A nice gal C is engaged to nice boy Z and they plan to marry next year. C had a relationship in past and is not virgin. She has probed Z and he maintains that he has never been in any serious relationship and has never been laid. He isotherwise very open minded person.
C has decided to tell Z that she is not virgin. But she does not know how to tell Z.
Plz suggest how shud she approach the issue with Z.
Re: How to break the news
She can sit down with him and have a talk, person to person. How else.
Re: How to break the news
She should ask, how do like driving on free way.
Re: How to break the news
^^ good one !
here http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-relationships/298244-girls-non-virgin-bride-dilemma.html
you may find this useful.
Re: How to break the news
u’ll probably get same replies as given in this thread
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-relationships/298244-girls-non-virgin-bride-dilemma.html
[FF , has already mentioned that]
Re: How to break the news
If I had a dime every time A pak girl pull that stunt on her husband, I would be richer than Bill-Gates.
Re: How to break the news
It’s a mili hui saazish among the men, I see.
Re: How to break the news
Million $ question is where is the GUY she is bn F-en around. She should go marry him.
That If there was only one guy.
lol
finally you got it.
hahaha
Re: How to break the news
just one thought , for a girl (as well as boy) who have had bf in the past and now is about to marry somebody else,
is it really that hard to tell yr spouse-to-be about yr past affair than to sleep with/ have affair with someone ?
Re: How to break the news
JimmyKimbel, the couple in question are Indian.
Re: How to break the news
idk,,,i think that if it were IMPORTANT to the guy, he'd ASK yeah? Are you a virgin? Have you had previous sexual experiences?
If he DOESNT ask then perhaps he doesnt want to know. OR its not important to him. My advice to the gal? Shut yer mouth, answer with honesty when and IF asked - otherwise silently count your blessings.
May they find happiness and peace.
Re: How to break the news
not asking may equal not wanting to know/not being important,,, but what if the person doesn't ask because they don't think there is even a remote possibility of the other person not being a virgin?
maybe im just too naive, but really i have to tie in the other thread which asks how someone can actually sleep with another person pre-martially and not want their skin the crawl off the next day lol
n e way best of luck
Re: How to break the news
jlone, in the same vein, one could very well ask "how can one marry a person they dont know - how can they have sex on marriage night with a stranger? One who (they HOPE) is a virgin but no way to know for sure and since you do not know that person yourself....well you put yourself in a pretty vulnerable situation yeah?
I"m not critisizing here. Arrangements are a fact of life and many times they are a NICE fact of life. But they are infused with MANY unknowns. So if theres something that you want to know and if its something thats important to you then YOU HAVE TO ASK.
Re: How to break the news
your right, i didnt think of it like that
man this whole marriage thing is scary-- too many unknowns , sigh
Re: How to break the news
In desi community it is not as black and white as just him not asking and after wedding he asks and she tells the truth , and then everybody lives happily ever after. It does not work that way in desi culture.
She has to tell him now or never ever . If he does not ask it does not mean that he does not want to know. He cannot dare to ask this kind of question.
It was not easy for her to lose her virginity to someone earlier on. He must have created a whole racket to achieve his goal.
If she initiated in first case then now after realizing that she has done something very bad now she cannot be open enough to tell this other guy that she slept with someone earlier on.
If she feels like telling this guy upfront then she should be ready for rejection. If she tells him after their wedding she should be ready for a divorce. Both of those might not happen but she should be mentally prepared.
This guy might be open and honest and nice and this and that but he might not be so open minded as a bf or a husband to accept a girl who has slept with someone with her own free will. On the flip side he might be so nice and forgive and forget she will find out only when she tells him. If she is willing to take the risk she should go ahead and tell him. But she might risk that once he finds out and breaks up with her , he might go and spread the news to prove that it is not his fault that they broke up. Again she cannot find out until she tells him.
Re: How to break the news
IDK mirch. My hubby went thru some rishta interviews and he was always honest. Because he KNEW that the rest of his life depended upon the honesty or dishonesty of his answers, he was brutally honest with his "interrogators" (for lack of a better term lol)
Anyway, like I said...if theres something/ANYTHING thats important to you to have in a life partner then you need to ask. Most or at least many people can tell when lies are being told. I dont care if its about virginity or alcohol use or pork-eating or WHATever...if its IMPORTANT to YOU then you need to ASK!!!
IDK mirch. My hubby went thru some rishta interviews and he was always honest. Because he KNEW that the rest of his life depended upon the honesty or dishonesty of his answers, he was brutally honest with his "interrogators" (for lack of a better term lol)
Anyway, like I said...if theres something/ANYTHING thats important to you to have in a life partner then you need to ask. Most or at least many people can tell when lies are being told. I dont care if its about virginity or alcohol use or pork-eating or WHATever...if its IMPORTANT to YOU then you need to ASK!!!
MO3 , desi is a male dominated culture still , he could afford to be brutal and honest , but a desi girl/women has to think hundreds of times before she opens her mouth specialy in a case like this one. I am sorry to say all this but it is the truth , I am a man but I am answerable to Allah so I am being honest and brutal too.
Re: How to break the news
Yes but the gal is still able (maybe?) to have a private conversation with her intended prior to the final decision? If I were a guy in this situation and IF virginity were important to me, I would insist upon a private meeting (even if there were aunties in the next room - as long as a private conversation could take place)...kwim? Just to make sure that the important points are covered and understood before marriage.
Re: How to break the news
think of it this way, if the guy will dump her b/c she is up front and honest abt her past, well ten they dont deserve each other any waY.
shoot i never thot i'd take this position