How much information should you share with your spouse ? Is there a limit, should you strive to share everything?
I personally share everything. I don’t like to keep anything hidden. Today I told my future hubby that I have tried drinking before. I explained it all to him, and I was shocked that he took it better than my mom. He gave me encouragement and support and was understanding, even though from his face I could tell he was a bit shaken lol. He is born, raised and lives in Pakistan, so to be honest I was not expecting this reaction.
My parents on the other hand are another story. I told them I told him because I want to share everything with my husband, and they are crying about how he might not want to marry me anymore and asking me how can I trust a person so easily/quickly. Then they also said you don’t know what kind of person he is, he may use this against you someday, etc. They say that some things are best left hidden for the betterment of the marriage. What do you make of that? I was just appalled that they would even say that. I’m supposed to be sharing my entire life with this guy, and here they are patronizing me for trusting him so much. Like WHAAATTT ?! I know that I’m right with sharing this with him, because he appreciates it, but my parents are really making me feel bad about myself. Like they have more experience than me, so maybe they have a point.
Unless you plan to drink again, why would you share this piece of information with anyone? It makes no sense. It is generally a bad idea to tell your beloved your dirty secrets in order to shift your guilt. You just end up hurting them. Don't do it again. I don't mean drinking, I mean shifting your guilt for something you did and knew was wrong. That is not sharing, that is giving your baggage to someone else to worry about.
Unless you plan to drink again, why would you share this piece of information with anyone? It makes no sense. It is generally a bad idea to tell your beloved your dirty secrets in order to shift your guilt. You just end up hurting them. Don't do it again. I don't mean drinking, I mean shifting your guilt for something you did and knew was wrong. That is not sharing, that is giving your baggage to someone else to worry about.
It was kind of a huge turning point in my life. Basically a wake up to get my **** together and smarten up. I don't know but i felt it was a part of me, so I wanted to share it. Hadn't even heard about guilt shifting before. But ya thanks :)
It was kind of a huge turning point in my life. Basically a wake up to get my **** together and smarten up. I don't know but i felt it was a part of me, so I wanted to share it. Hadn't even heard about guilt shifting before. But ya thanks :)
I can understand where you are coming from. If you worry that your hubby to be may hear about this from another source, then it is better that you tell him yourself. However, you are naive to think that just because your husband grew up in Pakistan, he wouldn't have tried drinking or drugs. You will never know if he did. He is probably smart enough to not share with you
Unless you plan to drink again, why would you share this piece of information with anyone? It makes no sense. It is generally a bad idea to tell your beloved your dirty secrets in order to shift your guilt. You just end up hurting them. Don't do it again. I don't mean drinking, I mean shifting your guilt for something you did and knew was wrong. That is not sharing, that is giving your baggage to someone else to worry about.
Ethan? you should be banned from life and relationship
I can understand where you are coming from. If you worry that your hubby to be may hear about this from another source, then it is better that you tell him yourself. However, you are naive to think that just because your husband grew up in Pakistan, he wouldn't have tried drinking or drugs. You will never know if he did. He is probably smart enough to not share with you
The first time i ever had a drink was in Pakistan and also the first time I smoked a joint was also in Pakistan. ( Don't do those things anymore)
^un-oh! Bad idea to share that on here. Online molvis will hold this over your head and bring this up in every thread telling you how being an atheist or irreligious turned you into a baghairat insaan
^un-oh! Bad idea to share that on here. Online molvis will hold this over your head and bring this up in every thread telling you how being an atheist or irreligious turned you into a baghairat insaan
not proud of it, whatever happened in the past cant be changed
Coming back to the topic, I think its good to share your past with your spouse but not unnecessary details. For example, I don't share details of my past relationships with him too much. Just like I wouldn't want him to discuss his previous relationships in detail with me. other than that, i think i have shared almost everything else.
I think not everyone can handle what you share. Just consider that thread where the wife shared her past relationship and guy is suspicious about her checking her ex fb. Some people on the other hand might appreciate that you trusted them and shared it and wont use it against you afterwards.
We cant really make a generalize proposition of it can/ should be shared or not. It depends from person to person and relationship u have with your spouse.
How much information should you share with your spouse ? Is there a limit, should you strive to share everything?
I personally share everything. I don't like to keep anything hidden. Today I told my future hubby that I have tried drinking before. I explained it all to him, and I was shocked that he took it better than my mom. He gave me encouragement and support and was understanding, even though from his face I could tell he was a bit shaken lol. He is born, raised and lives in Pakistan, so to be honest I was not expecting this reaction.
My parents on the other hand are another story. I told them I told him because I want to share everything with my husband, and they are crying about how he might not want to marry me anymore and asking me how can I trust a person so easily/quickly. Then they also said you don't know what kind of person he is, he may use this against you someday, etc. They say that some things are best left hidden for the betterment of the marriage. What do you make of that? I was just appalled that they would even say that. I'm supposed to be sharing my entire life with this guy, and here they are patronizing me for trusting him so much. Like WHAAATTT ?! I know that I'm right with sharing this with him, because he appreciates it, but my parents are really making me feel bad about myself. Like they have more experience than me, so maybe they have a point.
Your parents are right. No need to share everything with him. You will have your whole life to talk about things - why try to do it all before you have even got married?
Who are you talking to? Me or Ethan?