Menstruation/periods?What’s the proper age for that?And how should moms talk about that with their daughters?
Re: How should girls be initially taught about
well its simple tell them everything clearly,instead of making stories.my mom told me in a straight forward way that every gal has to have it so dont panic:@: well i was much bettter as compaired to my classfellows who fainted when they had it.
Re: How should girls be initially taught about
As they grow older they get curious. Like when I'm not doing namaaz consistently for a few days, my 6 year old always asks me why. So lately I told her that women get a break every month from Allah mian and when she grows older she will understand. And when she is older, she will understand and I will tell her. She will also find out at school...perhaps even before I tell her!
Most schools start educating girls on menstruation starting in the 5th grade. Because many girls begin to menstruate in the 6th grade (some in 7th), so they're prepared before hand.
I teach, so I'm basing it on that. When I used to teach 4th grade, a few of my students were already aware of it.
So......I would say 5th grade (age 11) would be a good time to start. Every girl develops differently, and there are actually girls who begin to menstruate irregularly and even regularly as early as 11.
I've read that a good strategy parents use when discussing awkward subjects is to ASK your child what they ALREADY know about the topic (or have heard about the topic)..........BEFORE discussing it. Because kids get their information from other kids and even the media, so sometimes they already have a little general knowledge about the subject. This can break the ice a bit and help make the situation a little less uncomfortable. And also, ask if they have any questions or concerns during/after the discussion.
You can refer to books to get ideas. The school nurse/PE teacher usually explains the reason for menstruation, characteristics, symptoms, what to use (napkins/tampons), overall changes in body development, implications of menstruation (irregular periods, pregnancy, safe sex) etc. As a parent, of course, you would use your judgment as to how you should explain menstruation, for example incorporating Islamic guidelines and rules.
Over all, young girls tend to handle the discussion aspect well. Actually dealing with the monthly visits from Aunt Flow are far more annoying than any discussion mommy or the nurse or the pe teacher can conduct, LOL:)
Re: How should girls be initially taught about
Someone mentioned above that girls by age 11 should know ===========> well not anymore!!!!
Just last week my 10 year old niece had her first period! Seriously. She will be 11 years old in August.
I was left speechless - when my 6 and 7 year old witnessed why she needed a change!
I found out about periods from my friends and cousins when i was about 8-9...but when i got them for the first time it completely slipped out of my mind and when i saw blood i thought i got hurt because i fell on the floor a night before i got them...for a day i was like why am i bleeding and since it was really less i still couldn't figure out but yea i did take my mums napkins without telling her but on the second day when it became heavy duty i freaked out...after 7 days when it ended my cousin told me she got her and then i realized that i had started as well...funny when i told my mum she was like so thats where my pads went and i was wondering why a full pack suddenly had only 2 pads left...quiet embarrassing.
Re: How should girls be initially taught about
[QUOTE]
Someone mentioned above that girls by age 11 should know ===========> well not anymore!!!!
Just last week my 10 year old niece had her first period! Seriously. She will be 11 years old in August.
[/QUOTE]
Ya I think 11 is too old, you dont want to put it off that late and then the poor kid gets it at 10 and freaks out thinking she is dying! I guess you have to check with your own kid, their maturity level etc, but I guess by 9, or 10 latest they should have at least some understanding, so that they are prepared in case it does happen, or in case their friends get it and start talking to them about it which can confuse them too. And definitely parents should explain everything properly so the kids dont have to rely on misinformation from peers
Re: How should girls be initially taught about
My mother never talked about it with us and so it was sorta taboo in our house... even my older sister didnt tell me so I never knew what the hell it was. I had heard that word 'period' before in school amongst the girls but never really tried to find out what it was. All they said was you find out once a month that you're not pregnant. I still thought babies were made by mommy praying so I would constantly worry about how I would know if im pregnant or not.
I got mine when I was 11-- I thought I was dying and had some horrible disease or something. I was able to hide it from my mother for about 4 months I think (or was it more?) until she finally realized what I was going through one day when I had horrible cramps and just couldnt get out of bed.
Boy was it a relief to know that I was normal and going through something every girl goes through. No longer had to buy a roll of toilet paper and hide it in my bookbag every month.
Ohmigosh, this is such a problem in desi homes! I grew up SOOO conservative my dad actually had me pulled out of all Health classes in school and in Bio, I was not to touch the reproductive chapter. I studied amphibians (Ill never forget) while everyone else was learning about the birds and the bees.
When I got my period, I didnt know what a period was…I thought I had blood cancer and was dying because I was cramping so badly. The teacher was Mr Ford, our science teacher and he understood what had happened but I didnt. He took my books and me to the nurse’s office and left me there. I called my dad and he thought I had a stomach ache so he brings me TUMS!!! Oh, the embarassment! :o My nurse looked at me curiously and while I took my TUMS and asked me if I knew what was going on. I said yes, I think Im dying and I have to go home and tell my mom. She kind of smiled, wrote out a note, sealed it and told me to give it to my mom. I went home, called my mom at work and poured my heart out to her…crying the whole time. Meanwhile, my khala had picked up the phone and heard it all (I was sobbing so loudly) and blurts out to my mom “Mubrak ho Baji, bachi bardi hogayi”!!! 
