My 3 year old started his playgroup school last week. He has not adjusted and settled in there yet and makes a whole lot of fuss every morning from the moment i try to wake him up and he whines and cries all the time in the school as well. His teacher tells me to pick him in 2 hours instead of 4 hours which is the school timings. ( I dont know if this is what they should be doing rather than trying to keep him busy and involved there)
I put him in bed early, which makes about 10-11 hours of sleep. I bathe him every morning so that he is fresh. He chooses his dress everyday as well. (my sister’s son is in his class as well and he seems fine MA and didnt fuss about going to school after initial 2-3 days).
I got concerned this morning when I woke him up and the first thing he said was ’ I dont want to go to school. teacher yells at me’. I tried telling him that she gets upset because you cry all the time but he kept resisting and my husband had to literally pull him out of the door ! I went to pick him in 2 hours and he was crying. I tried talking to his teacher about him being scared of her but she didnt really talk much and just said ’ bachay aisay hee kartay hain, settle ho jayega’
AND then I asked my nephew about it and he told that the teacher warned my son that she’ll lock him in the closet if he doesnt stop crying !
My son is asleep now and he is waking every few minutes crying that he doesnt want to go tomorrow. I have been really strong since last week but I think I cannot take it anymore.
So, I know I should talk to his teacher but that seems useless because teachers here in pakistan are hardly qualifed for teaching. (no, I am not sending him to a bad school). And if I talk to the coordinator, I fear that the teacher will surely develop a grudge and will treat him worse ! They dont allow parents to go beyond the reception, so going to his class to see what are they doing is out of question. I really want to see how do they treat him when he enters the class crying do they greet him or do they make faces and ignore him ? ( there are 2 teachers, both seem moti housewives-turned-teachers to me. They made my nephew’s birthday chocolates,caps,goodie bags and jiuces that my sister sent disappear 2 days back and they lied to my sister that they distributed everything amongst kids.My sister dropped her camera for pictures and they said they didnt know how to operate it and they celebrated the birthday without any pics. bhooki chor aur jhooti kaheen ki. arghh..i am so upset !! )
How should I deal with it ? or is it too early to be concerned ? do children take this long to adjust ? or is it not too long yet ?? HELP !!
your son will never adjust cuz his teacher has made his class a hostile environment for him. either he needs a new friendly teacher that wil treat him with kindness, or a new school. if it were in a western country, i would have said talk to principal, but knowing its pakisatn, its not gonna accomplish anything, but it definately doesnt hurt to try. first tell the teacher that she will not threaten your son in any way and must work to make sure your son settles in, if she continues being scary, talk to the principal.. if nothign works, change schools. atleast you will have done everything.
My 3 year old started his playgroup school last week.
I really dont think that its neccessary to send a 3 years to a school. I dont think its fair to them. They need mommy at that time, no teacher can replace mommy.
ufff… poor child. I see red flags… the teacher has to help the child overcome his fear, all children cry but if they like the environment they do settle down in a couple of weeks. And the teacher told him that she will lock him in the closet? I** would go to school and raise hell if they said that to my child**… This experience will also instill dislike for school in him. Take him out of there ASAP after making a huge scene with the principal. Do report the teacher, please.
If you still want him to go to a playgroup/school type of setting, find another one… I’ve discovered that in Pakistan, the smaller schools with less kids are better than the big reputable ones, especially for younger kids since the teachers give more attention to the kids and the principals also have more time to get involved. Good luck.
proto may be he's just not ready yet. don't push it any further.either get his room changed or take him out and get ur refund if u can. u can certainly confront the teacher and report it. its ur right as parent and if she keeps any future grudges u can keep an eye on that. he's giving u very clear signals. u should not ignore them. he's not happy and thats wat he's showing.
TLK bhai, yes they need mommy but 3-4 hours away from mommy are not too bad. At this age kids also need more socialization… my daughter loved going to school at that age and still does. Even the days I work from home, she wants to go to school… she prefers that over staying with me as she says “I miss my friends mama and I will miss the homework” (which amazes me, I hated homework when I was in school ).
I really dont think that its neccessary to send a 3 years to a school. I dont think its fair to them. They need mommy at that time, no teacher can replace mommy.
it depends on the child too. my older daughter went to play school since age 2 and she liked it. it helped her develop her social and language skills. but my younger one won't even stay with a child care centre at the gym. so i won't rush her until she's ready. i think being ready is the key here.
