well my fiancee’s sister is undergoing some major issues in her life. and she needs some advice now. he has suggested her to call me and talk to me abt things.
I want to help her out and on the same time be aware of the potential consequences my statements can have for me later on. I have previously adviced her very well and later been told by her that I am “chalaak” leaving me very frustrated over the behaviour.
Now the situation is that she found out that her husband whom she is separated from is looking for rishtas at the same time as his family is negotiating for him to come back and he was supposed to move in quiet soon and at the same time he is talking to another girl about marriage and suggested to meet her the same day as he was supposed to move in.
Now I really want her to be firm on her decision as she wishes to divorce her husband but am afraid that I might get to hear something some time later since she is getting insecure about her wishes and plans…
I wouldn't say anything. If he really wants you to be there for his sister, you can offer to just listen to her or take her mind off of it, but I would not offer any advice. If anything goes wrong in her life, you will be the first one she will blame.
Well she is gonna call soon as her brother told her that I will be the best to give advice. He told me that after he had told her to call.And I dont wanna tell him off cuz I do want to support him and his family.
Their mother is totally against her divorce and my involvement will only mean problems with my mil later on.
I want to be careful and yet I feel like being dragged into a very dramatic situation.
We dont live in same country so the only communication is over mail or phone and its very difficult being silent as it can be perceived as being careless about the whole situation.
So? Tell your husband the truth, that it's not your place to say advise her on what to do. And if he doesn't respect that you are watching out for your own best interests [as you dont want to get in trouble wit MIL] well tell him to eff off lol
hmmm its a difficult situation as he is her ONLY support and since he is abroad these days he told me that his sis wud be in the best hands by calling me and getting my advice.
isnt it very rude to tell him that i wanna stay out of it when he is putting so much trust in me?
No its not, you're ultimately looking out for yourself and you have EVERY RIGHT to do that and he needs to respect that. You can go ahead and advise her out of guilt and responsibility bu tthen don't cry and whine when she double crosses you and hurts you and your MIL hates you for giving her daughter bad advice.
Okay atleast u ca listen to her and offer ur "moda"(shoulder) and tell her that being away from the country ur not really the best person to offer advice. U can tell her that u will support her whenever she needs etc.
juz listen to her, console her, ask her wats her plan but DO NOT offer advice.
tell her ur with her wateva her decision and make sure u talk to mil abt da situation.
^ well in da first place ur doing this for ur future husband and his family. knowing tat she might make remarks like ur "chalaak" in future... its best tat ur mil knows wat her daughter is thinking and planning.
keep ur fiance updated as well if u hav to :D