Re: How to Balance between Mother and Wife?
I just noticed the following parts of the OP which I didnt think of much before but since more & more people are thinking that the mother is the evil one, I need to mention these (quoting from original post):
My family is highly educated.
My wife is staying at her parents home for her remaining education after marriage.
***My mum is extremely supportive of her education ,very humble ,very open minded and polite.
I am too simple and say things which make her cry.
Mom n dad adviced me once :don’t stay longer at your inlaws ,but i dont agree.
I get to meet meet my wife after whole week so i can’t help myself.
Being furious on this i inquired why and she dind’t confirm but she gave me a hint that my mum is worried about my tiredness due to constant travelling.
To this my mum started crying and said*** if you guys want to live alone then u can do so***.
Now i don’t know what i would say or do which will make me a good son.
Now I think that just like everyone here, the OP, by default, is under the impression that the parents especially his mother is evil because she is telling him to control himself & spend less time at inlaws. In his post, he himself is making the mother look like the bad guy. Too much influence of crappy dramas I guess.
He himself admits that he belongs to a “highly educated” family & his mother is “extremely supportive” of his wife’s education, “very humble ,very open minded and polite”. He also said that his mother has no objection on her son & DIL living alone independently. Why is it the all of us here cannot understand that the problem here is NOT the son spending time with his wife but spending time at the INLAWS. His parents tried to tell him that but he “cant help” himself. He speaks of getting furious when his wife tried to tell him the same thing using different set of words. Now this being a new marriage, the ‘furious’ side of him must be new to wife which probably scared her & she ultimately made his mother’s concern of his tiredness the reason for why she told him that. Obviously, being a new bride, she would not want to give her ‘very keen’ husband an impression that she is the one who does not want to see him so often. Because she surely can see that the husband is simply not ‘getting’ the message. So to avoid being looked at as the bad guy, the wife had no option but to put all the blame on his mother’s concern of his well being to get the message across as politely as she could to avoid being lashed out at since he was “furious” when she told him to spend less days with her. Notice again that neither the mother nor the wife ‘blamed’ the OP for anything. They are trying to get a very simple message across, “SPEND LESS TIME AT THE INLAWS”. Not saying “SPEND LESS TIME with your WIFE”.
Why is it that the OP himself and many posters here are viewing this highly educated family & his very supportive open minded mother with the same glass that the indian / geo dramas show us the JAHIL, troubles making, narrow minded, evil families & mothers with??? I think again it is because of too much negative influence of the TV and useless crap being shown which affects & makes our subconscious.
So, @humanityfirst
Please live upto your nick & sort this issue by renting someplace in your wife’s city for the weekend you want to spend with her. Arrive at your inlaws spend few hours or the evening with them, take your wife to your rented place or whereever you wanna, upto you, for the remaining days of the weekend. Drop her back at the inlaws the same day or night you intend to leave. Spend few hours or a night at the inlaws before leaving for your city. This arrangement will cool everyone down including you. If after this, your parents still tell you to spend less time with your wife then we’ll think of another solution. Most probably, after this, more than anyone else, it will be you who would wanna spend less time with your wife & more with your parents :cb: ( :devil: )
This is your only solution which would calm down everyone (including you). All the politics will die instantly & everyone will have a peaceful sleep. It is only your hormones creating the tension between your wife/mother, not your mother or anyone else.
How to free the young’nes from the influence of those evil, caring and clinging parents.”. 
