a big fact upfront and then the spouse finding after marriage is a bigger problem then facing a rejection upfront by telling, wat i mean by dat is key if you mention wat has happened upfront then its upto the person if they wanna go ahead i know its going to be tough but then again it will make your future as well as your present happy, but if you hide it now you will always have this guilt and fear key someday your spouse will find out and **** will hit the ceiling, wat then, rejection mein to yeh hoga key kuch honay sey pehlay hee aar ya paar ho jaayega and then u can say EK NAHI TO KOI AUR SAHEE KOI AUR NAHI TO KOI AUR SAHEE or somin like dat. :D
Ask Z if he ever fractured a bone, if he says yes, tell him, "you had a fractured bone, i had a fractured hymen"
well then it can be like, you have an open mind, i have an open V*
I guess these posts warrant a troll alert . People you are wasting your time now with Icono bhai , he is just kidding , he is not serious about this thread.
you know this is a good way to get out of a relationship if u dont want to go through the hassle of a breakup, tell the dude beforehand that ur not a virgin (can be true or not), if he leaves good for u (and he dint deserve u to begin with), if he stays , you're screwed (literally..:D
hi all...i am quite surprised by what most guppies have replied here..which simply goes to show their beliefs..
Now I know theirs a certain amount of open mindness you are required, but to accept the immoral as moral is another matter. Saying that we live in the 21st century and we should accept this as the norm, well my friend you have already crossed the borders of morality. You no longer posses the ability to know the difference between what is right and what is wrong.
Ofcourse you can take this further by saying "how do you know what is right and wrong". I could reply because it says so in the holy book. But instead I would say this "ask you self the same question, why is it that deep down inside you feel it is wrong, you feel that having sexual relation only feels right with the one you are supposed to be for the rest of your life". Obviously if you dont get that answer then you have given into the world of desire and pleausure. (dont give me the live and let live bull ****, you half a$s pricks dont even understand what it truely means).
To my friend who started this thread I say. If she feels the need to tell his man to be, then she has to confront it before getting married. The reason why she even has this thought shows she wont be able live without confessing. If he is caring and understanding, he will understand, if ofcourse your friend herself understands the mistake she did.
On the assumption that she really is repenting, and her man bashes out and breaks up, well then, consider that as a sign that it was probably better the two were not meant to be as he turned out to be a jerk!
the couple in question are indian? okay, i think the guy already has an idea then. Maybe he's just playing a fool with her and knows already. tell her to keep her secret under the carpet.
, Jitna kam bolo utna hee behter hai