Re: How much Jahaiz?
So I actually brought it up with my fiance tonight. Still havn’t gotten around talking to my mamma about it.
He didn’t know much about it so I explained to him what I have learned thanks to you luvely ladies. His reaction??? He thinks the whole practice of “Jahaiz” is “jaahil”. His words..not mine. I was like …yea but what about if your parents expect it?? And he was like that is not even the issue because he isn’t going to accept any household items from my parents. Whether it be bedroom linens or the entire bedroom furniture set. He told me that his parents are just going to have to understand and respect his wishes and where they are coming from. He is working hard right now so that he can provide for us. He takes a huge pride in this. We are both really looking forward to setting up our place inshAllah once we get married. From picking out furniture to picking out dinner sets…he wants us to do it together and have it be completely our choice. Sure…it might take a little bit longer for us to accumulate all these things… but he said that thats a part of starting a new life together.
He was like yea sure…if your parents want to give you a couple outfits and like a blender for a gift… who am I to stop them. lol. 
But he thinks its taking it to a whole other level if its anything more than this.
I feel so much better about this issue… i mean… i think its ridiculous how much a girl’s parents are expected to fork over in regards to a shaadi in general. I feel guilty about this as it is…especially since I know they have already spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on my education 
. It’s too much man. A girl’s parents should not have to go through this much financial burden and stress. I hope inshAllah that other peoples mentalities start changing in regards to this tradition. I agree with the above poster… it is the husbands responsibility to provide for his wife. Or atleast the in-laws… i mean.. the girl is leaving HER family to become a part of THEIR family right!!! Her new family should take care of her. I understand completely if a girl is moving overseas and desires to bring some things of comfort with her that she knows can’t be bought where she is moving. But now a days… even this argument is hard to make since internet has made things so easy to ship and globalization in general has made things available everywhere. So I dunno 
But those of you where this tradition is going strong in your families… it is best to talk to your hubby and scope out the situation. See what is best and most needed for you to bring. And try to keep it as minimalist as possible???