Re: How should girls be initially taught about
^ haha that is both cute and sad at the same time. I went through the same exact thing, and when my mom finally took the chance to explain to me… well, she more or less asked me… “tumhay patta hai na yeh kyun hora hai” … durffff! how am I supposed to know? nobody bothered explaining to me 
I just told her yes I know, I’m dying… God is punishing me for not kehna-maaning you. She burst out laughing, but I was and still have never been amused by all that. It was seriously nerve wracking! Everytime it would end i’d be like oh joy, maybe im getting better… wham… a couple weeks later… I would be dying again… God the samjhotay Allah mian heard from me!
wow - some of you actually went WITHOUT telling your mom for couple of months???
^That must have been tragic coping with it - and thinking you have blood cancer and dying.
This topic is a taboo in my mom’s home too. I was the eldest and only daughter - the rest brothers - so my mom never bothered explaining it.
HECK I DID NOT EVEN KNOW women have HAVE BREASTS!!! :omg:Cause where we lived - all women wore really lose fitting clothes -never tight that you can see or imagine anything!! aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/images/editor/menupop.gif
I know all you grown up boyz will be reading this - can you tell us about YOUR growing pains? 
I know all you grown up boyz will be reading this - can you tell us about YOUR growing pains? :)
Open up a new thread for that ...... We dont wanna disturb you ladies here :)
btw lotzzzz of RESPECT for all you girls for going through this stuff.
I got mine when I was 11-- I thought I was dying and had some horrible disease or something. I was able to hide it from my mother for about 4 months I think (or was it more?) until she finally realized what I was going through one day when I had horrible cramps and just couldnt get out of bed.
I thought I had blood cancer too! (like in the movies) - nobody told me what it was. I was so confused.
I blame my mom till this day - atleast she could have talked about it telling me that it was normal - everyone gets it. I was ashamed and scrared. She gave me pad and told me to wear it.
My little sister made fun of me saying why did she need that - does she poop in her pants!
ahhh - the idolestants years!
Re: How should girls be initially taught about
it should b told in the age of 10 i feel, to make them ready for they dont take it as a major issue, because i have seen a lot of girls crying and worrying and taking tensions when they see such a change in them. so a mother should, wisely, tell them about this mentioning every girl suffers by this and so its not something terrible!
Re: How should girls be initially taught about
yes i think 10 is a good age to start. Girl now a days are getting their period earlier and earlier because they are growing up much more faster.
Re: How should girls be initially taught about
just like the others girls here...i too thgt. i was dieing ... started when i was 10 n a 1/2 :(
so young...no sisters or a cousin living with us, i remember on my third day i hand washed my undies and put them up on a chair in my room to dry (didn't want my mom to find out i was dieing so i handwashed em)...of course my mom saw them asked me if they were mine n i told her yes n that i m really sick and she told me not to mention it to anyone and explained all the fine details.
of course i didn't tell anybody..not my cousins or friends...so when my khala said to my mom Mubrak ho Baji, bachi bardi hogayi...i was so mad at my mom for telling my khala when i haven't told anybody.
crazyness...i will make sure my daugther knw whats coming for her.
Re: How should girls be initially taught about
Aww you poor thing!! That must have been terrifying at the time, but hey at least it makes for a funny story now hugs
Re: How should girls be initially taught about
PSquared - your story is just way too cute. 
Okay my turn: I got it when I was 11. I had pains in my lower back and totally clueless. I had never heard of periods/menstruation before. I bled for 2 days straight and did absolutely nothing about it. Menarche wasn’t very heavy for me - very light bleeding the first time. Anyway, second day I came home from school and my mom had detected stains on my PJs. Talk about embarrassment. To add insult to injury, she started giving me a lecture on how unhygienic I must be to go around for 2 days without wearing a pad.
Anyway, then she told me all about it and how everyone gets it, every single woman and I was like even aunties and moms? My mom was like
Re: How should girls be initially taught about
Mom's who do not talk to their daughters ahead of time is simply - too much.
I mean, I remember when I got my period (age 12) - I was dead scared of seeing blood - and I knew I did not get hurt with something to cause the bleeding. My mom told the neighbor aunty about it - and the aunty smiled at me and said, "now you must take good care of yourself. Eat healthy n' stuff".
My expression at that was so dumb. I was just taking in the information she said without understanding what had happened. Since my mom did not say anything and had a quirky smile on her face - I was feeling embarrassed and did not ask anything either.
My mom was too shy and did not tell me anything. She just shyly gave me a pad. THAT was it!!!!!!!
I too am mad at my mom till this day about this (obviously she has no clue that I'm still hung up on that). :)
My daughter is 7 yrs old. I have been thinking about how to tell her too - cause who know in 3 years when she is 10 - she might get it. I worry sometimes, what if at that time I am not around (death or just whatever) (ya ya ya - i’m not old but you never know)
I have not told her yet - although just last week she witnessed her 10 year old cousin’s first time mess.
I think I’m gonna start with - the grocery list - when I do my shopping for the necessity - I’ll pick it up when she is around. So that could open up doors to many questions. I won’t be shy in telling the truth!
Oh and P.S. In the past whenever I have picked up the sanitary napkins from the store - MY KIDS have laughed AT ME !!! 
They say mom wears diapers!!! 