Is it a bad thing to be quiet? i have friends who are extremely talkative, they can strike up a conversation with anyone - and me, i am just the opposite. i am a pretty private person, even with my middle sister i don’t share much.. Though we used to be extremely close in childhood. Is anyone else really really quiet? Have you tried to change that ? Is it so bad? Should there be a limit to how quiet one is? The only person i feel completely comfortable around is, strangely enough perhaps, my sister’s mother-in-law. She is an amazing lady and she knows me better than probably 99.5% of my friends… she understands me even better than my mother.
i am just wondering - should there be a limit of how quiet one is? Is that an indication of something bad in someone? i’m in a rush, have to leave in less than 5 minutes, so sorry if this sounds scattered. Just wondering about this.
i cant be open with everyone, all of my friends are special to me in their own ways, my closest friend whome ive known for abt 10 years and went to the same school with i can tell her absolutely everything, just talking to each other abt life college family relationships etc makes us feel better
the reason being we’re as balanced and blase as each other we understand each other perfectly
my more religious friends wellu can guess i cant talk abt everything to her but i still feel perfectly comfortable in her company, other friends whose brothers went to Oxford uni u can guess our main conversation topics i can only talk to her abt work and very intellectual subjects bcos she leaves no other space in her life for much else
as for siblings, im not close to my sister as i am to my brother, we talk abt almost everything, every couple of days we have a chat for abt 1/2 hours which i look forward to bcos of the laughs
the question is whether u feel comfortable airing ure opinions to youre friends or mebbe theyre SO talkative u cant get a word in edgeways!
and i do have a friend like that, once we walked homefrom college together and she started talking to me at the top of my street at a junction, she mustve been talking to me for an hour and i was getting real dizzy
eventually there was a car accident just behind me which got her attention so i got my excuse and escaped whilst i oculd
well i like to talk to everyone anywhere. ofcourse what i talk about depends on who i am talking to.
but usually i'll talk to ppl about whatever even if i am meet them for the first time :-)
I think being sociable/outgoing and being private are not mutually exclusive. I consider myself a fairly sociable and outgoing person. Yet at the same time I am a very private person in some respects. i.e. just because I can talk to people in a social setting does not mean I start sharing with them information that i would keep private.
I used to be very talkative and friendly to everyone I met right away.
But now I can be so quiet around new people.. that is until I get to know them better.
Regarding privacy I am totally comfortable with myself and my past I don't have a problem discussing just about anything.. however I really don't find a need to either..
..what others may consider private doesn't seem to matter anymore to me ..and those things that are personal I don't really discuss with anyone
Hey Nadia... thats so cute :) ur exactly like my sis... her names nadia too hehe..
personally i think being talkative and privacy are separate things.. people who can talk to everyone doesnt really mean that they tell everyoen about themselves.. its jsut that they are comfortable in striking a conversation.... and similary.. someone who doesnt talk much doesnt mean that they are private.. its just that they may be selective... hmmm i think..
my sis is sooo quiet when it comes to the pakistani community, everyone is always telling me to get her to talk.. lekin when shes with her school friends.. she can hardly shut up...
i on the other hand am a chatter box.. but i get told im shy.. doesnt make sense huh? but yeah.. i dont have any problems with talking to strangers.. my sis gets embarrassed cus i do that.. hehe
in conclusion id like to say.... no its not a bad thing to be private.. its actually good. I used to talk a lot before.. now even my mum says i dont speak... maybe ive matured.. uh oh! and i think the person i can talk to about practically anything.. is a lil 14 yr old... i know.. wierd.. but we seem to totally get what the other is saying... its nice
i don’t think there should be a limit to how quiet one is.
and its NOT an indication of something bad.
i used to be VERY QUIET and SHY!!! but thats gone out the window…now i can talk and talk and talk…i’m not really sure what brought on the change…but several people from work have told me that when they first met me…i was this quiet and shy lil girl and now i’m so outgoing and talkative…they mean it as a compliment, but i’m not sure if its a good thing or bad
bottom line: if u are happy being quiet…then don’t change that!!!
