I am near to the Decision to “quit my Job and go for MS studies”.
I am wining bread for my family from this Job, quiting to it would mean that I would be no longer able to afford her and little baby with me abroad.
The job is good , however could be optimised more If I go for Higher Studies(Ms/M.phil) and this I can do now better because of studies gap and age.
We are married since last one and half year , were al Humdu Lillah together all the past time after marriage and Masha Allah we have one son of age 7 months.
I just fear in case I go for studies abroad and am not able to be with her for at least 2 years , what would be the effects on our relation?
I would do try my best to be with her for some times(times I would be getting out of studies/work etc).
Hope GS Members come up with mORE practiCAL examples.
There are many colleges and universities that offer online degree programs now. I'd seriously consider an option like that before leaving my wife and child for 2 years!
You could also look into scholarships and on-campus family housing. Most master's programs offer apartments to married graduate students at very low cost and assist the families with their cost of living. Your wife and child could then be with you for the duration of your studies.
Another option is to complete your studies part time at night, most larger companies will pay your tuition costs while you work as their employee during the day and attend class at night.
I would not be happy been left on my own for 2 years for the sake of a masters, it would have to be a real 'once in a lifetime' opportunity.
Also, maybe your wife is happy with what you already provide, she maybe willing to live with a little less luxury in order to spend more time with you.
Its competetive to get a job in teaching philosophy with that degree - if you interview well and you're stronger than other masters' students and you're at a good institution that is KNOWN for their phil dept, then you could get a job teaching community college. At least, that's how it is in the states. A very good childhood friend of mine now teaches at comm college after her masters + 1 yr experience in college administration --> only now with the community college job of 3-4 years and reapplying every year into phd programs, did she actually get into a phd school. Even then, she'll probably still teach at the community college - she'll just get 10K more.
So, yeah, do a cost ratio analysis of how much more money you're going to make and is it worth it. Definitely do it if its an intellectual desire, just have her close to you.
I think you risk causing a lot of unspoken resentment on your wife's part. Not to mention that distance can really break or damage the emotional bond between husband and wife. It's also so important to consider your role as father and to consider what it will do for your child to not see his daddy and to be without that figure for years at a time. Small children can only think in concrete terms---your voice on the phone really won't mean anything to him and won't provide an example.
I think you need to first make a reasonable assessment of the potential monetary gain. For example, if you're currently making $40K/yr., your immediate income loss will be $80K, plus whatever additional expense might go into tuition, paying for a second residence for yourself, etc. Then take a very honest look at the job market----if you can expect to make $10K/yr more with the new degree (which is pretty generous considering the difference in a BA and an MPhil, like hitchki said it's probably not going to be that big) it will take you about a decade of working to just make up for lost income. You won't even make any money off your degree for many years. Measured against the worth of maintaining a daily bond with your wife and providing a daily example for your son during his most formative years, it doesn't quite seem worth it to me.
Being a smart, hard-working employee is worth more than any degree. If you don't currently work someplace that rewards hard work and smarts rather than simply a list of degrees and qualifications, a better move would be to find a new job in a workplace that does reward people for their work product and where there's more upward mobility. You'll actually see immediate returns that way.
A spouse can deal with the separation, it's tough, but it's doable, but you would be leaving your child during some of his most important developmental stages. How will you feel when your own child doesn't know you?
Ahmed makes a good point, how would you feel if your son acted shy/scared when meeting you after that time. You have not even been married for 2 years, but you are already willing to be separated for 2 years? You have a family now, they come first any further academic development should be done part-time to fit around your family.
what about your 7 month old son? being without him for 2 years would be very tough...those years are the best when you see you son finally walking, speaking his first words, eating solids etc.
I am near to the Decision to "quit my Job and go for MS studies".
I am wining bread for my family from this Job, quiting to it would mean that I would be no longer able to afford her and little baby with me abroad.
The job is good , however could be optimised more If I go for Higher Studies(Ms/M.phil) and this I can do now better because of studies gap and age.
We are married since last one and half year , were al Humdu Lillah together all the past time after marriage and Masha Allah we have one son of age 7 months.
I just fear in case I go for studies abroad and am not able to be with her for at least 2 years , what would be the effects on our relation?
I would do try my best to be with her for some times(times I would be getting out of studies/work etc).
Hope GS Members come up with mORE practiCAL examples.
i dont think you should leave her...you should take her with you she will learn to live on whatever little you are able to provide her with but living without hubby for tow years is awful ive been living without mine for 6 months now (because of immigration issues) and m total mess plzz dont do this to her its not worth it ....my father got married before leaving for germany to do his masters and then to japan to do his doctorate...my mom went with him both places and survived on his scholarship/loan money...even though they had twins in germany and one more son in japan....for the duration of the time they were living in germany my mom and dad survived only on bread and butter..they ate nothing else didnt go out anywhere except for walks and didn't shop...they gave the babies proper food n clothes but for themselves they kept to minimum...same in japan...so im sure ur wife will be cooperative n try to make do with however much you give her but dont leave her for 2 yrs
Man can tolerate the thirst for one week, the hunger for two weeks, and being homeless for years, but he can’t stand being alone even for a second. Loneliness is the worst torture and the worst kind of pain.
I know you must love your wife and child so I will simply say this much:
Leaving a new born baby and wife is never a good idea...especially at this stage when you should be with him much more then not. It affects your relationship with your wife and child. You feel distant, unattached and lose tempers quicker.
Ive seen it happen and it doesnt work for more then a few months and thats only if the man has the patience of a saint.
I do not think its a good idea for you to leave your wife and child right now.