^ She just gets these papers with Alphabets for tracing... they're learning how to write upper case and lower case alphabets currently :)
And sometimes an art project to do with me... which is a lot of fun for both of us to do together :D
She's in a private school, maybe thats why there's homework :) and she's four and a half and has started Kindergarten, they assessed her and felt she was ready. She is kind of advanced for her age, maybe because I spend all my time after work with her on educational stuff... like taking her to the library, reading together, etc.
I agree ladies but this only works if the kid is liking it (as in mabrook’s daughters case) … If its creating adverse affect on the kid then maybe its not the right time for him/her to go to school.
my MIL who was a teacher told me that the caretakers eat or steal kids food and the kids would be hungry and it was hard for me to believe this ..now listening to what happened to your nephew, I believe it is all true.
I dont know what to day proto .. we dont have this kind of mahool here. Teachers are properly trained. They dont say such things, it only makes matters worse. Now I believe that you should look for another school (playgroup) .. as this one seems to be a bit wierd.
^^ Agree with SB - I think you need to change schools ASAP because this one definitely doesn't have any nice teachers or properly trained one. You might not find the properly trained ones in Pak at this stage anyways. No point in throwing away money and instilling a lifelong fear in your child of schools and teachers in general.
Proto: Run and Run fast from the school and teachers that cannot properly school a 3 old child. 3 year olds need attnetion and love and discipline without yelling, screaming .
Your sons fears and concerns are valid. A child takes about 5-7 days to adjust but with each day it should get better and not worse.
My daughter was 2 when she started school and after a week she loved it. We had a open door policy so I could drop in whenever in the classroom.
This is not an easy transiition for the child SO you need to be 100% confident in the teachers, the management and the school that you choose. If you think it's an adjustment issue - why not try having a playdate at a cousins's house or somewhere else. If he has the same concerns than you know he need to come out of his social shell but I don't think that's the case.
I would change the school if you don't have confidence in the teachers.
Too early to send him to school, my son has also just started, he will be 4 in 2 months. But having a friendly teacher makes a lot of difference. First day he cried and was still crying when we left. He didnt speak the whole day. When i went to pick him, he was wearing some other kids shoes (switched at playtime). I asked him about his shoes, he walked upto teacher and said, teacher these are not my shoes and she was dumbfounded, she said, she thought he doesnt know Englsih bcoz the whole day, whenever she talked to him he just looked the other way. Next day he started crying in the car, we had to carry him to class. He didnt want me to leave the class, but teacher came upto him and gave him a Ben10 sticker and he told me okay you can go now. When my wife picked him, he called me on phone and said Dad i didnt cry today. This wouldnt have happened without teachers help.
I would suggets talk to the school administration, get him to another class and if he still doesnt settle, give him a break.
for those who think it is too early to send him to school, it is actually a playgroup that I am sending to, but they call it a 'school' anyways.
He was a bit better this morning than yesterday. I still am going to talk to their coordinator directly about my concerns rather than telling her against the teacher myself because my sister has already talked to her about it indirectly by complaining that her son is scared of the teacher because the teacher was yelling at a crying boy that she will lock him up. We thought this would be better rather than me going and complainig against her directly.
My schooling was not done here in pakistan and my husband thinks I am being more sensitive because these are the norms here in every school :( Still I want to try making things easy and good for my child by every means.
^ proto- change your son's school ! I don't think it's a nice place to send your kid . From what you have said I don't think the teachers are very nice and qualified.
For everyone who thinks 3 years is an early age ....it's not .....not atleast in Pakistan. All children start going to school at the age of 3 over here. If you don't you will later have a hard time getting your kid enrolled in a good school. Infact kids are sent to play group at the age of 1.5 or 2 and they start Montessori or kindergarten at the age of 3 years.
Proto if I am correct you are a doctor. If your son is so scared why don't you do home schooling to him for atleast 1 year.
I am really feeling bad for your son. What he must be feeling when his teacher told him that she will lock him up. Don't send him to such school where they have such stupid teachers.
I will try to dig in some info on schools in Lahore. If I get any I will let you know.
I've taught in an elementary school in Lahore for a bit, and this is NOT the way to treat little kids. True there are good teachers and bad and they come and go, but you need to change schools or if they have sections for the same nursery class, ask them to put him in another section.
I have been really strong since last week but I think I cannot take it anymore.
I** would go to school and raise hell if they said that to my child**… This experience will also instill dislike for school in him. Take him out of there ASAP after making a huge scene with the principal. Do report the teacher, please.
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