Yes,so my question is how much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?Is it good when a person gives of himself/herself completely in a relationship,but doesn’t get the same,but only little from the other side?
What’s your opinion?
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
i gave my appendix in our relationship.
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
depends on the nature of the person itself.u cant stop a person who is sincere at heart from giving 100% of him/herself to a relation.no matter how many examples you tell him/her to be careful abt indulging.
plus it also depends how the other side reciprocates.if the return from him/her is equally good too,there is no harm in giving it all.if the other person expects to get 100% before giving his/her full to a relation,giving less will bring harm
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
When you get into a relationship, you give it a 100%.
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
and when u get into multiple relationships you till give them a 100% at a time.
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
multiple relationships?
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
well why do ppl think of relationships as only romantic..we have many relationships and each deserves a 100%.
How would you "measure" how much one gives in a relationship. I think it's kind of subjective and can vary according to personality. If you're in a commitment, then you give it your best effort. Sometimes your own sincere giving nature can inspire/motivate the other person to reciprocate and give back. Since relationships are supposed to be mutual, they require give/take from both parties. If you feel that your partner is not reciprocating, perhaps he's not aware of it. So, communicate with him about that. I know it's human nature to keep score, and I think **we all **do it in all sorts of relationships. But the problem with keeping score sometimes is that it can lead to development of grudges and breakdown of relationship. So set a positive example for the other person and communicate as they may just be thoughtless.
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
In any relationship we have to give as much as we can with a mixture of love and whatever we can.
Do not expect from others. Others can't repay but only expect from Allah for all the rewards. Allah doesn't leave us.
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
^ you mean,in a relationship,one should just give without expecting anything in return?
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
Yes absolutely because ppl don't give return even when they will be able to if they don't like or love you.
Allah can you will get more and better reward. Insha Allah.
Relationships are supposed to be mutual so there is/should be a mutual give/take in all relationships. Some people give more, some take more. And sometimes it's hard to measure. For example, one person might believe that buying their loved ones gifts/material things is their idea of "giving" in the relationships. But another person may not be interested in giving material things, he/she prefers to give their time and emotional support instead. So there are different ways of giving.And giving shoes that you care about the other person. It doesn't matter if you're giving help/time/emotional support/gifts. And you can encourage the person to give by setting a sincere positive example for them. My friend Rebecca noticed from her Asian friends that desi/Asian culture places a strong emphasis on hospitality and sharing. And she felt that in her own culture, often times people are self-absorbed and less giving. It was an experience that made her contemplate/realize things. SO, you can motivate others to give/share. And if you value the relationship, then communicate your concerns with the other person. They could simply be clueless about their thoughtlessness.
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
^^Well Said Gr8>>Only expect from Allah
It's considering a person to be important enough to give your time.I think 100%
Sometime You give more but others can't give u bk.Sometime ppl give u a lot nd u cant giv bk.so it depnds on situation nd person as well.
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
Exactly LB.
Kabhi kabhi to insaan kay ikhtiaar main bohat kuch hota hai phir bhi kuch naheen detay hatta kay aik shukria bhi naheen kahtay aur ulta bura hi kartay hain balkay bohat bura kartay hain. Aisa meray saath kai salon say hota aa raha hai. Laikin main kabhi bura naheen manata.
Hamaisha Allah say ummeed rakhta hoon. Allah ka shukur hai Allah mujhay bohat deta hai.
Koi aaj naheen kar raha aur aap khuloos aur naik niaati say kartay rahain to Allah aik na aik din aap ka waqt zaroo lautata hai. Allah yoonhi chornay wala naheen aur zarra zarra naiki aur achchay amal ka sila day ga. Insha Allah.
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
marriage = all
any other rela = not as much
Both should give something and keep something to/for themselves. One of the issues (I consider it an issue anyway) of our culture is that often females have to give up everything and always be their for everyone, even when they have needs too, mostly females who live as if they don’t excist are the ones who are praised in our culture, well certain people in my family praise them a lot anyway. You know, the girl who doesn’t say anything back when being insulted by inlaws or other relatives, the tired wife who has to forget her own health, being forced to get married and having children when you’re not ready yet, while you still want to finish school. That happened to me.
