This question is especially for (newly) married women-- how often do you visit your family and for how long? does your husband go with you?
For those that have been married longer, has there been a change in your visiting pattern?
Re: How often do you visit your families?
we visit his parent's usually twice a month on sundays... its meant to be every sunday but it doesnt usually work out like that. my folks live in dubai so sadly, we don't visit as often as we'd like. boo! we do visit my aunts/uncles here quite often though so i guess it kind of makes up for it?
Re: How often do you visit your families?
My family lives on a six hour drive away and we have visited them quite often for one thing or another, every couple of months. Mostly there is a good reason for it (eid, my dad calling us to meet my sister's rishta, etc). Only once did i go without him and stayed a while but both of us decided we dont want to do that anytime soon again. His family lives in Pak so visiting them often is kind of out of the question.
Re: How often do you visit your families?
good topic.
my thoughts on this: relationships with immediate family and extended family are a balancing act.
when inviting and visiting is done with all one's heart, that is great. grand-parents, parents, cousins, aunts and uncles, siblings, their spouses' families, own spouse and his/her family are all necessary to stay in contact with, for primarily being a social support for them, WHILE MAINTAINING ONE'S OWN LIFE AS AN INDEPENDENT INDIVIDUAL HUMAN BEING, WORKING PROFESSIONAL YOUNG PERSON, WHO IS TRYING TO GET ESTABLISHED IN LIFE, FINANCIALLY AND SOCIALLY. rely on your intuition of being right and fair. be sympathic, but not let others roll you over in forcing to be the host or spender of time and resources and still get the bad name. better is to leave people with a good sense of presence of your own, when you visit them or invite them at your place, but do not probe in their matters, nor volunteer all your time or energies to encourage dependency on yourself. if someone asks for advice or request actual tangible support, do what you can, but clearly state that you have your own family and personal work related or other appointments for which you cannot literally be always there for that family member. there must be a limit on how you spend and what amount on whom when family events take place.
in sickness and in illness it is different, because that involves personal care.
but other wise, if someone banks on you, you have to set a clear limit.
if visiting or inviting becomes humiliating or is never enough no matter what you do, then, it is better to stay away until people realize that they don’t own you.
however, when you are a young adult who has the means to visit to ask how someone is, you should pay a visit, with something to take to their home or if they are ill, to see them and wish them well.
for instance, some families expect newly married folks to visit all the weekends, with parents. that may not be always possible.
and if you know someone does not like you or is jealous of you, do not go to them to get their evil eye on you.
together, as a couple, the newly wed or even a few years old married couple, can easily think up a routine of what they would like to do, in terms of visiting relatives.
again, be content within yourself and treat good people nicely and bad people, nicely once, but after that set clear boundaries for future interaction, if at all.
best,
Dushwari
Re: How often do you visit your families?
My parents live 2hrs away and i only get to visit them once every 4-6weeks. When i do go to my parents, i spend the weekend and then hubby comes to collect me on sunday - which gives him a chance to meet everyone.
I feel like whenever i tell my inlaws esp my MIL that im going to my parents, they dont like it! MIL keeps saying “tum phir ja rahey ho, abhey to aaye thee” - even though i havent seen them for over 4 weeks…
The last time i saw my parents was 17th October now…
Re: How often do you visit your families?
Awwww, that sucks!!
My sister-in-law sees her family in connecticut at least once a month...
Re: How often do you visit your families?
that does suck!
my family lives 4 hrs away and we used to visit at least once a month, usually twice, but now things have come up and my husband doesnt feel comfortable going so i have to go alone, i feel so bad leaving him on thanksgiving weekend, but i guess i cant be in two places at once 
Re: How often do you visit your families?
i know it does suck and its quite sad cuz its hard hearing my parents voice on the phone all the time if i havent seen them for a long time. Even my bro who is 3yrs younger than me is always asking when i am coming home - i hate telling him that i cant...i cant...knowing very well why...
Re: How often do you visit your families?
well i hope it works out well-- have you tried talking to your husband about it?
Re: How often do you visit your families?
well i hope it works out well-- have you tried talking to your husband about it?
Nah! No point! I have explained to my mum and she understands! Its ok...i guess im used to it! When i do go, i have to make sure i make the most of it!
Re: How often do you visit your families?
^well at least your mom understands, that makes things a lot easier usually
Re: How often do you visit your families?
This question is especially for (newly) married women-- how often do you visit your family and for how long? does your husband go with you? For those that have been married longer, has there been a change in your visiting pattern?
my family lives in a diff state so i visit them every 4-6 months and sometimes they come n visits me....and ofcourse my hubby comes with me....but there was one time i went alone cuz he was not getting off from work during that week and that was the only week off for me but we try to go together...this trend havent changed yet..i hope it stays the way it is
:D
Re: How often do you visit your families?
I see mine every single day, we live just around the corner and I usually drop by on the way home from work for a few minutes. My husband drops by and has a cup of chai and a chat with the parents on his way to work every day too. On sundays we have a big family meal and alternate between having it at our place or having at my parents.
We're like the Waltons :D
Re: How often do you visit your families?
^ thats awesome! :)
im still learning to be comfortable around my in-laws, in that i can speak to them about things openly and not have to edit my comments. but then i've only been married for a bit over three months, so i guess it'll come with time?
Re: How often do you visit your families?
....
Re: How often do you visit your families?
my family lives 8 hours drive from..an hou´r's flight...in the begininng I visited them once a month but after a period of 6 months I have started visiting them less..now its every 2nd month.
main reason has been my health as I get tired easily
My in-laws also live 8 hours drive from us, on the opposite direction from ym family. We have just visited them once after we got married. they have been here for 4 months in between and we cant visit them without taking leave as working from home isnt an option due to lack of internet connection. But my MIl doesnt understand this and keeps comapring my travel to my family with the only trip we had to them. But I have seen them more than my parents as they had been here for 4 months...
I am going to visit my family today:D and will stay for the long weekend but we are not telling my in-laws cuz they will not understand this...
Re: How often do you visit your families?
My family lives 1.5 hrs away from me. Hubs and I visit them every few weeks and stay over for the weekend.
My brother's visit us every few weeks aswell and stay over for a couple of days. Mum visits me less often cuz she has the household to take care of.
Re: How often do you visit your families?
I see mine every single day, we live just around the corner and I usually drop by on the way home from work for a few minutes. My husband drops by and has a cup of chai and a chat with the parents on his way to work every day too. On sundays we have a big family meal and alternate between having it at our place or having at my parents.
We're like the Waltons :D
omg that sounds so wonderful!! i think you have the best possible situation, both of you get to see your parents as often as you want!
Re: How often do you visit your families?
Sorry should've been more clearer, it's my family that we see every day. My in-laws live in pak so sadly we can't visit them as often but we do converse on the phone/msn/text constantely and hopefully we'll be in a position to take a trip there soon :)