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Originally posted by Nadia_H: *
This came on my mind for a reason.
Is it a bad thing to be quiet? sometimes it is i have friends who are extremely talkative, they can strike up a conversation with anyone - and me, i am just the opposite. i am a pretty private person, even with my middle sister i don't share much.. Though we used to be extremely close in childhood. Is anyone else really really quiet? here's one Have you tried to change that ? yeah ... but after a period of time you will become back your old self The only person i feel completely comfortable around is, strangely enough perhaps, my sister's mother-in-law. She is an amazing lady and she knows me better than probably 99.5% of my friends... she understands me even better than my mother.
i am just wondering - should there be a limit of how quiet one is? yes Is that an indication of something bad in someone? i don't think so .. i think its something which we (the shy and reserved people) will get over as time passes by .. my opinion
I think being sociable/outgoing and being private are not mutually exclusive. I consider myself a fairly sociable and outgoing person. Yet at the same time I am a very private person in some respects. i.e. just because I can talk to people in a social setting does not mean I start sharing with them information that i would keep private.
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as far as people whoa re quiet, is it because they are shy, dont have the right social skills, dont have interests that they could talk about or are not knowledgeable to become part in discussions.
I still fail to see what being private has to do with being outgoing.
I mean if you are at a social event, just because you talk to people, does not mean you start sharing details about your personal life with them.
am I the only one who does not get what the connection between being private and being an introvert is? well Nutza agreed so there is one more person who sees it this way.
Just cuz ur private doesnt make u shy or introverted
I like to keep many of my secrets to myself or i only share with those i know rele well..n even then i dont tell them everything...i just think its unhealthy to tell everything about urself to others even if u r very close
However, I am VERY outgoing in public, i can strike up a conversation with neone but u see its easy to have a conversation without bringing up private or personal topics...so u can be an extrovert n still be a relatively private person.
I think being sociable/outgoing and being private are not mutually exclusive. I consider myself a fairly sociable and outgoing person. Yet at the same time I am a very private person in some respects. i.e. just because I can talk to people in a social setting does not mean I start sharing with them information that i would keep private.
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Fraudiya, you should charge these nudniks a hefty sum for imparting such conventional wisdom.
"how private are you?"....the title should be changes to "how socially inept are you that you have to ask this question"
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*Originally posted by Fraudz: *
as far as people whoa re quiet, is it because they are shy, dont have the right social skills, dont have interests that they could talk about or are not knowledgeable to become part in discussions.
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OR they have been there and done that.. and don't give a rodent's posterior no more..
Xara… ha:D It’s not that i don’t get an opportunity to sneak in a few words in my friends’ conversations. Sometimes i prefer if they keep talking actually - less pressure on me to keep up my end of the conversation;~)
DesiMunda… What does the “…” mean?
Fraudz… Good point. They are not mutually exclusive.
Waqas… You stated, those things that are personal I don’t really discuss with anyone. You mean that you don’t discuss that AT ALL with anyone in your life?
Sadzzz,
i think you and Fraudz mean the same thing, am i correct ? i understand what you mean. Waisay i mean, i talk fine with people in general - it’s just, i don’t know, i am a very very private person. Sometimes it’s really frustrating - for people like my sister who wishes i would open up more. But with human feelings, nothing is like an off-and-on switch - i can’t just open up just like that. It’s not automatic.
Zidee… Thank you i want to know, what changed you?
Larki Punjaban… so u can be an extrovert n still be a relatively private person. True. i understand what you and Fraudz are referring to. What about with people you are close to in your personal life? Shouldn’t it be technically-speaking easier to open up with them? But that’s not always how it works, for me.
i’m in a rush, have to leave in less than 5 minutes, so sorry if this sounds scattered. Just wondering about this.
i cant talk abt everything to her but i still feel perfectly comfortable in her company, other friends whose brothers went to Oxford uni 
u can guess our main conversation topics i can only talk to her abt work and very intellectual subjects bcos she leaves no other space in her life for much else
which got her attention so i got my excuse and escaped whilst i oculd 
i want to know, what changed you?