They gave me to my mothers older sisters son, first they all said they didn’t mind if I would finish school even after marriage, after marriage however my cousin, I should say my husband, always argued with me about my education, his arguments drove me crazy, his mother argued with me too about my education, then they argued with my parents about me, my Mom angry with me because of them, it was extra difficult because he was the son of her older sister, so whose side would she take now, me her daughter, or listen to her older sister and side with the son of her older sister? I couldn’t take it anymore and eventually dropped out of school without finishing my education. Another thing I had to give up for that marriage I didn’t even ask for, was my life in Holland. He lives in France. Before marriage, his parents said they didn’t care where we lived, after marriage, that was also a huge argument. He refused to let me finish school here, refused to live here, only came during weekends and holidays or forced me to visit him, alway when I didn’t come, he argued with me over the phone. Then his mother argued with me and with my mother, then my mother argued with me. So I also had to move to France, he promised all the arguments would stop if I would just give up my education and move to France. But life only became worse for me. They also argued about having children, I didn’t become pregrant right away which they hated, my cousin Ansa who actually supposed to marry my husband but had refused him, married his younger brother about two weeks after my own wedding, she got pregnant right away. So everyone was comparing me with her! Even my own mother was fighting with me about not being pregnant right away. They kept arguing with me, but it was normal not to become pregnant right away, because I tried to complete my education and get my diploma, so the first period of my married life, I continued to live with my parents and went to school in Holland, while my husband lived and worked in France, so of course it’s only normal that I didn’t get pregnant right away, even though he did visit me often and made me visit him as well. Eventually, I couldn’t handle everybody arguing with me all the time anymore, I gave up school finally in 1996, about half a year after our nikkah, and moved to live with him in France, then I was pregnant within months. But I wasn’t ready to have children yet. I still regretted being forced out of school without my diploma and being forced to move to France and even though I tried, I just couldn’t love my cousin, I mean husband and I wasn’t happy and certainly not ready at that time to become a mother. But I had to put all my wishes and happiness aside for my family members. What did I get? More problems. All my Aunties were also always calling us and saying that I should move to France instead of him moving to Holland, they even argued with my mother sometimes and then she always took her anger out on me. But even after giving up so many things, (he also said he didn’t want me to be beautifull 
and I shouldn’t talk much with any boy or man, including the rest of our cousing, he didn’t want me wear high shoes, because he was about 1 cm shorter than me and he didn’t want me to look taller than him, he didn’t want me to have contact with most of my friends, some of them even childhood friends, when one of them wrote me a letter, he also read it first, he let my cousin Ansa translate the Dutch so he could understand what it said when I got letters in Dutch, I wasn’t allowed to go outside alone very often, later that changed, but sometimes when he got angry over sometimes, he again forbade that, he also said that shouldn’t bend anymore, because he said that I bended in a way that attracted men and he accused me of doing that on purpose 
, for years I was afraid to bend, now I know what he said isn’t true, before he said those things, I had never even thought about how I would look when I bend, why do husbands have these ridicilous stupid theories and thoughts?! etc. etc. is there anything I was allowed? sure, breathing and cooking and cleaning and obeying him always and taking care of the children of his brothers and sister and I always had to be ready for his sexual needs, he could go on about that stupid hadith that according to him says that a wife who refuses (sex with) her husband will go to hell, that the angels will curse her and continue to curse her as long as her husband isn’t happy again , that can’t be Islam!) but even after giving up everything and obeying him, my marriage was still horrible, the most awful time of my life. He became worse and worse, demanded only more obedience from me and forbade even more things, sometimes even what he had previously given me permission for! During all the years of married life, I felt like I was dead, not living anymore. What did I get from listening to my family and what did I get from giving up everything and giving myself entirely to my husband? A horrible and awful life with more problems than I could count.
So, don’t ever be the only person in a relationship who gives everything up, the other person should do something for you as well. And you should have some part of you just for yourself.
And don’t forget, that someone who does nothing for you but command that you should give up everything for him and obey him, is bound to give you more problems instead of happiness, no matter what you do, things will get worse. Best thing is, to leave that person.
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
^ and now?
Re: How much should a person give of himself/herself in a relationship?
That is such a sad story notorious. What is the ending?
I am just speechless as to what so many women on these forums have had to endure. How can Pakistani men treat women this way? Is this what our culture and faith has taught them?
this is the same question i was pondering upon lately
and had a huge discussion over this with hubby dear....
mager kuch hasal nahi hova :S