How to be indifferent?

[BusyBee]

Re: How to be indifferent?

@mizsani

I am sorry you are going through all of this. You just need to stand up for yourself. Your hubby should have a talk with his parents but I highly doubt he will do that. My Mil tried to do the same thing with me.
When I first got married, she would come with me EVERYWHERE!!! Like even if I was going to get tomatoes or milk or something. She even came with me to a brunch with my mom. Which was very awkward. I simply stopped telling her that I was going anywhere. I would grab my bag and leave, and on my way out I would say allahaffiz. She would ask me where I am going, and I would answer politely and she would ask me to wait for her to get ready. Eventually, I started walking out of the door and whispering allahafiz before leaving. Or I would leave when she would take her mid-afternoon nap. I did spend a lot of time locked up in my room because I just wanted to stay away from her. But you can simply leave. If she creates drama later, just tell her that you were in a rush.

She would want to come with hubby and I on our dates. Then I asked hubby if he could spend some time with me alone and he simply told her that he wanted to take me out alone. After a few times she stopped asking to come with us. Perhaps, you can ask your hubby to take you out more often.

My situation got a lot better once my college started because I was too busy to deal with her and if I needed to do anything, I could tell her that I needed to go do something college related. You should get a job and stop worrying about what she says. Start volunteering somewhere or start going to the gym so you would have an excuse to leave. Visit your parents more. Go to a friend’s house. Start decorating your room so you are busy and not thinking about her. Read a book on your downtime instead of running her b.s. in ur head all the time. Go away for the weekend with hubby.
You ahem to convince him to let you stay at your parent’s for a few days. Tell him that it is needed and you can cook 2 days food before leaving. Ask hubby to get food from outside for a couple of days.
Do you have any siblings? Maybe you can share your situation with them?

You’re right, he’ll never have a “talk” with them, he already told me that! He’s very quiet type, doesn’t say much to them even if they say something wrong to HIM. Like, one time when they weren’t staying with us…he was busy with work and didn’t call them for two days. They called and told him so much stuff and told him “tum to biwi ke hi ho kar reh gaye ho” and he replied with “aur sunayen ammi”…like he didn’t even correct them saying that during those 2 days he was so busy that he didn’t come till 1 AM at night…what biwi ka ho ke?!

      I would leave, but she says ruko main bhi aati hun. I can't say I'm getting late coz usually she just leaves in her abaya, which is hanging and she just gotta put it on in a minute. I've done that before (mom told me this trick too) and she took less than a minute to "get ready" lol. And yup, we hadn't had a "date night" in 7 months until this month when they left. OMG, you won't believe this one---she doesn't watch movies, barely understands english movies. One time hubby and I wanted to go to the movies and she wanted to come with us!! Hubby told her ammi you won't understand....and you know what she said...."movies dekhna haraam hai, woh bhi english n theater mein"....like wth woman, you wanted to come with us! So basically, because we said no to her and she started lecturing it's haraam lol. It doesn't help that FIL starts to join her in all the tantrums and takes her side! Sometimes, I make myself feel better by thinking she really has some psychological problems, really. 

I’m really contemplating on getting a job now. I’m just worried what if I do get pregnant, then go thru all her drama, and the job will really make me crazy again during pregnancy. Another funny thing, whenever I decided to go to mom’s (she lives in a diff city), cousin’s (diff city), or anything “time consuming”, SIL (diff city) decided to come over for 2-3 weeks! God forbid if I leave the house when SIL’s over coz who’s gonna cater to her “farmaishes” then?

I just have a little brother who’s 15…I can’t share much with him. Although, he does hear when mom’s talking to me and mom tells me he tells her that I should leave this house lol.